


Broken Chains

by marmolady



Series: Endless Ending [11]
Category: Endless Summer (Visual Novel)
Genre: Choices: Stories You Play - Freeform, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Playchoices - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-08 08:29:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 50,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18890905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marmolady/pseuds/marmolady
Summary: The weight of the world on one person’s shoulders… a burden like that can only be held for so long. Taylor must face her destiny and set Vaanu free. But at what cost?(Endless ending)





	1. End of Paradise

Time on La Huerta seemed not to exist; summer days flowing into nights, the weeks blurring together in a never-ending stretch of paradise. The horizon still burned, but it was almost another reality now. A dream from another lifetime. It was easier that way. To stop and remember, to feel the depth of loss, an agonising chasm that bore into all their hearts... to do so would have made it near impossible to face each new day.

The Catalysts had formed a small community; balanced, and built on the sorts of trials that forged the strongest of bonds. A family. All sharing an unspeakable grief; loved ones perished, and a future burned with them. All except for Taylor. The burden on her heart was different, but just as heavy. By now, it was no secret that she was born of Vaanu, created to see her friends through the island’s perils. She had no family, save for the friends she’d gathered around her. But that the world could be restored through her sacrifice and return to the crystal planet -that she’d been unable to bring herself to do so- was knowledge only to few. It was Taylor’s shame, and she quietly carried it with her wherever she went.

In the months since the rooftop confrontation with Rourke, it had become clear that it simply wouldn’t be sustainable to continue living in The Celestial. With well over one thousand suites, the scale of the place was immense, and maintaining it to a liveable standard increasingly difficult. In its enormity, it often felt like a ghost town, with entire floors eerily empty. There had, of course, been differences of opinion; with some wanting to remain in the luxurious surrounds, however difficult it might be to manage, while others were ready to move on, put their own stamp on La Huerta. In the end, the foundations for Catalyst Village were built upon the edge of the grassy plain beside Elyys’tel. It was a significant trek, but the proximity to Varyyn, to a thriving community, all of which would help them find their feet, made it a no-brainer. It was slow progress, even with the help of many strong and grateful Vaanti, but the beginnings of a new home gave everyone a sense of moving forward, of making their life on La Huerta their own. 

Taylor threw herself into the work with abandon. It was her fault, and her fault alone, that her friends had no homes to return to, and she saw it as her responsibility to make this new life a good one. Nothing she ever did felt like enough. All the love she had to offer could not bring back what was taken from them. She didn’t know how much longer she could live with herself… not while knowing that it was within her power to heal her friends’ every hurt. Estela would hold her in her arms, tell her that she’d learn to find peace with what had happened, that she’d done the right thing, but Taylor no longer believed it. The burning on the horizon each night seared into her soul, a festering wound that refused to heal. Taylor realised she didn’t  _want_ it to. She deserved every painful reminder of the choice she’d made.

Putting in the vast wooden floor for a central hub was hot work under the blazing sun. Taylor worked alongside Sean, Jake, Craig and Estela, determined to make some good progress. She’d noticed that Sean, usually one to overwork himself until he dropped -desperate as he was to be the provider to his friends- was flagging.

“Hey, you wanna take a break?” Taylor asked, handing Sean his water bottle. “You look like you’ve been working yourself too hard. There’s no big rush to pull this place up, you know.”

Sean wiped the sweat from his brow. “All right, we’ll take ten.” He gratefully accepted his water and wandered towards the ocean, his eyes glazed as if he was lost, a million miles away.

Taylor quietly followed after him, waiting for him to speak. It looked to her as though he was on the verge of tears. “Sean…”

“It would have been her birthday today,” he said at last, his words coming out with a sigh of despair. “Momma’s fiftieth.” Instinctively, he looked out to sea, where he knew that so far away, the home they’d shared continued to burn.

“Oh,” was all Taylor could say. All of a sudden, it felt as though her chest was in a vice. She put her hand on Sean’s arm, hoping that he could feel how much she cared.

“I’d been planning for two years. Putting money away for a Hawaiian cruise. Just to give her some time out, to enjoy some luxury for a change. I would have given her the world if I could.”

“Sean, I’m… I’m so sorry.”

Sean put his hands to his face, breathing through his emotions, unable to tear his wistful gaze from the horizon. “We got it all wrong, Taylor. We should have gone home; she’d be alive now if we’d just…” His shoulders heaved. “I should have stopped you.”

The clench on Taylor’s heart tightened. He was right. Of course, he was right.

“Arrgh… I’m sorry. It’s not fair to heap it on you.” Sean clapped Taylor on the shoulder. “You’ve been nothing but heroic through all of this. You were always the glue that held us together. I just… I sometimes wish I’d never got on that damn plane. No one would be saved, but… I’d have been there. I’d have been able to hold her when the end came… I owed her that much.”

Taylor pulled him into a tight hug. It was how she dealt with everything these days. Just keep hugging, and maybe everyone would stop hurting. It didn’t work. She’d been in denial. There was only one way to heal the hurt that had been done. It had been a long time coming, but it was finally sinking in.

Wiping away his sweat and tears with his hand, Sean let himself be embraced. Some days... some days were just unbearable. “I might sit this one out… you don’t mind? I hate to let you guys down…”

“Are you serious? You’re not made of stone. You need to let yourself feel this, to work through it.” Taylor rubbed Sean’s arm, and looked up to him with a small, kind smile. “Talk to someone… someone who gets it. You know you can’t look after anyone else if you don’t care for yourself first.”

Sean gave Taylor’s arm a loving little punch. “For someone who’s only a few months old, it’s amazing the wisdom you come out with.”

“I try.”

Taylor looked up at the sound of splashing, and saw Jake and Craig crashing into the water. “Huh, guess everyone’s taking a break anyway.”

Estela approached, pulling her shirt over her head.

“Hey, gorgeous.” Taylor gave her a peck on the cheek.

“Hey. Do you want to come cool off? Muscles over there had the bright idea for us to show him how to fight. You look like you need a laugh.”

Taylor shook her head apologetically. “I think I’m gonna call it a day. Not feeling so great.”

Estela studied her face with concern, a finger stroking to Taylor’s chin. “You look pale. Do you want me to get you anything?”

“Nah- just gonna sleep until I don’t feel so shitty.” She didn’t think she could handle having Estela around her… not when what she was contemplating amounted to betrayal. “I think some quiet time on my own would do me good. I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.” Estela kissed Taylor’s temple, slowly, tenderly. Something… something didn’t feel right. Honestly, it had been a few days coming. Every now and then, Taylor would get so distant… not like Taylor at all. Had she been feeling ill, or…? Right now, it looked as though she might burst into tears. “Taylor… if you need me… even just to hold you; we don’t have to talk if it’s too much… I’m right here. Always.”

Taylor nuzzled in against Estela’s neck, taking in the comfort of her scent, the feel of her. If she could just hide from the world, snuggled up away from all the pain she’d caused, just her and Estela, she’d do it. The shadows had simply crept too far in; there was no more hiding. “You old softy,” she mumbled. “Go on- go kick Craig’s ass. For me.”

 

* * *

 

 

Pulling the curtains closed, Taylor was relieved to be alone, hidden from all the people she’d let down. She fumbled, and realised she was shaking. The guilt was suffocating… she couldn’t fight it any longer. Before she knew what was happening, she was curled up in bed, crying piteously. She had to go…  _she had to go_. How could she ever have been so foolish to think she could escape what she truly was? She’d never been the same as her friends -her  _family-_ and she never could be. How dare she say that she loved them, when she’d stripped them of everything their lives had been... all they could ever could be? Naïve, they looked at her as a hero, someone who’d move heaven and earth for them. It was all a sick, twisted lie. Taylor had been so caught up in her need for them, the eleven people who’d made her the person she was, that she’d almost believed it.

The swooping feeling in her stomach became violent, and Taylor had to rush to the bathroom to vomit. Fear clenched at her gut. What she faced was losing everything; everything that made her the person she was, every single person she loved, everything familiar. She sat, trembling, on the bathroom floor, her breaths becoming frantic. She thought of her friends. They were her whole world. But they had so much more. She’d seen their futures, felt their hope, and she couldn’t deny them that any longer. Craig deserved to see his little brother grow up, to be the role model she knew he was, even if he didn’t believe it himself. Michelle deserved to reach her far horizon, to reap the rewards of her sheer dedication, to be the heroine Taylor knew she was. Quinn… Diego… their families splintered… it should not have ended like that; she should never have let that happen. Raj and Sean had their own stars to reach, and they’d do it, make their loved ones so proud. Tears streaming down her face, Taylor lurched over the toilet bowl, sick once more.

_I’ve gotta… I’ve gotta do it. Leave._

Then she thought of Estela, and her heart ached. She’d lost too damn much. On a knife’s edge from losing her own humanity, she’d found a new truth in Taylor’s arms. Taylor had promised her a life of love and devotion, a life of peace that she’d never known, a future she’d never need face alone. Vaanu had made a liar out of Taylor. A liar to the person whose heart she swore she’d never break. The reality hit Taylor like a ton of bricks, and she finally lost all control, hyperventilating, sobbing, feeling as though she’d drown in the hatred she felt for herself.

It was an hour or so later when the door opened, a beam of light entering the dark room. Estela was struck by the gloom, and the fact that Taylor was not, as she’d expected, asleep in bed.

“…Taylor…?  _Cariña_ , are you all right?” She crept into the bathroom, her heart thundering, and found Taylor slumped over the toilet. “Have you been sick?” No response. “I can get Michelle for you.”

Taylor shook her head and messily wiped her bloodshot eyes. “I don’t wanna see anyone right now.” She felt a pair of strong arms around her and the guilt intensified. Then Estela was rubbing her back, murmuring soft words of comfort that were too faint to make out.

A gentle whisper against her ear. “I’ve got you,  _mi amor_ …” Estela placed a kiss between Taylor’s shoulders. She was so tense, her eyes looked glazed over, she was almost… almost unrecognisable. “Taylor…do you feel sick? Do you wanna go back to bed?”

Without saying anything, Taylor wobbled to her feet, and let Estela lead her to the bed and tuck her in. The deep concern in that beautiful scarred face was difficult to look at.  _If she only knew…_

After a while, Estela reluctantly left to join the others for dinner. Taylor had assured her that she needn’t bring back food for her, she’d only be sick again, anyhow. There had been no pushing to get at what the problem was, which was appreciated. To actually say the words… even the thought was enough to send Taylor spiralling once again. 

Estela knew, though, that there was only really one thing that could have sent Taylor into such despair. So many times she’d held Taylor as she’d cried into her chest, wracked with guilt and self-doubt. On occasion, she’d even voiced that horrifying thought… “ _maybe I need to accept what I am and leave… maybe I’ve gotta let you all go.”_  Eating dinner surrounded by friends, Estela had little appetite. She could tell herself that the reason she didn’t pry too far into what was wrong was simply that she didn’t want her wife to feel pressured, but it was more than that. The cold dread in the pit of her stomach told her exactly what was causing Taylor such distress. Estela didn’t want to hear her say it, to give confirmation that their life together, the happiness she once thought she’d never have, was going to be shattered. To have just a few more hours of sweet denial… to almost believe that she might have a future with the woman she loved… she couldn’t let it go.

She returned to the pitch-black room and placed down a small plate on the table. There was only silence; Taylor lay beneath the covers, not stirring. Quietly, Estela undressed and climbed in beside her, lying close, but refraining from putting an arm around her as she usually would, not wanting to wake her when she was feeling so unwell.

“I love you, Taylor,” she whispered.

Her eyes closed, Taylor pretended to sleep. She heard a sniff and realised that Estela was crying. Every instinct told her to hold her, to kiss away her tears, but any amount of comfort offered would be dishonest.  _I’m so sorry, my love. I’m just so sorry._

* * *

 

 

The new day dawned, and the certainty of what Taylor had to do redoubled. She curled up, fighting in vain to loosen the iron first that clenched around her heart. The tears kept coming. Realisation… it hurt so much. Estela put her arm around her, but she shrugged it away. Knowing what she had to do, the distance would be kinder. She didn’t know how she could even look her wife in the eye. Her  _wife_ … if Taylor had known, how could she have ever made that promise?

“You need space… okay.” Estela respectfully edged away and sat up in bed. She looked over Taylor, eyebrows knitted with worry. The slow dawning left an ache creeping into her soul. The lie they’d told themselves… the future, the family they’d have together, the happiness they’d share; it was crumbling. Totally lost, Estela could only stare into space. She couldn’t accept it… this couldn’t be happening… it couldn’t…

The morning passed slowly, not a word said. There was so much that couldn’t be put into words. Words would never be enough, would never make it bearable. Taylor felt like a monster. Trapped between enabling a world that was no world at all and shattering the life of the person who was  _her_ whole world, she couldn’t move for causing agony to the people she cared about. A knock on the door echoed through the heavy silence. Neither woman responded.

“Hey, Taylor,” came Diego’s voice, “everything all right?”

Taylor rubbed her eyes dry, sat up, and tried to collect herself. “Yeah, fine. Just wiped out after yesterday’s hike, that’s all.” Another lie.

“Sorry, guess I finally broke her,” Estela said, playing along. “I’ll make sure she gets some rest, okay?”

“Can I come in?”

Taylor snapped before she could help herself. “I  _told_  you. I’m exhausted- just leave me alone and let me get some sleep.”

“Are you---?”

“ _God, Diego!_ When are you gonna grow up and stop following me around like some lovesick puppy?”

Immediately, she felt utterly sick. There was silence on the other side of the door. “Diego- I…” But he’d already backed away. Taylor swallowed, fighting the lump that had formed in her throat. She could feel Estela was staring at her, thunderstruck. “Maybe… maybe you should go too. I’m not much fun to be around right now. I need to be on my own.”

Estela got up slowly, never taking her eyes off Taylor, who curled back into a ball. It was like looking at a stranger, and it scared her half to death. “I’m going. But I won’t be far, if you need anything.” She paused at the door. “I love you. No matter what, I love you.”

Taylor had to bite back sobs. She waited until the door was closed once more before whispering, “I love you too…” and then broke down in tears.

Leaning against the other side of the door, Estela wept.

Taylor lay in bed, despondent, unable to do a thing save for stare into space, lost in heartache. The sky darkened, and it occurred to her that she hadn’t moved for an entire day. Surely, by now, people would be asking after her. She wasn’t ready to face anyone, to answer questions, and hoped that Diego had put out a warning that she needed space.  _Shit, poor Diego._ Every now and then, she’d think she heard movements in the hall outside, but she remained undisturbed. In spite of her intention to remain disconnected, she yearned to be near to Estela. Unable to take it any longer, she walked unsteadily towards the door, hoping that she’d stayed close. Taylor pushed the door ajar, and Estela was right there, leaning against the wall, her knees tucked up against her chest.

Taylor’s voice was weak, grief and guilt getting the better of her. “Have… have you been there all day?”

“I’m worried about you, Taylor. How the hell could I not be? This… isn’t you.”

“I know… it’s just…” Taylor sighed heavily. She couldn’t hide anymore. It was pointless to try. Estela was no fool; she knew exactly what was wrong. Pushing her away… it wasn’t making it easier, if anything, it was worse. “You know what it is. And I wish I could tell you it’s not what you think…”

“Don’t. Don’t go. Please.” Estela’s voice trembled with quiet desperation, with anguish. Her eyes wide and brimming with tears, she searched Taylor’s face for the reassurance that couldn’t come. 

Taylor’s breath caught in her throat. Estela’s pleas hit her like a knife twisting in her chest. No words could make this better… make it hurt any less. Words weren’t needed anyway. She slumped to the floor and pulled Estela into her arms. The tears came easily, and they cried together, bodies convulsing in agony. When they could cry no more, they sat in silence, hand in hand, taking strength from one another. 

“Estela, I…”

“Don’t apologize.” Estela’s lip trembled. “I wish you wouldn’t do this, but… I’m gonna be behind you, taking you wherever you need to go…” She gave a small, dry sob. “…even if it means the end.”

Taylor looked into that face… those intense eyes… her Estela. A stronger force of nature she’d never encounter. The woman who’d once told her that she’d burn the whole world for her… and yet she couldn’t offer the same. For Taylor, Estela had been willing to choose a different path, to abandon her quest for vengeance. She came through for her without question. “I love you.  _I love you_ … I love you. I don’t want it to be like this… I don’t wanna go. I wanna be with you… I just… I love you so much.”

“I know. And I know you wouldn’t if you thought there was another way… but our life, Taylor… we were gonna be so happy… you and me…” Estela exhaled slowly. The pain was almost unbearable, but she was well-practiced in channelling her emotion into achieving what needed to be done. Right now, Taylor was in pieces; she needed her. “I love you too,” she said quietly, lacing her fingers with Taylor’s, giving a reassuring squeeze. “I know you know that. Come on; you should eat something. I’ll go raid the kitchen and then I’ll be right back, okay?”

A gentle kiss to her fingers made Taylor’s eyes well once more. She watched Estela walk away and took a deep breath. In a horrible way, it felt as though a weight had been lifted from her chest, one that had been growing heavier and heavier. The price to be paid was… everything. In her heart of hearts, she’d always known that it had to happen. Sooner or later, she’d have to accept the responsibility she had to everyone she loved, even those who’d rather she wouldn’t. Her mind was made up now, and she needed to make the time count. First thing the next day, she’d have to tell Diego how truly sorry she was, how she’d been lashing out at the world, not at him.

Taylor crept back into the room, greeted by the cat with a deep ‘ _mow’_. She crawled under the covers, squeezing her eyes shut while the kitten rubbed faces with her. “Ugh, thanks, girl. Not really in the mood, but thanks.” Despairing, she focused her mind, reaching out.

_“Vaanu… I can make you whole… you can leave.”_

She felt the voice that returned to her throughout her body. _“You will return to your source and all will be healed. I have missed your presence in me.”_

Taylor felt ill. She was a human being. A human. Being. Vaanu didn’t understand; they couldn’t.  _“Is there a way… I- I’m not the same being I was when you created me. I’m not all you. I’m also… I’m also_ them.  _Can’t you just, just take the part of me that’s you? The human in me… what good is it to you anyway?”_

Silence for a long while, then Vaanu spoke to her again.  _“Your life force is not of this world. What you have become… is neither truly of one world or the other… but that which keeps you living, is the piece of my soul.”_

_“So… if you tried to separate your being from me, I would… die?”_

_“It is impossible to say for certain… after all, the future cannot be known. You have grown rooted in human form, built from your experiences, your bonds. It is a significant part of your being, but, I believe, not enough to sustain. Should I leave you, death would be the likely outcome.”_

_Likely._ Taylor held onto the word, feeling a glimmer of hope. A way out. A gamble. A chance that might be immeasurably small, but a chance all the same.  _“But it might be… possible?”_

The voice that Taylor felt vibrate through her was sad.  _“There is a chance you could survive as a human, free from my spirit. It is your choice. Only you can force the separation. I would not wish to see you perish.”_

Death did not feel a great risk. Being taken away, an infinity away from everything she was, that was no different to death in her eyes. If she was to die, she would die as a human, as she saw herself.

“ _I will return what is yours,”_ she said, resolutely.  _“In time. You have my word, and I won’t break it. I’ve just gotta be ready. I’ve got promises I’ve made to people- I won’t break my word to them either.”_

Vaanu’s presence slowly vanished, and Taylor tuned back in to her surroundings. Estela was still not back. Even after a few minutes, she missed her. It was amazing how precious each second felt when one knew their lifespan was limited. Quickly, the longing became intense, and it was only the dread of running into anyone else that stopped her from following. Taylor took the cat, Madam, in her arms and stared expectantly at the door.

Finally, it creaked open. “Hey…” Estela tried to smile, but the effect was rather lopsided. It wasn’t as if she was fooling anyone anyway.

“Hey…” Taylor reached out her hand, desperate to feel her, to touch her.

Estela took Taylor’s hand in her own and sat beside her on the bed with a kiss to her forehead. “I managed to find some spiced meats. That way if you need to cry, you can blame it on the food- it’s hot.”

“Or you’re getting revenge on me by melting my poor face off?”

“You got me.” Estela laughed, though how she could not be sure- delirious probably. She hadn’t felt so desperately sad since… since her mother… and yet Taylor could still make her smile. But even the fleeting light-heartedness was painful, for it was a reminder of all that would soon be lost. With the heaviest of sighs, Estela lay back in the bed, her head against Taylor’s lap. “You eat it. I’m not so hungry right now.”

“You haven’t eaten all day…”

“I haven’t been hungry all day.”

Madam padded across the bed and sniffed at the meat. As the scent hit her nose, she gave an angry hiss.

Taylor looked at the plate with trepidation before cautiously digging in. “ _Holy fu-_ “ She spat a mouthful onto the floor. “Hot!  _Hot!”_

“Oh, you baby! Here, I’ll help you.” Estela picked up a darker piece. “Try this; these don’t have as much bite.”

“And you couldn’t have just told me that?” Taylor felt her mouth burn as she chewed, but at least it wasn’t inedible. She breathed heavily. It wasn’t as though she had much appetite anyhow. Having eaten a small fill, she draped herself over Estela’s chest, her fingers tracing the tattoo she’d had there. The Andromeda sigil. The chain… a chain that tied Taylor to another world, one that was not theirs. The rise and fall of Estela’s chest, the steady heartbeat; it was all so calming, as were the kisses that peppered her face. More than anything, Taylor wished they could remain like this forever. She could dream… she could hope… that maybe that chain represented something else; something holding her to earth, to her friends, to who she truly was. Her eyelids were so heavy they had become painful; she couldn’t think about it any longer.

 “…Estela-baby… I know it’s early, but you don’t mind if I get some sleep? I’m just… wrecked.”

“You’re not the only one…” Estela sighed, playing with a strand of her love’s hair. She didn’t know how she’d ever sleep, not with her worst fear realised before her… but by god was she tired.

Taylor sat up and undressed herself, her movements ungainly in her weariness. She felt an affectionate gaze upon her naked form, and it made her blush. Without saying a word, Estela could always make her feel beautiful, and so, so loved.

Having switched off the light, Estela slipped out of her clothes and crawled into bed beside Taylor. The feel of her bare skin was soothing in its intimacy. She nestled in close, spooning her, arms wrapped possessively around her chest. Her sweet Taylor… there was nobody on the face of the earth stronger of heart, nor anyone braver. She could hold onto her Taylor forever. She cursed Vaanu, who’d created her soulmate, only to cruelly rip her away. To put the world on one person’s shoulders… it had been torture, and the thought filled Estela with fury. Taylor had  _never_ deserved that kind of burden. Vaanu did not care for her; they  _certainly_  did not love her. There was not a damn thing Estela could do… not a thing, except to surround her wife, her partner, her sunshine, with all the love she needed to keep her putting one foot in front of the other. She stroked Taylor’s side, her arm, her face, kissing the soft skin on her neck and shoulder, watching as emotional exhaustion finally got the better of her. Then, with no one awake to hear her, Estela cried herself to sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Taylor woke late that night to a wet shoulder and hands clenched around her chest in an iron grip. She put her arms around Estela’s and gave her a gentle squeeze. “I love you,” she whispered, silently cursing the words for being so woefully inadequate.

“I love you,” Estela murmured into Taylor’s hair. “If I could go with you…”

“I know… I know.” A tear trickled down Taylor’s cheek as she turned to face her wife. She looked so small, so vulnerable, so unlike herself. It just wasn’t  _fair_. Every bone in her body told her that  _this_ was what she existed for… to be Estela’s person, her soulmate. Their love could not be undone by two thousand twists of time, and yet they were to be forced a world apart. Taylor couldn’t accept it. She’d die, drained of Vaanu’s spirit before she’d let herself leave. Her heart belonged to her friends. Her heart belonged to Estela. There was no doubt in her mind now; she had to try and stay, even if it cost her life.

She whispered, her eyes locked with Estela’s, wishing she could offer some reassurance. “I’m gonna fight it, okay? Vaanu can take what they need but… I would rather die as me than go on as something else, somewhere else. I’ve seen Vaanu’s world… I don’t belong there.”

Estela’s stomach turned to ice. “Taylor… Taylor, you can’t just let yourself die.”

Taylor touched her forehead against her wife’s, and felt the tears come faster. “What’s the difference? I wouldn’t be me anymore. At least there might be a chance… maybe I’d be totally broken, but if it meant I was alive... that I could be with you...? If there was the smallest chance in the world…”

Estela’s hand wrapped around Taylor’s head, cradling her, stroking her damp hair. She didn’t dare feel hope. “You always stood by me, whatever path I chose. I know you were scared for me.” She closed her eyes, feeling Taylor’s breath against her face, ragged with emotion. “I promise, I will never,  _never_ leave you. But be sure… You’re the brightest light in this world… something like that, it shouldn’t be destroyed.”

Pressing a kiss, soft, full of feeling, against Estela’s lips, Taylor had no doubt in her mind. “Then I’m gonna have to be strong to survive this.”

Estela returned the kiss, and hoped that the fear that raged through her didn’t show in her eyes as they flickered open. The most important question, the one she couldn’t bear to speak, finally forced its way to the surface. “How long…?”

“I, um, I want to wait a little while. I dunno if it’s gonna make it harder or easier… I just… I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t think _we’re_ ready. I promised you a year and a day… and I would never,  _ever_ go back on that word to you. So, I guess… after that…” Taylor winced. How strange it was to be so matter-of-fact, planning a date as if it was just any other event. Again, Estela had closed her eyes tight; distress was radiating off her. “It’s never gonna be enough. I’m so sorry.”

“Every day with you is more than I ever thought possible.” Estela’s voice wavered and cracked. “I should be grateful. I  _am_ , but… how the hell do I face the days that come after?”

Taylor bit her lip as a lump rose in her throat. “We’ve gotta believe that it won’t be the end. You made a fighter out of me, and I will fight to stay. They say that after a year and a day after handfasting, our spirits will be joined forever. I don’t care if it’s clutching at straws- I’ve gotta believe it makes a difference. I believe in  _us_ , ‘Stel.”

Estela kissed her deeply, hanging onto the feeling as if it was all that was keeping her going. Life had shattered her belief in so much… but in Taylor… in the love they shared… her faith could not be shaken.

They held one another through the night, but a breath apart. Sleep did not come easily, with each drifting off in fits and starts. It was the beginning of a new way of living, one with a deadline hanging over them ominously, a dark cloud that could not be escaped. In the arms of one another, though, they had just enough sunlight, enough hope, to stay alive.


	2. A Year and a Day

Catalyst Village, now complete and already showing weathering, was alive with the scents of tropical fruits, spices and meats. Smoke rose into the air from Raj’s central outdoor kitchen, drawing in Vaanti from nearby Elyys’tel. It was nearing sundown, and drinks were flowing. The anniversary of Rourke’s defeat, of the saving of La Huerta, had brought about festivities on a scale that the island had rarely seen. For the Catalysts, the occasion was tinged with melancholy. A year had passed since they’d said goodbye to their families, their futures, their homes, for the final time.

 Taylor, up on the roof of one of the wooden houses, took a breather from decorating the place with glowing flowers. She scanned the surroundings, looking out for the arrival of Aleister and Grace, who’d been away overnight after their handfasting. No sign of them yet. With cat-like grace and balance, Estela wandered over to her side of the roof.

“You think that’s enough?” she asked, sitting down so that her chest was against Taylor’s back.

  As much as Taylor wanted the house perfect for when the newlyweds returned to it, time was of the essence. She gave the place another glance over. “I guess it’ll do,” she said. It wasn’t _quite_ as magnificently decked out as the place she shared with Estela, but it was sufficiently decorated to properly honour Vaanti handfasting tradition. “Besides, I think we’ve earned ourselves a couple of beers by now.”

 She descended from the roof slowly, knowing that she lacked her wife’s surefootedness. As she reached the ground, Estela took her in her arms and held her tight. At her touch, she felt a heavy guilt for what she had to do, so frighteningly soon. “Hey… are you… are you holding up all right?”

 Estela’s smile didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m trying to forget about it,” she said. “Today should be happy. You deserve that much. I’ll save my tears for if I need them, but right now, I’ve got you by my side.”

 They touched foreheads, taking a moment before joining the party.

 Taylor exhaled loudly and took Estela’s hand in her own. “Okay,” she said shakily. “Let’s do this.”

 

* * *

 

 

 A cold beer in hand, Taylor wandered onto the sand towards Diego, who’d been roped into a traditional Vaanti dance. He was a part of Varyyn’s world now, fluent in Vaanti and living a bi-cultural existence. It had been hard sometimes. As deeply as he was in love with Varyyn, he could not totally belong with him. Diego couldn’t stand to be set apart from his friends, whom he treasured in a way that someone who had not endured years of loneliness could ever understand. Especially Taylor.

 Getting his legs in a tangle, Diego was about to fall face-first into the sand when Taylor caught him, slopping beer down his front and giggling in the process. Taari, dancing wildly nearby, gave a shout of laughter.

 “You’re a funny dancer, Da-yaygo!”

“Oof!” said Diego, clutching his heart, pretending to be deeply hurt.

“Aw, don’t worry, buddy,” laughed Taylor, “we know the Time Warp’s more your speed.”

Diego wandered back towards the main gathering with Taylor, watching wistfully as Varyyn jumped and stamped in perfect time with a large group of revelling villagers. “I don’t think there’s enough alcohol in the world to make me dance like that…”

“We should have got Varyyn in on our Dance Fighting Showdown last week. He would have rocked it!”

Craig’s ears pricked up. “Wait- are we doing that again? Now? Chyeeeeeeeaaah, boi! This time it’s in the bag!”

Taylor scoffed. “Last time you ended up with a black eye. And you hurled into a ceremonial horn.”

“I don’t remember that?”

 Diego shuddered. “How? You’ve still got a hint of purple in the right light. Anyway, I chickened out last time, and I’ll do it again. Somehow Estela’s even more terrifying when you put her to music…”

“Yeah, we’re not drinking enough to be up for part two. Some other time, though, Craig.”

“Whaaat? This is meant to be one of the biggest rages of the year! If you don’t have your head in the toilet by the end of the night, you’re doing it wrong.”

 They joined Raj and Zahra at the main bar. Undeterred, Craig continued to press his case with a glass raised.

“Dance fighting tournament- part two. _Who’s in_?”

Zahra shrugged. “It’s a toss-up. Watching you dance might actually destroy my remaining will to live. But it was almost worth it when you got destroyed by a girl half your size. Eh. I could go either way.”

 Raj downed another drink- already he’d stopped bothering to count- and shook his head. “Doodlebugs, these things have gotta happen naturally. You can’t force a dance fighting tournament. Just keep drinking, and the night will decide.”

“Well, I don’t think I’m gonna be feeling it tonight…”

“Taylor, bro, you need another drink! You’re feeling sad? Nothing a little booze won’t fix! You want to celebrate the fact that we’re not all dead? Getting drunk’s good for that too!”

 Diego looked at Craig in amazement. “You know… I honestly can’t fault that logic.”

 Raj beamed as he poured out a glass for Diego. “Nothing like booze to bring out the inner genius!”

 “Craig has an inner _what?”_ Zahra’s eyes grew wide. “Raj, what the hell _are_ you smoking?”

 Taylor shook her head. “Sorry, guys. I’m pacing myself. Someone’s gotta keep their head screwed on.”

“ _Boooooo!_ ”

 

* * *

 

 

 Estela splashed down into the shallows, knocked aside by a swift kick.

“You’re _way_ off your game, Katniss.” Jake smirked, but offered her a hand to get up.

Shaking water from her hair as she got back to her feet, Estela knew he was right. Her head was all over the place. She’d always known where she was going… even if the destination wasn’t pretty. The uncertainty of what was to come made her anxious. All she could think to do was to try and release some of the tension from her body so she could be the support Taylor needed, but she was just too distracted to keep up. She huffed, her face set in a stony frown. “You know you’re having a bad day when the damn flyboy can keep up…”

She made to block the hits, one after the other, but her heart wasn’t in it. Her mind took her back to the day before the siege on the Celestial, when she’d taught Taylor to fight. A natural, Taylor had knocked her off her feet by the end of the lesson. It was small wonder she became infatuated so fast…

There was a dull _thwack_ followed by a splash, and once again, she was down. Her frustration growing, Estela hauled herself back up, and she panted to catch her breath back. She steadied herself, and looked at Jake, already squaring up for another round. She tried to imagine him as the embodiment of the entity that was determined to rip the best part of her life away from her. Emotion bubbling up inside her, she let go of her better judgement and threw aside her usual defensive approach. She launched herself at Jake with a whirl of fists, taking him by surprise. The change of tactics was enough to put him on the back foot, and her unrelenting onslaught of punches gave little room for recovery. Within seconds, and with an indignant yell, he was slammed into the water.

“I yield! I yield!” Jake cried, as the punches kept coming. “ _Hey!”_ He managed to grab hold of Estela’s wrist and pulled her down into the water. ‘Take it easy…”

Estela panted heavily, coming out of a trance-like state. “Sorry… my head’s all screwed up today…”

Jake sat up and rubbed his head, where he’d received a particularly hard whack. “Thinking about your _tio_?”

“Something like that.” Sitting in the shallow water, she pulled her knees to her chest. “Mike?”

“Yeah. Runnin’ through my head all day.”

They sat in silence for a little while. It was bizarre to be celebrating the anniversary of one of the most traumatic days of their lives. Estela knew, though, that her worst pain was still to come. Hiding behind the grief this day brought up in all of them, she could brood without suspicion.

 Jake clapped her on the shoulder. “Right, I think we better get a few more drinks down ya. Pretty sure it’s the only way we’re gettin’ through tonight.”

 Estela huffed. “Sad, but true.” She stood up and gave him a playful kick, knocking him sideways. Jake could act the arrogant ass, but he _got_ her. If there was anyone she might have confided in about what was coming, it would have been him. “All right. Drinks are on you, _cabron_.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 Tucked behind a narrow strip of tropical vegetation, two of the party sat apart from the main group, watching the sun dip below the horizon, leaving behind the ominous glow that had become so familiar.

 Michelle sighed deeply but found herself comforted by Quinn’s delicate touch to the back of her neck. “It would be so beautiful if we didn’t know what it was…”

 In the burning light, Quinn’s hair took an otherworldly glow. She looked out to sea. “I guess most things are beautiful from the right angle. That line on the horizon… that’s the bubble keeping us safe. A miracle. It can’t bring back what we’ve lost, but… the people we love who are here, they’re safe. You’re safe. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you, Michelle. I hope you can be happy, somehow.”

Michelle rested her head on Quinn’s shoulder and snuggled in. “I’ve always been so focused on the destination. If I couldn’t make it- what was the point?” She sighed. “Losing it all… I thought it was gonna break me. After Sean… after what the girls did… I didn’t think I could risk my heart again. But with you… it doesn’t feel like a risk. You make me feel unafraid; of love, of the future, whatever it might be. You made me realise how precious every moment is.” She sat up straight, and leant Quinn’s sweet face towards hers with a gentle touch of her finger. “And I want to spend every single one with you.”

 Quinn’s face shone with a smile as warm as sunshine. “Oh, ‘Chelle… I want that too- more than anything. You are the strongest, most compassionate person I know. I guess… what I’m trying to say is… I love you.”

 Heat rising in her cheeks, Michelle closed the distance between them, her lips brushing tenderly against Quinn’s, then helplessly falling deeper into a passionate kiss.

 There was a crash of vegetation, and Taylor stepped through the undergrowth. Michelle hastily backed up, her cheeks now a flaming scarlet.

“Crap!” Taylor cried, “I think I’m interrupting…”

 “It’s fine! It’s fine.” Michelle quickly tidied her hair. As much as she loved Taylor, good as a sister to her, she really didn’t need an audience while she was trying to come to grips with a new side of herself.

Quinn was still beaming and couldn’t hold back a giggle at the look on Taylor’s face. “I guess it’s kinda rude for us to sneak away from the party like this.”

“Hey, I’ll leave you guys to it…” Getting over her surprise, Taylor was now near gleeful, her ship sailing at last. In her giddiness, she almost forgot what was coming. Almost. “I just came by to tell you that Aleister and Grace were back from their honeymoon. But I want to spend some time with you both soon. It’s really, _really_ important to me.”

“Of course.”

 Michelle averted eye contact, not knowing why she was so embarrassed. It wasn’t as if _Taylor_ of all people was going to judge her for kissing a girl. Stupid insecurities, stupid old fears from the world they’d left behind, one that was often not nearly so accepting. “We’re just coming o-“ _Shit. Did I really almost just say ‘coming out’?_ “-coming over to join you guys now anyway.”

 As Taylor slipped back into the bushes, Michelle turned back to Quinn, her eyes full of earnest affection, and she mouthed, “ _I love you too_.”

Quinn placed a little kiss on her sweetheart’s forehead. “We’ll continue this later.” With a cheeky wink, she took Michelle’s hand and they followed Taylor back into the thick of the action.

 As the three of them emerged back into the seaside hub, a cheer rang out.

Raj raised a colourful cocktail in the air. “Finally, we’ve got the whole fam together! This calls for a toast, doodlejumps!”

 Sean stepped forward, standing tall, towering over all save for Varyyn and with the presence of a proud leader. “It’s been a crazy year. We’ve built something, and it’s not what any of us would have imagined, but it’s our life now, and I think we have everything to be proud of. When I look back, and I remember those _stupid_ times Jake and I were about to knock ten bells out of each other… it’s hard to believe how far we’ve come. Together.”

Even as emotion crashed over her like a wave, Taylor couldn’t hold back a laugh. “I’m pretty sure someone would have just murdered the both of you just to keep the peace if Raj hadn’t come to the rescue.”

Estela gave Jake a teasing prod. Several beers down, and the tension had eased just enough for her to _try_ to get some enjoyment from the gathering. “I’m not sorry I missed out on all the testosterone tantrums. You two had _mostly_ grown up by the time I came back around.”

“Huh,” said Diego, “I’d almost forgotten we hardly saw you in the first week. But it was so different back then… Taylor was the only person I really knew how to talk to. If we met each other any other way, there’s no way most of us would be friends.”

Guiltily, Michelle avoided eye contact. Her social circle had certainly changed, but only for the better. “I can’t even _imagine_ hanging out with the bitchy cliques I got so caught up in. I had no idea what I was missing. And all that time my so-called ‘friends’ were screwing with my life, I there was the real thing right there on campus.”

“Hey, you had me!” Craig interjected. “And Raj! And Sean until it all went down the crapper.”

“ _Thanks_ Craig. Really. All right, I had you. But even then I didn’t, you know, appreciate it? And it was different then- you were a total ass, but you had status.”

“Raj is the same,” Sean said, clapping his old friend on the back. “Same old, life of the party, high on who knows what, almost alarmingly wise old Raj. But even then, I think we all underestimated the culinary genius.” He raised his glass again. “So, back to the toast. And I think the host should get the honours.”

“Well, we’ve got it pretty good here. And I don’t think we’ll need a peace feast ever again. Because we were together, we found second chances, found love, found some of the trippiest shit I’ve seen before ten in the morning. We came through it all, all of us, like the family we are.”

 Zahra retched. “This is getting way too Hallmark card…”

“Here’s to us- dudes, dudettes, we made it!”

“ _To us!”_

 Taylor bit her lip, determined to hold back her emotions, even as Grace, glowing and radiant after her honeymoon, pulled her into a hug. She smiled, even while her heart was breaking.

“Don’t look so sad,” Grace said sweetly, offering Taylor another delicate fruit pastry. “I know it’s a strange day for everyone, but it’s okay. As long as we’re all together, we can make any day happy.”

 “Sorry, don’t let me rain on your parade. I’ve been trying to kick the blues but, you know… it gets heavy. I’m gonna have to hear about your special night away, though, _that_ will cheer me up.”

Grace beamed. “I’m just going to go and get my signature cocktail- apparently it’s different to the one Raj cooked up when I first got here. I must have grown!”

“Grace, you grow more brilliant, brave and just plain bitchin’ every day. No mixer could keep up with that, but good on Raj for trying.”

With an appreciative giggle, Grace left Taylor, who took shelter away from the rowdy crowd. She felt Estela’s hand slip into her own, and her anxieties bubble to the surface.

 Taylor looked into her wife’s lovely face, simultaneously offering and seeking reassurance. “You okay?”

“Nope. You?”

“Not really, no.”

They embraced, lingering on the edge of the group, alone with their secret.

Taylor discreetly wiped a tear from her eye. “I wish I could say goodbye.”

“You don’t need to. Just… tell them you love them. There’s nothing else you need to say.” Estela brought Taylor’s fingers to her lips and kissed them, as the music jumped in volume and coloured lights began to flash around the hillside. “Taylor… get out there and have the night you deserve.”

“Fake it ‘til you make it, right?”

“If I can sit through Diego explaining _Doctor Who_ timelines to us without looking like I want to stab him, I’m sure this’ll be a cakewalk for you.”

“Well, if you put it that way…”

Hitting the dance floor, Taylor was taken aback by just how easily it could feel like just another party. Everything was _normal_. No one treated her any differently, because, of course, they had no idea what she was planning. She suspected that the deceptively strong cocktail she’d knocked back was helping, but she simply couldn’t stop herself from having a good time. Hands linked with Quinn and Diego, she jumped and swayed to a bouncing rhythm, with Michelle and Grace completing the chain. From opposing sides of the little circle, Quinn and Michelle would shoot one another secret smiles, not quite discreet enough to escape Taylor’s notice. As the party ramped up, the chain expanded, with Craig throwing himself into the mix, and Grace managing to convince a pleasantly tipsy Aleister to join in. Even Zahra was hanging around close to the dance floor, sitting, glass in hand, just far enough away to avoid being stepped on by one of the inebriated revellers. 

 “And here I thought watching Craig dance would finish you. Looks to me like you can’t drag yourself away…”

“Taylor, I’ve been going since breakfast. There’s more alcohol in my body than blood at this point. I doubt I could walk away if I tried.’

Craig took her in his arms as she flailed with an utter lack of coordination. “Come on, Z, you _love iiit!_ ” He picked her up and swung her through the air, ignoring the cries of protest.

“ _Put me down!”_

Throwing her arms around Estela’s neck, Taylor held her close and swayed, a huge grin on her face. Slowly, she eased her love into the dance, until they moved together in time to the pulsing beat. She felt Estela relax around her, movements becoming fluid and effortlessly graceful.

“Looks like you do a pretty good impression of enjoying yourself too,” she whispered against Estela’s ear, smirking as she smiled helplessly in response.

“You dance like a drowning turkey, it was my duty as your wife to save you.”

Taylor broke into uncontrollable giggles and collapsed into Estela’s shoulder, which soon bounced with laughter that couldn’t be suppressed. It felt so good… it felt _incredible_ to just have fun, letting go of what couldn’t be changed. For this short, sweet time, there was no fear.

“Come on,” Taylor cried, jumping at Estela with slightly-drunken glee. “Dip me! Dip me!”

 With an exaggerated sigh, the lithe brunette scooped her close and ducked her quickly into a deep dip that made her shriek with mirth. As they came up, Quinn put her arms around them both.

“Dance with us!” she invited, already tugging them both towards the main group.

A flushed Aleister reached out and took Estela’s hand and awkwardly began to sway with her. “Ah, sister, dearest!”

She gave Grace a look that said quite clearly, _how much as he had?_ , but Grace simply took her other hand and began to sway.

“ _Yippeeee_!” she squealed, hugging Estela’s arm. “Happy family!” She stumbled over thin air and would have fallen on her face were it not for the swift rescue of her sister-in-law.

A dumbstruck expression on her face, Estela rolled with it, but made a mental note to confiscate any further drinks that came the way of Aleister and Grace.

 In no time at all, the whole group was up and dancing -even those who’d needed more than a little encouragement. Taylor was swung round, twirled, dipped and danced almost off her feet. The atmosphere was electric, and the hours passed almost before she could blink. Too fast.

 Midnight came, and with a sinking feeling, Taylor knew it was finally time to let go. To part with her friends one last time. She sat down beside Quinn and Michelle at the edge of the beach, joining them as they looked out to the burning horizon.

“ _This time_ , I’m not interrupting, right? I was very careful.”

 Quinn giggled and put her head on Taylor’s shoulder. “Thank you for your discretion.”

“Joking aside, it’s really nice to see how close you two are- whatever it is. You are two of the most compassionate people I know, and you both deserve to be cared for by someone like that.”

Michelle gave a dry laugh. “Compassionate? Me? You’re doing Quinn a major disservice lumping her with me. I’ve got a tongue like a knife.”

“Yeah, but that’s not the heart of who you are. When one of us is struggling, you’re first to jump in and try and fix everything whether they like it or not.”

 Quinn’s eyes met with Michelle’s, across Taylor who was suddenly invisible between them. “You don’t see it, but it’s there plain to see. You have the biggest heart of anyone I know.”

Feeling as though she might melt on the spot, Michelle bit her lip, momentarily wishing she could hide the red glow in her cheeks, before realising that _to hell with it_ , being vulnerable with the people she loved so much didn’t make her vulnerable at all. Sitting beside the woman she’d been slowly, quietly falling for since they’d built their home on this island, and the courageous leader who’d become a treasured sister, it was just so _comfortable_.

She squeezed Taylor’s arm. “You… wanted to speak with both of us. Is everything okay?”

 Taylor had to concentrate to keep her breath steady. “I just wanted to make sure _you’re_ okay. I mean, this is a celebration, but it’s a day of mourning as well. You lost so much that day. It’s never gonna be the same for me as it is for you, but I need you to know that I care. And that I love you.”

“Oh, Taylor!” Quinn huddled closer. “We’d be blind not to know that. I’m… okay. I don’t now if I’ll ever completely get my head around it; my parents being gone and me being here. My whole life I’d wondered how they’d move on when my Rotterdam’s finally took me. I never could have dreamed that I’d be the one living on.” Seeing the deep sadness in Taylor’s face, she added, “Every day I have is a gift. That hasn’t changed. And now I have so many… with people I love, who I’ll never feel a burden to.”

“You were never a burden.” Michelle spoke with a firm authority. “Not when you were sick, not ever.”

 Agreeing, Taylor nodded resolutely. “You were always our ball of sunshine. And oh my god, did we need that.”

Quinn’s cheeks became a little rosy. “You two are so sweet.”

“And there was Meech doubting it- crazy!”

 Michelle gave a small appreciative laugh. “Fine. I’ll take it.”

“Good,” said Taylor, and she moved to get up, brushing sand from her legs. “Well, with my mushy stuff out the way, I’ll leave you to it.” As she walked away, Quinn and Michelle scooted together, and their arms entwined. She gave them a wink. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Goodnight, Taylor.”

Weaving down the beach, dragging her feet as dread crept up on her, Taylor stopped to say her goodbyes, offering tight, lingering hugs to Raj, then Aleister and Grace, who were crashed out together on the sand.

“You’re done already?” Zahra asked, slumped against the serving table.

 Taylor stooped down for a hug.

“Whaaat? Really? All right, one hug. Just because it’s you.”

“Sorry, I’m a party pooper this time. All sobered up already. I’ll leave you guys to it.”

 Craig lumbered over, wobbling precariously. “Woah… why is the floor moving…? But seriously, Tay, Pa-Tay-to? It’s only just midnight! You can still walk in a straight line! That means we’re not done with you yet.”

Taylor shrugged apologetically. She didn’t _want_ to walk away, but she couldn’t delay facing her fate any longer. She might never again have the nerve. And more than anything, she wanted to give her loved ones their lives back. They deserved nothing less than all the courage she could muster.

“It’s an emotional day, you know? I’m ready to just go home and snuggle with my lady. Sometimes one wedding anniversary night just isn’t enough…”

“Ah, well I won’t keep you from _that_. Have fun, I guess!”

Again, Taylor’s heart broke just a little more at the thought of saying goodbye. She quietened herself, imagining Craig reuniting with his beloved kid brother. “Thanks, Craiggers. You too.” She put her arms around his bulky middle and hugged him tight. “Love ya, dummy! You are so much more amazing than you know…”

“Aw, Tayls, you’re pissed!”

Sean pulled her into a hug next, and she was almost lost in his long, muscular arms. “No she’s not,” he said, “she just cares and she’s not afraid to show it. I think we could all use a bit of that tonight.”

“See? Sean gets it.” Taylor squeezed back. “Since I’m off to bed, you should do the rounds. Giving out hugs, telling everyone how awesome they are, all that jazz. I figured it would be your kind of job.”

“I’m sure I can do that for you,” Sean said with a smile.

 Through the gap in his arms, Taylor caught a glimpse of Jake walking up the beach.

“ _Toooop Guuuuun!!!”_ she hollered. “Come join the love-in!”

_“Priiiinceeeeessss!!!”_ Jake didn’t get much further before being dragged into a hug with Taylor. He gave her a slightly patronising pat on the back as she cuddled close. “So uh… you’re one of those excessively affectionate drunks, huh?”

“Stop ruining my hug with your jerkiness, you jerk. Anyway, I’m pretty sure _Estela’s_ the cuddly drunk. I’m _always_ in hug mode.”

“Your girl Ripley called it a night, by the way. She said to let you know.”

Drawn in by the yelling, Diego’s eyes grew wide. “Hang on- if Estela’s Ripley, and Taylor is an actual alien… does that make her a xenomorph?”

“Du-ude! Don’t give him ammo!” Taylor gave her best friend a playful punch to the shoulder.

Diego sniggered. “It’s all right. I’ve always seen you two more like Lilo and Stitch.”

“Well, at least that’s cuter…” She exhaled deeply. This was really it. Goodbye. How the hell could she say goodbye to Diego? “Anyway, I’ll be heading to bed now, too.” She squeezed Jake even tighter. “ _You_ , are a snarky asshole, but you’re a lovely snarky asshole. I like you better now you don’t try so hard to hide your sensitivity so much.”

 “Like I said, excessively affectionate drunk…”

“Love you too, Top Gun.”

 Finally, the moment she’d been dreading. Taylor flung herself around Diego and buried her face in her shoulder. “You, Diego, are the actual best person in the whole world.”

Jake smirked over his shoulder. “So just La Huerta, then?”

“Ugh, can someone kick him for me?” She aimed a smack at Jake’s shoulder but missed. “What I’m trying to say is… I know I’m not the best friend you thought you always have, and I wish so much I could have been there for you all those years.”

Diego felt himself tearing up. “Jeez, Taylor, you can’t do this to me when I’ve had a few!”

“Oh, stop being such a baby! It’s end-of-the-world-iversary, you’re allowed to cry. The thing is, the time we’ve had together has been beyond amazing. The adventure we needed, we got it. And through the whole damn thing you’ve been a gem. You’ve made me smile when no one else could, no matter how bad things got. You’re so much gutsier than you ever gave yourself credit for. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better friend… I love you so much, you perfect dork.”

“I love you too- but are you okay? That was the kind of speech the hero gives before they go and die. That wasn’t a dying monologue, was it?”

 Taylor snorted with laughter, though inside her stomach clenched. She hated lying to him. “If end-of-the-world-iversary doesn’t call for an over the top declaration of love, I don’t know what does. Pretty sure I’m gonna serenade Estela when she gets her turn.” She bumped her head affectionately against his. “I just… don’t say these things enough. And I don’t want you to ever, _ever_ forget how wonderful I know you are.”

Diego couldn’t help but grin, warmed by her friendship. “Well, I would have prepared a speech if I knew we were doing that… but you make me feel like I can do anything. And I’m pretty sure you do that for all of us; it’s like some weird magic power that you’ve got. So many people have rejected me for who I am, people who I never believed could have turned their backs on me… but you see me and… you look at me like I’m something special. I hope you know how much I appreciate you.”

“Course I do. You talked me through scene-by-scene every _Star Wars_ movie we thought we’d seen together but actually we hadn’t. If I don’t appreciate that kind of dedication, what kind of friend would I be?” She planted a kiss on his forehead. “Just… be happy. Tonight I mean. And until I see you next.”

“Same to you with bells on. Sleep tight!”

 As Taylor walked away, she had to stop herself from looking over her shoulder, knowing that to do so would cause her to break down on the spot. She walked purposefully forward, seeking the only person who could offer her any comfort. From a distance, she saw a figure atop a flower-adorned double-storey hut… their home. They’d built it together- with a little help from their friends- imagining a future there. As if in defiance of the slim chance that Taylor to fulfil those hopes, they’d included a small room for a future addition to their family. It was no palace… it was not even a patch on the room they’d shared for many months in the Celestial, but it was _theirs_ and theirs alone.

 Coming near to the little glowing hut that drew her in like a beacon, Taylor’s gaze met with Estela’s, and her heart skipped a beat. She was drawn in, entranced, just as she had been on that fateful plane journey. Driven by an aching longing, knowing that they had only hours left, she broke into a run and vaulted onto the roof from the steep grassy slope. Speaking no words, she let Estela wrap her in the warmest of hugs, heartfelt and strong. They held one another tight, letting silent tears fall, both wishing they could hold on forever. 

 A long while later, Taylor came away and wiped the tears from Estela’s eyes. She followed her touch with tiny kisses, feeling the soft flutter of eyelashes against her lips.

 Turning so that she looked out over the village, shoulder-to-shoulder with her love, Estela leaned her head against Taylor’s and quietly watched the festivities from a distance. The group had gathered around the fire pit, drunken shouts and laughter ringing out into the night. She knew that nothing would ever be the same again. This place, this home that they’d created… it wasn’t perfect, but it was the only peace she’d ever known. Whatever came next, she could face it… so long as Taylor could remain by her side… somehow.

 Taylor nuzzled Estela’s neck, breathing in her scent, letting it solace her, just a little. It was impossible to completely comprehend that it really was over. Almost certainly, she’d spoken to eleven of the most precious people in her life for the last time. Now it was just her and Estela, hanging on until the bitter end. She prayed that she was stronger than Vaanu believed her, strong enough to go on living without the spirit that had given her life in the first place. Her mind had been made up long ago that she’d cling to the scraps of humanity within her, even if it killed her. She’d fought _hard_ for this life of hers. Over the past months, she’d worked tirelessly to make her physical body strong, training under Estela’s guidance. Honestly, she didn’t know if it would make a damn bit of difference, but it at least gave them the illusion that they had some control, some influence on their fate. A year and a day. Another straw grasped at, a hope to cling onto. They’d received a blessing from Seraxa that morning; their spirits declared as destined to be as one forever. _No land, sea, or person may keep those who are destined apart._ There was now no more to be done. She felt a sweet kiss to her temple.

 “Looks like this is us back where we started,” Estela said quietly. “Helpless together…”

 “I can’t believe how simple everything was back then,” Taylor said with a sigh. “I mean, it was insane. We had no idea what was going on… but I was just another Hartfield student. Falling for the mysterious stranger, imagining that when it was all over, we might go home and go on cute dates together. God, I wish I could have that life.” She watched over her friends; seeing Raj apparently passed out in the sand, Aleister dancing by the fire with Grace snuggled against his chest, Quinn squealing with laughter as she was chased through the water by a tag team of Jake and Craig. There could be no regrets. She could give them the lives they deserved, and she would do it with love. “But,” she said, “I wouldn’t trade a second of what we’ve had. We belong together. You and me. Estela and Taylor. I wouldn’t be half the person I am without you… there’s no way I’d ever have been brave enough to face this.”

 Another kiss. Touching Taylor was soothing, and so much more precious a sensation than Estela had imagined back when their time together felt infinite. She kissed her again, just a small, delicate caress of her lips to try and express feelings that seemed to overwhelm her whole being. “You healed me _._ I could never go back to the person I was before you. Broken. Closed. You showed me how much more there was to me… that I could feel love. And in the end, I couldn’t fight it even if I wanted to. I guess… I guess I could never really be helpless. Not when I have you.”

 Taylor nodded. It would be out of her hands, but Estela’s presence beside her made all the difference in the world. She was not alone in this. Her voice shook as she spoke. “We’d better get going. One last adventure.”

 Estela’s eyes filled with tears once more. “We’ve beaten the odds before,” she said resolutely. “ _You’ve_ beaten the odds before. And whatever happens, we’ve got now. Come on…” She moved in for another another kiss, this time seeking Taylor’s mouth, lingering to nip gently at her lower lip. “…you’ve gotta go save the world.”

 

* * *

 

 

 Having gathered necessities for the journey, Estela led the way out into the night, spear in hand, and with Taylor keeping close. They strode on in comfortable quiet, alert to dangers that abounded in the darkened forest, but secure in the company they shared. Taylor let her hand brush against Estela’s hip as they clambered over a mossy log, to be met with a loving smile. For a moment, she could forget what they were doing; she was simply enjoying a beautiful night with her soulmate. The moonlight through the trees made Estela’s eyes sparkle, and Taylor couldn’t help but be taken back to the night they’d first looked up at the stars together. Estela had been baffled by Taylor’s honest need to seek her friendship. How far they’d come…

 They came into a small clearing, and Taylor grasped Estela’s hand, silently urging her to a stop. This place was beautiful, and she needed to take the time to be a part of it. With Estela. It was, after all, all that they had.

“Are you okay?”

Taylor just kissed her, deeply, passionately, as though there was nothing else in the world except for the sensation of their bodies moving as one. To her, there might as well not be. The force of the embrace sent Estela stumbling backwards until she was pressed up against a broad tree trunk. With the tree as leverage, she responded fervently, closing her eyes and losing herself to the feel of Taylor, of her fingers tangled in her hair, hot breath against her mouth, heart beating against her own.

 As they reluctantly parted, Taylor’s eyes were shining with tears. “Like you said… we’ve got now. Nothing can take this from us. This is ours.”

 With a happy murmur, Estela nuzzled close, and peppered soft kisses against Taylor’s jaw, trailing down her neck to her collarbone. She gazed up into her eyes with a fierce yearning. “I’m yours, Taylor…”

 Taylor took a leap into Estela’s arms, wrapping her legs around her middle and leaning down to meet her lips in a searing kiss. Loving hands travelled beneath her clothes, holding her, caressing her. She quietly moaned against Estela’s mouth, then came away, just long enough to pull her lover’s shirt over her head. Her hands ran over her exposed torso… taut muscle, soft skin, etched with scars- each of which holding a story that had played its part in creating the beautiful woman who writhed with pleasure beneath her. She felt herself lowered to the ground, and her own shirt gently removed. Flushed, she removed the rest of her clothes, and looked down to an adoring gaze.

“You’re so beautiful…” Estela whispered, and she delicately stroked the curve of Taylor’s breast.

“Maybe so, but I feel like you shouldn’t be the only one enjoying the view.” Taylor winked. She propped herself up on her hands and knees, giving Estela space to wriggle free of her clothes.

“Happy now?”

Taylor snuggled back down, responding to the need in Estela’s eyes. “You take my breath away…”

 Twirling a lock of blonde hair in her fingers, Estela giggled, and let her other hand travel downwards, teasingly. The whole time, her intense gaze was fixed on those pale, glittering eyes. “Taylor… my heart. I haven’t even started.”

With the passing of hours, the ardent, fiery dance of two lovers at the end of the line slowed, giving way to near silence and the lightest, most delicate of touches. Exhilarated panting gave way to quiet purrs and murmurs against the still of night. Each brush of skin, each soft kiss set them alight, as their bodies ached with the urgent need to soak in the embrace that would be their last. Naked upon their blanket, they were exposed against the moonlit night, against the twisted wilderness, and primal adrenalin brought their senses to their peak.

 Taylor felt her eyelids grow heavy. She wanted to sleep. She wanted to sleep right there, not knowing where her body ended and Estela’s began. If she could be trapped forever in a single moment of time, she couldn’t imagine a better eternity than this. But time was one thing they no longer had. As her eyes fell closed, a hand reached out and stroked her face.

“Taylor… it has to be now.”

There was no question. Knowing how hard leaving had been, Taylor knew she could never face it a second time. But more than that, she couldn’t let it all drag out, for Estela’s sake. They would part as they were, with no words left unsaid. Somewhere in Estela’s eyes was a faint glimmer of hope that Taylor’s mind would change, and to extinguish that spark hurt more than she could say. Taylor simply nodded and sat up, as ready as she’d ever be to confront her destiny.

 She reached out to grab her top and paused, looking into Estela’s face with affection so strong it was almost painful. “Chances are,” she said, her voice trembling, “I’m not gonna be coming home with you. I just… I need you to know that I couldn’t have wished for more. If this was my last night on earth, if this right here is the last memory I’ll have… it’s perfect. Here with you.” She gave a little sob. “I love you, ‘Stel. My starlight.”

“I love you. Taylor, you are my whole world. Whatever happens, tonight will be precious to me, always.”

 The two women dressed slowly, taking their time to help one another, before starting back on their trek to the heart of Atropo. In the dark, the tears that streamed down their faces were invisible, drying in the night air without ever being given away. The change in climate was sudden, and they were soon shivering.

 “We must be close…” Taylor said, over the sound of Estela’s teeth chattering.

 They trudged further through the snow, staying close to one another to preserve warmth, until the gaping abyss came into view.

 As they approached the huge elevator that would take them down into the caverns below, Taylor felt her knees buckle beneath her with every step, harder and harder until she could barely keep putting one foot in front of the other. Trembling fingers wrapped around hers, and she felt her breathing steady, just a little.

“I’ve got you,” Estela said softly, wishing with all her heart that she could simply take her wife in her arms and pull her away from the brink. “We can take this as slow as you need.”

 Her heart in her throat, Taylor could only nod. This would take every ounce of courage in her body, and she doubted she could have come even this close alone. She gripped Estela’s hand with fearful desperation and kept moving forwards. Looking down into the great chasm, she knew it was time.

No turning back now.

 

 


	3. Revival

Estela descended from the elevator first, her every sense alert and spear at the ready. Somewhere within the glowing red caverns lurked the oryctoraptor, and there was little doubt that it would respond strongly to a rare intrusion into its domain.

 Following a few steps behind, Taylor was quietly grateful for Estela’s courageous and capable presence by her side. It was now down to the wire, and there was no room for emotion to dull their response to the danger they faced. She moved carefully, aware of every foot placement, knowing that a clatter of rocks could be enough to get them in hot water fast.

 Letting out a breath that she’d been holding subconsciously, Estela put a hand on Taylor’s arm. “The crystal was down that way, right?” she whispered. “It looks like we’re clear for now.”

 The passageway that had been opened up by the placement of the clawprint orb remained. As she passed through, at Estela’s heels, Taylor found herself overwhelmed by the drumming of her own heart. There could be no more denial, no more delaying. She focused her mind, reaching across the island.

_Varyyn._

The sleeping elyyshar’s mind connected with her own, and Taylor spoke to him.

_I am returning my essence to Vaanu. Bring help to the caverns beneath Atropo; we might need it._ She shared with him a vision of their surroundings, calling him. _I might not be human enough to go on living. This could be the last thing I ask of anyone; get Estela home safe._

Closing her mind to any response, Taylor trained her senses back to her surroundings, listening for the slightest hint of movement in the caves. From behind came a faint sound of disturbed rocks, and she froze, feeling Estela become still beside her, coiled up to strike.

 Estela smoothly slipped behind Taylor, facing back in the direction from which they’d come. She raised her spear. With a glance, she encouraged her companion to keep moving forward. If the demon reptile wanted to harm Taylor, it would have to go through her first.

 Taylor crept onwards on light feet, choosing a path that took her close to geysers in which they might hide themselves should the raptor emerge. Suddenly, she felt herself nudged towards one. Taking the hint, she shrouded herself in the spray, with Estela pressed up against her, hiding. She felt a shift behind her as Estela pulled an arm back, ready to take out the threat.

 The oryctoraptor stalked into view, its head cocked, listening for the source of the movement that had drawn it in.

 Taylor held her breath.

Long toe claws clicking against the hard earth with each step, the raptor came closer, slowly passing their hiding place. Its rump now facing them, its keen eyes trained on the movements of a small lizard on the other side of the cave, Estela struck. The raptor shrieked as the spear connected with its thigh, driven deep into the flesh by the force of the throw. It whirled around, squalling, its bright eyes flashing with rage. With its attackers still out of view and utterly silent, it turned and fled, the spear still buried in its leg.

 With a gasp, Taylor stepped out of the flume. She could only hope that the injury would be enough to keep the raptor at bay- especially as they’d now lost their most effective weapon. Joining her, Estela took out her obsidian dagger.

“If it comes back, I’ll be ready.”

Taylor nodded shakily. Focused as she was on the sacrifice she was about to make, she’d not quite been prepared for the threat that stood between her and the crystal pillar. The path forward was now clear, but it was obvious that they couldn’t linger. Her time was up.

 

* * *

 

 

In Elyys’tel, a sleeping Diego was disturbed by Varyyn stirring around him. He blearily opened his eyes to see his husband hastily gathering supplies and squirrelling them into a satchel.

 “What… what’s going on? Are you all right?”

Varyyn turned, and the fearful look in his eye unsettled Diego. “I’m sorry, Diego. There may be trouble. I didn’t wish to wake you; you’ve had so little sleep.”

“Trouble? What kind of trouble?”

  
“I think Taylor seeks to unite her spirit -her being- with Vaanu. To restore the earth and all those lost in the fires beyond La Huerta.”

Diego gave a shuddered gasp, wide awake as though someone had thrown a bucket of ice water over him. His Taylor, his best friend… she was sacrificing herself. “ _No! Varyyn, you have to stop her!_ She’ll be gone… W-where’s Estela? She wouldn’t let Taylor do this- _”_

“They’re together. Diego, you must trust me.” Varyyn strode across the room in a smooth stride, his eyes filled with concern.

“Of course, I…” Diego’s voice shook. He should have _known_. He could tell that something was going on beneath the surface with Taylor. Why didn’t he realise? “I… I trust you.”

“I will take several scouts to the chasm. We must be prepared… the Deep Guardian will not welcome intrusion. And you… must stay here, my love.”

“Stay? No! Varyyn, I can’t!”

“Diego…” Varyyn put his hand on his love’s shoulder and squeezed.

“I trust you, but…”

“We’ll need to move swiftly. Taylor is fearing for her life; I may need to carry her to safety. My love, you could not be expected to keep the pace.”

Of course, he was right, but it hurt Diego’s heart to accept it. There was no doubt in his mind that Taylor run to his side if ever he were in danger. He put his arms around Varyyn. “What can I do?”

Varyyn looked down into Diego’s pleading eyes, his expression one of determination. “I will seek the mind of our chief healer if we need it, but I want you to prepare Michelle. If they’re hurt, she’ll be of help."

“Okay… okay…” Diego’s heart was hammering. That he’d been sound asleep just moments ago seemed impossible; he’d never been more alert in his life. “I’ll… I’ll find Michelle.” He staggered toward the arched door of their sleeping quarters. “Varyyn…”

“Diego, I will care for her life as if it were yours. I will care for both of them.”

A lump in his throat, Diego nodded. Deep fear settled in his belly. If Taylor was giving herself back to Vaanu, there could be nothing left of her to save.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The glowing crystal called to Taylor, drawing her in. The cavern seemed to ring with silence, even as she kept putting one foot in front of the other. All she could hear was the thundering of her own heart. She walked close to Estela, so that their thighs brushed with each opposing stride; a small comfort to carry her those last agonising steps.

“Taylor,” Estela breathed, barely audible. “I love you. I… I’ll stay with you, ‘til the end.”

 “I love you too. I love you… I love you…” Taylor spoke in whisper, her face fast becoming wet with tears against her wife’s neck.

 Estela held her tight, easing her towards the crystal pillar and crouching down in the ethereal light that radiated from it. How could something so beautiful cause so much pain? Even as she felt fury bubble up within her, she forced it down. It was unfair… horrifically so, but anger wouldn’t give Taylor what she needed.

 Tears streaming down her face, Taylor crouched before the pillar, feeling an overwhelming pull towards it.  She gave a little sob. _Vaanu. I’m giving you what’s yours. Let me go. Let me go._

“No more crying now…” Estela roughly brushed aside her own tears and tenderly lifted Taylor’s face towards her own. “There’s all the time to be sad. But right now, you have me, and I have you. And you’re about to save everyone.”

_Except for us,_ Taylor thought. _Except for you._ Under the sweet caress of her love’s fingers, she became calm.

“Estela, I’m so-“ she croaked, only to be cut off.

“No. Don’t do that.” Estela’s voice was firm, but unmistakeably loving. She ran her thumb across Taylor’s cheek, reassuring her that there was nothing to apologise for, that there was no need for regret in these last moments.

Taylor gazed into her eyes, just inches from her face, and felt them staring into her soul, burning with affection. She let the feeling, of total, blissful connection, fill her up, giving her all the courage she’d ever need. If she had to go, this was how it had to be. “I’m gonna touch it now…” Her voice came out far steadier than she’d expected. “Will you hold me… kiss me?” _Kiss me goodbye…_

Estela took Taylor’s face in her hands and drew it to her lips, kissing her slow and lingering, pouring the love that was breaking her heart into that last goodbye. An arm around her torso pulled her closer, while Taylor’s other hand reached out, offering herself. Finally, she could no longer hold back the tears, and she let them fall.

 Even while her heart soared as she responded fervently, desperately, to the most breathtaking of kisses, Taylor kept reaching. _Vaanu. Please, don’t take me away._ She laid her hand upon the brilliant crystal pillar, and a familiar glow began to overwhelm her. _Let me stay with her._

The light was blinding, and in its wake came pain, burning through every inch of Taylor’s body, a pain unlike anything she’d felt before. She doubled over and tried to scream, but no sound came out. Even though she knew Estela was there, she couldn’t see or even feel her. She tried to reach out, to call for her, but she was totally lost. She felt herself slipping away, the light giving way to darkness as her body writhed in agony. Her every cell screaming, it became all too much. Taylor slumped forward and became still, falling into nothingness.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The night- or rather, the early morning, had become still, blaring music, shouts and laughter having finally ceased. The revellers- in various states of intoxication- had returned to their homes, save for a few who’d simply crashed on the beach.

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzztttt!_

A phone vibrated noisily beside Craig and Zahra’s bed. Ignoring the groaning beside him, Craig reached out and tried to make sense of the writing on the screen. Easier said than done for someone who that night had come close to replacing every drop of water in his body with alcohol.

“Yo, Z-“

“Volume. Down. Or I will stab you,” came a muffled voice from beneath the covers.

  _Bzzzzzzzzzzzztttt!_

“I think I’ve got missed calls…”

“From where? The afterlife?”

Craig’s eyes grew wide. “D’you really think…?”

“No, asshat! Just shut it off and let me sleep.’

_Bzzzzzzzzzzzztttt!_

“That actually sounds like a really good idea…” Craig’s words were slurred. “I feel like this buzzing is gonna make my brain explode. You’re so smart.” Clumsily mashing the buttons, he managed to turn off the offending phone before slumping over the bedside table. “Ugh… night, Player One…”

Zahra responded with just a little grunt but edged into his side of the bed so that her back was against his side and her head resting on his outstretched arm. Within seconds, she’d succumbed to a deep slumber, thinking nothing of the phone going off for no reason at all. At the very edge of humanity’s survival, a malfunctioning mobile had little meaning.

 A lone figure amid the now-deserted party decorations and discarded bottles that were strewn far and wide between Elyys’tel and the village, Diego was growing increasingly frantic. For a good half hour he’d been hammering on Michelle’s door to no response. Knowing how much everyone had been drinking, it would have been reasonable to assume that she was home but pretty much dead to the world. Doubting himself, Diego had wandered by Quinn’s place and knocked on the door there too, having seen the two of them side by side for most of the night, but still, nothing.

 Running his hands through his hair, he tried to calm himself. Michelle was somewhere in the village; he’d just have to try every hut. _Jeez, Taylor- of all the nights to do this, it_ had _to be the one where everyone was off their face drunk._ He turned to head up the hill, to start searching his friends’ places one by one -surely _someone_ would know where to find Michelle- and was stopped in his tracks as his eye fell upon the expanse of sea before him. The orange glow on the horizon, the endlessly burning fires… it had all gone out. Taylor had done it. And he’d lost her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The crystal pillar was gone, and Taylor lay crumpled on the rocky ground. Her heart pounding in her ears, Estela searched desperately for a pulse, but found nothing. Through her tears, she began chest compressions and mouth-to-mouth. _God, Taylor, why did you have to do this?_

 “Come on, _come on_ … don’t you dare leave me…”

She had no idea how long it was -it felt like an eternity- but finally she caught a faint pulse. Trembling, Estela leant over her wife’s chest. Taylor was breathing… just. She gave her a little shake, but the body in her arms was limp and totally unresponsive.

“Taylor? Taylor! Can you hear me? Taylor!” “I’m gonna get you outta here… I’m gonna get you home. Just stay with me, okay? I can’t lose you… I can’t…”

Estela hauled Taylor over her shoulders, holding onto her with one hand, while the other gripped the dagger. The oryctoraptor was somewhere in the caverns and no doubt in a foul mood after being injured. She crept forward in the direction that she knew would lead out towards Elyys’tel, but moving quietly was near impossible while carrying such a heavy dead weight.

 After a little way, she stopped to check on Taylor. She could feel her breathing, shallow, laboured, but was nothing else… not a twitch or a flicker of the eyelids to suggest that she was still there. That face had been so full of life, but now… nothing. Panic began to grip at Estela’s core, the relief of having revived Taylor dwindling away rapidly. By all technicalities, Taylor was still clinging to life, but was there even any of her left in that hollow shell? Estela tried desperately to wake her; pouring water over her face, shaking her, slapping her, crying out for her, losing all concern about keeping quiet as a frantic need to get some kind of response - _anything_ \- consumed her. The devastating reality hit her like a train, and she sobbed against Taylor’s chest.

 The strangled cry of an animal in pain startled Estela to her senses. Her blood ran cold. Emotion had made a reckless fool out of her. There was no space here to feel; however strong the pull to dissolve into anguish, she had to stay sharp. She simply could not face down the beast with a limp body in her arms; the raptor had to be dealt with. Keeping one eye on the dark corners of the cavern, she hauled Taylor up onto a ledge, just above head height. There was no doubt that the raptor could scale the rockface with ease, but she could only hope that it would keep Taylor out of its line of sight.

“Hang on for me, _please_ , just… I’ll be back… I promise I’m not leaving you…” Estela’s voice was hushed as she nuzzled close to Taylor’s face. Her protective instinct flared up, the only thing powerful enough to drag her from her love’s side. “Hold on… _hold on_ …”

She stalked further along the ledge, back in the direction they’d come from, her dagger tight in her grip. Hissing with rage, the raptor rounded the corner. Even with a noticeable limp and a spear hanging from its thigh, it was swift and agile. Once again, Estela held her breath. From her vantage point above the reptile’s head, there was a chance she could maintain the element of surprise. In obvious pain, the raptor walked with its head down, oblivious to the whereabouts of its attacker. Finally, it moved beneath the ledge, and Estela vaulted down to its side, yanking the spear from its hide before it knew what hit it. Blood gushed and the raptor screeched. It spun on its haunches, jaws snapping. Estela masterfully leapt out of the way, but the spear was knocked down into a deep crevice by the beast’s tail as it swung through the air. It was a blow, but she still had her dagger on hand. She danced around the raptor; even with it grievously injured, she could only just stay ahead of its jaws and talons as she searched for an opening. If she could just keep it up for long enough, the raptor would surely succumb to the gaping wound that continued to pour blood from its side. The only trouble was, it wasn’t the only one that was exhausted. Even as the raptor slowed, Estela did too, and her focus waned as unbidden thoughts of Taylor slipping away, alone and abandoned, crept into her mind. She’d been away too long- she had to finish this, and fast.

Taking a chance, she threw herself back up onto the ledge, scrambling to get a foothold while swinging at the raptor. Her aim was true, and her blade sliced open the beast’s shoulder from above, narrowly missing swiping talons that reached out, clawing the air. Enraged, the raptor jumped, catching Estela’s leg in its maw and sinking razor sharp teeth down into her flesh, ripping, tearing. She gave a single yell of shock and pain, and held onto the jagged rock for dear life as the raptor tried to drag her down. Estela could feel a wet warmth spreading down to her foot but didn’t let it distract her- she _had_ to keep fighting until the monster could cause Taylor no harm. The cavern appeared to swim around her, colours blurring together. With every ounce of strength she had, she drove her dagger down into the raptor’s skull with her free hand. It gave an ear shattering shriek, releasing the searing pressure on her calf, and fell away. Estela panted heavily as she struggled to crawl forward on bloodied and grazed hands, but she managed to drag herself back to Taylor, leaving a trail of blood dark against the earth. Blood loss and fatigue left her mind sluggish; she couldn’t get a sense of who or what the figures coming towards her were, whether it was the raptor returning or some new threat. All she knew was to drape herself protectively over Taylor’s frail, unconscious form, shielding her with her last ebb of strength before succumbing to the darkness herself. “ _Tayl-…”_

 

* * *

 

 

Nestled in against the soft skin of Quinn’s shoulder, Michelle was sleeping soundly when a resounding _bang_ on the door jolted her to her senses. She sat up, realising that she wasn’t home; she was at Quinn’s place. She was sure she’d heard some idiot yelling her name earlier, but being rather hammered and with a sporting a splitting post-party headache, she’d put a pillow over her head and blocked it out. Whoever it was out there was now too loud to ignore- and she prepared herself to give them a piece of her mind. Not wanting to wake Quinn unnecessarily, she crept to the window to see who it was that was bothering them at such an ungodly hour. Probably, she imagined, one of her friends, wasted after the party. To her surprise, the figure that peered up at her was Vaanti, the head healer, Ravyya.

“Canis and I have been searching for you. I’m afraid it is urgent, Pavo. I have received word from Varyyn that friends of yours are in critical condition. You must hurry.”

 The bottom seemed to fall out of Michelle’s stomach. “ _What?_ Who- who’s hurt?”

“The Catalysts Draco and Andromeda. We must be ready to meet them as Varyyn’s scouts return from the caverns of Atropo. They can cover the distance swiftly, but time is of the essence.”

 “I’ll just be a moment- thank you.”

Suddenly wide awake, and gripped by a cold fear, Michelle hurriedly gathered her clothes and dressed herself. _What the hell is going on?_ Tentatively, she nudged Quinn’s shoulder. “Quinn… I’m sorry, you’ve got to wake up.”

“… Michelle…” Even with her eyes bleary and filled with sleep, Quinn could see that something was wrong. “Wha- what’s happened?”

“I honestly don’t know. Taylor and Estela are hurt, or sick… I don’t know what’s going on, but I know it’s bad. I’m going to the med centre.”

“I’m coming with you.”

They hurried out the door met, with Diego, who’d caught up with Ravyya.

“Diego! Please tell me you know what’s going on here…” Michelle felt sick. Diego looked utterly bereft, grief-stricken. Whatever this was, it was serious.

Quinn put her arms around Diego, and he cried into her shoulder. “Diego… what is it? What’s happened?”

Ravyya spoke. “See for yourself.” She pointed a long, muscular arm out towards the sea. “Earth is restored. Time has been healed by the gift of Andromeda’s essence back to the source- Vaanu.”

Michelle looked completely bewildered, but Quinn gasped, tears raining down in an instant, knowing exactly what this meant. “Taylor… sacrificed herself?”

Diego nodded shakily. “I think she’s gone…”

“What has come to pass is not important!” said Ravyya impatiently, already beginning to stride towards Elyss’tel. “It does not matter _why_ we have patients, only that we heal them. If you can talk and move hurriedly, you may do so, but there is no time to linger.”

They walked quickly, with all bar Ravyya trying to wrap their heads around an impossible situation. It had been mere hours since they’d seen Taylor and Estela- laughing, dancing, just as though it had been any other of the Catalysts’ wild parties. When Michelle looked out onto the horizon, she could see for herself that the early morning sky had changed. Could it be true? Could the world be… back? And how?

“What do you mean, Taylor’s gone?” she asked, her voice quivering. “How could she return to Vaanu? She’s… she’s human now!”

“Andromeda has never truly been human,” Ravyya said. “We expected that, having given herself to Vaanu, she would disappear, leaving with the rest of the entity to the world from which they came. But her body remains.”

Diego looked up, eyebrows knitted in confusion. “Do you mean she’s… dead? That was never supposed to happen-“

“Ack! There is no ‘supposed to’. You must have learned by now that the mysteries of Vaanu, of the universe itself, can never be truly understood. We have made guesses, predictions… that is all. And no, Canis, she is not dead. Varyyn gave message of two Catalysts found. Alive, but unconscious and in grave peril. Why would I gather healers to tend to a corpse, stupid child?”

Falling quiet, Diego dared feel a glimmer of hope. Taylor was still with them.

With the arm that wasn’t around Diego’s shoulders, Quinn reached out and took Michelle’s hand. She looked positively shell-shocked. “’Chelle… whatever this is, we’ll take care of them. Miracles have worked for us before…”

Michelle sniffed and gratefully squeezed Quinn’s hand. There was no miracle-cure Heart now. All they had was themselves; an ambitious pre-med in over her head, and the Vaanti’s traditional healers. But she’d be damned if she was to give up. As she trudged purposefully onwards, she couldn’t help herself from glancing out to sea again and again. That everything had returned after all this time… it wouldn’t sink in. It couldn’t feel real next to the friends she’d fought, cried, laughed and lived with for the past year. Compared to the overwhelming need to get to Taylor and Estela, to keep them safe, the saving of the world was almost inconsequential.

After what felt like an age, they arrived at Elyys’tel’s medical centre. For the past months, the small facility had been Michelle’s baby. Her dreams for the future had been dashed, but her ambition was too much for her to be held back. She’d led a team to MASADA, sourcing medical equipment and pharmaceuticals from Rourke’s extensive laboratories. His fascination for medicine served her well, for the library also turned out to be a treasure trove. With Varyyn’s blessing, she’d started a small clinic, where she assisted the traditional Vaanti healers, all the while studying late into the night. Even so early in her education, her medical knowledge outstripped that of anyone else on La Huerta, and she’d grown in confidence treating the minor illnesses and injuries that cropped up in the small population. This, though, would be her first major challenge.

 Between Michelle, Quinn and Ravyya, they brought out a pair of beds and gathered supplies. Not knowing what they’d be faced with, they prepared for the worst, and the room was soon set up with monitoring machines, ventilators and drips. Diego could only look on, at a loss as to how to help. As she finished making one of the beds, Quinn noticed him looking lost and reached out to him.

“Do you need a hug?”

“ _So_ much.” Diego let Quinn wrap her arms around him. Of course he’d needed a hug. He just wished it was coming from Taylor.

Ravyya approached them. “They are here. It is best you wait outside. We will let you know if they are ready for visitors.”

Hand in hand, Quinn and Diego walked out and faced the morning. It looked like any other day on La Huerta, but everything had changed.

Varyyn walked past them, Taylor in his arms, and Diego felt his stomach do a somersault. She looked like death itself…

Michelle was immediately at Varyyn’s side, helping him settle Taylor onto one of the beds. She began examining her and was alarmed by her pallor and feeble vitals. He hastily hooked her up to the monitors. “She was unconscious when you found her?”

“They both were. Her heart stopped on the journey; it was a fight to bring her back.”

Just then, Seraxa entered the room, her front stained with blood, and lay Estela down onto the other bed.

“Oh my god! What happened?” Michelle put her hands to her mouth as she saw the jagged tear down Estela’s calf. It was partially closed, but oozed blood.

“The Deep Guardian,” said Seraxa solemnly. “the most wily of Vaanu’s servants. She would not have welcomed their trespass. We healed as well as could be done with our leaves, but this is too deep a wound for the treatment to be effective.”

 As Ravyya hooked Estela up to a drip, replenishing the fluids she’d lost, Michelle collected herself. She was way out of her depth- she was just a pre-med- but friends needed her to hold it together.

“This is gonna need stitches,” she said shakily. “If you hadn’t worked quickly, she would have bled out… this is… huge.” Michelle had not dealt with such an extensive wound before. She gave Estela’s fingers a little squeeze before taking her scissors and beginning to cut away the pants from the bloodied leg. “I-it’s okay…” she stammered, before taking a deep breath and collecting herself. “I’ve got you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Sean strolled out his front door, blinking in the sunlight. A little hungover, he could not say he envied the headaches that some of his friends would be sporting when they woke up. Desperate for fresh air, he headed down to the beach, picking up discarded bottles and cans as he went. Just another morning after. Or at least… it seemed that way. Until he saw a small dot on the horizon. If he didn’t know any better, he’d have said it was a boat in the distance, but that simply wasn’t possible. He wandered idly, but couldn’t stop looking back to the sea, to the dot that wasn’t a boat. Humouring himself, he reached into his pocket for his phone, which for the last year had functioned only as a camera. As he glanced down at it, Sean wondered how much he _had_ been drinking. He had reception. More than that, he had ten missed calls and three text messages… from his mother.

 Tears sprang to his eyes. These must have been from when she’d been caught up in the catastrophic eruption… final goodbyes. He slumped down onto his knees in the sand and tried to find the courage to press ‘play’, to hear his mother’s final words. And then the screen lit up- an incoming call. His heart in his throat, Sean answered, and the voice that spoke to him made him break down in sobs.

“Momma?”

 

* * *

 

 

 Struggling to control the nervous tremor in her hands, Michelle pulled the edges of Estela’s lacerated calf together and sutured them closed. She’d had Ravyya take an x-ray- one of the many godsend pieces of equipment that Rourke had left behind- and had been relieved to find that no bones had been broken by the raptor’s strong jaws. The lower part of the leg had, however, been ravaged. Muscle was left torn and ragged, a tendon ruptured, and the damage trailed down the ankle. The leaves had worked to save Estela from blood loss so far, but Michelle had needed to disturb the partially healed wound in order to effectively sew it back together. The whole thing had been an absolute mess and the pressure near overwhelming.

Sensing her colleague’s insecurity, Ravyya gave Michelle an encouraging smile- a rare thing for the stern Vaanti. “She has recovered well from bleeding. It looks as though the danger has passed.”

“If this doesn’t heal properly, she could lose the leg…:

“Nonsense! What you cannot do, our herbs will. This leg will heal.”

 Michelle almost allowed herself to feel heartened when a high-pitched alarm pierced the air. Taylor was arresting… again. Frantic, Michelle put her bloodied hands to Taylor’s chest and began compressions. It was everything she’d dreaded. The cycle felt endless; compressions… mouth-to-mouth…compressions, over and over again. Tiring, she let Ravyya take over. Thirty minutes… forty…

“Pavo, I think we should stop now.”

“Let me keep going.” Michelle didn’t know how she managed to get the words out. But she had to try, just a few minutes longer. Even as her whole body shook with fear, she kept fighting. “Come back to me Taylor… _come on!_ ” she growled. Light-headed, falling deeper into a terrified daze, a voice in her head told her that it was over. She knew it, but she didn’t know how she could accept it. Taylor’s life was in _her_ hands.

“ _Pavo!”_

Michelle ignored the admonishment and put her mouth to Taylor’s, giving rescue breaths for what she knew had to be the last time. And the monitor’s intermittent beeping resumed, reading a pulse. Feeling as though she was going to faint, she put her hands on Taylor, checking her vitals once more. “We’ve got her back.”

Ravyya gave the smallest of smiles. “It seems your judgement was correct. But you should not let ties of the heart interfere with your decisions. Come. Finish tidying this up. I will observe Andromeda myself.”

 Mid-morning, and with both her patients finally stable, Michelle retreated into the waiting room, completely drained. She collapsed into a chair and buried her face in her arms. The path she’d chosen… sometime or another, she’d lose someone in her care for the first time; it was unavoidable. Emotion couldn’t get the better of her. But Taylor, Estela… they were her sisters. She’d been a _second_ away from accepting that Taylor was gone and giving up. That kind of decision… it was too fucking much.

“Hey…” Quinn called to her gently, her voice sweet and soothing to Michelle’s ear. She knelt in front of the chair and let her friend cry into her shoulder. “You were amazing in there, Michelle.”

 Michelle could only weep. “What the _hell_ were they thinking?”

“They said… they said that Estela’s through the worst now, that she’s gonna be okay. You did that. That was so much put on your shoulders, but you did it.”

 “I’m no hero, Quinn,” Michelle hiccoughed. “Fuck, I’m barely keeping it together.”

Quinn stroked Michelle’s dirty blonde hair, which was damp with sweat, and reached up to kiss her cheek. “Honey, you don’t have to. You’re allowed to be a human being.” She exhaled, her breath trembling. “You… you’ve always been a hero. To me.”

 Tears came anew, and Michelle buried her face in her friend’s hair. She held Quinn tight, as if she was the only thing that could possibly keep her afloat.

 Sometime later, the sobs became whimpers, which faded into shared silence.

 “Is it really true? They’re saying we’ve had contact. They’re saying that… it’s like the world was never lost. That’s why Taylor did this… _god,_ she did this for us, Quinn.”

 The slight redhead nodded. “I can’t believe it. But… but it looks like… they’re all alive. Everyone we left back home. We’re even getting phone reception, internet, you name it, like there was no storm to begin with. Everyone’s been calling family. It’s real.”

 “I just… it doesn’t seem possible.” Michelle was trembling. Exhausted from the fight to save the lives of two of her closest friends, the thought of something so miraculous was jarring to her. She’d grieved for so long, come to accept her new lot in life, built something on La Huerta that she could be proud of… and now once again the world turned on its head.

 “I can lend you my phone? Is there someone you want to call?”

 Her insides turning to ice, Michelle shook her head. The only true friends she ever had were there on the island. They still needed her. “We need to get a doctor out here, someone who can be discreet. I’ve got them this far, but I… I can’t shoulder this one alone. There’s gotta be a way to get someone to help; between us we can come up with whatever money we need.”

 “Should we try and evacuate them out of here?”

“And take them where? Who knows what they’ll find if they get a closer look at Taylor? She’s not a normal human. She’s got no documents to say she belongs anywhere, and I don’t know how the hell we’re supposed to answer those kinds of questions. Even if there wasn’t any of that… Quinn, she’s so fragile. At least here she’s safe. If I make the wrong call and she…” Michelle’s voice broke.

“Hey…” Quinn rubbed her back. “We’ll take care of them right here. Where we can all stay close. I think… I think you’re right. I feel like we all need to be around Taylor. It’s almost like… she has a better chance if we’re all here.”

 It should have sounded crazy, but nothing else made sense. Taylor’s being revolved around her friends; she would not survive if she were taken away.

“I’ll talk to Grace and Aleister. They’ll have useful contacts.”

“Thanks, babe.” Michelle tentatively leaned forward to kiss Quinn’s brow. From somewhere in the back of her mind, she wondered where it all left the two of them. Home was another lifetime ago almost, and in that lifetime, Michelle worked to a plan… a plan that never would have included falling in love with a woman. With the world back as it was, old insecurities swooped in. _No. Don’t give in to that bullshit now._ “I should get back in there, sit with them.” She took Quinn’s hand in her own. “Would you… would you come with me? I don’t think I’m strong enough to do this on my own.”

So much of Quinn’s young life had been spent in hospitals. She’d made friends, kids like her with terminal illnesses. And then, almost without fail, they would be gone, leaving behind nothing but empty beds and a sobering understanding of mortality. Those days, she’d been so sure, were behind her. Quinn squeezed Michelle’s hand and looked into her eyes, willing her to feel every ounce of adoration that she felt for her. Making calls could wait. “I’ve got you, ‘Chelle.”

 Quinn placed two chairs between the hospital beds. She sat down, and laced her fingers through Taylor’s, tenderly stroking with her thumb. As Michelle hesitated in the doorway, clearly affected by the trauma of the fight she’d faced when she’d last stood in that room, Quinn offered her other hand, inviting her into a secure embrace. Collecting herself, Michelle sat in the second chair, her fingers entwining with Quinn’s on one hand, while the other gently took hold of Estela’s.

“Deep breath…” Quinn whispered encouragingly.

Michelle squeezed her fingers and exhaled shakily. _Deep breath…_

 


	4. On a Knife Edge

Estela woke slowly from a drugged haze, and found herself lying in a bed, crisp sheets tightly surrounding her. Beginning to make sense of the world around her she blinked, taking in the medical room. In the bed next to hers… Taylor. Lying prone, broken, lost to her. The air felt to be sucked from Estela’s lungs, her heart in her throat. It all flooded back.

“ _Taylor…_ ” she croaked.  _Oh god, she’s gone. She’s gone._

As she clumsily lurched to get up, Estela was firmly pushed back into her pillow. Michelle stood over her, an expression of stern resolve on her face.

“Let me-“ Estela protested, but even as she did, her body seemed to give out on her.

“Did you see what you did to your leg? You’re not going anywhere.” Michelle lurched forwards, wrapping Estela in a strong hug, feeling resistance at first, then a pull inwards. “She… she’s very weak. No response to anything; her pulse is slow… her breathing… but she’s stable.”

Both women had tears in their eyes as they came apart. The lump in Estela’s throat wouldn’t shift… she couldn’t breathe. Her mind took her back to the caverns beneath the volcano; the blinding light overwhelming her as she clung desperately to Taylor’s form as it grew limp in her arms, adrenalin pulsing through her as she fought off the raptor’s relentless assault. It was like a nightmare, and she couldn’t wake up. She looked at Michelle questioningly. What  _had_ happened?

Michelle bit her lip. It had not been long ago that she’d been ready to drag Estela for putting everyone through such a scare, but now she could only feel a mixture of relief and pity. “She did it. We can go home. We  _have_ a home.”

Estela’s gaze wandered over to Taylor, hooked up with wires and tubes. She watched her laboured breathing. The woman she loved was all but destroyed. The world and everyone in it, saved, but the price was far too much to bear. If Taylor was gone… what did home mean anyway?

“Here,” Michelle said quietly, offering her hand. “I’ll help you over to the other bed.”

Unsteadily, held up by her friend, Estela hobbled to the next bed and carefully curled up against Taylor’s side. She nuzzled her face into the crook of her neck; it was oh so familiar, and yet all wrong.  _What have we done?_

“Estela… I promise we’re doing everything we can for her. It’s just… this isn’t something we can read about and know what to do. Varyyn said that Vaanu left her with just a faint spark of life and the parts of her that are human. But she never  _was_  human… I don’t know if there’s enough left of her…”

Her eyes stinging, Estela squeezed them shut defiantly. She had force herself to believe that there was still some hope, that the Taylor she loved was still there,  _somewhere_. But it felt like she was holding onto an empty shell. Even without looking, she could feel Michelle observing her, playing the doctor. “She’s strong. There’s something there, and I’m  _not_ giving up on her. And you can quit looking at me like that. I’m  _fine_.”

“I’ve given you some pretty heavy painkillers. But if I see you up on that leg, I will personally chain you to the bed. It took a lot of stitches and those godsend leaves, but with a solid treatment of antibiotics, it should heal.”

“Some good surgery experience for you,” Estela grumbled bitterly. “You’re welcome.” Her injured leg barely registered as a problem. It was probably a bad wound -she hadn’t yet had a good look at it- but wounds healed. Taylor might not.

Estela gazed out the window over Taylor’s shoulder. A light shower of rain made the sea appear misty. The world around her seemed clearer now, but she could hardly take it in. More aware, she could feel the throbbing in her leg, all the way down to her foot. But all that mattered was the woman lying next to her. With lethargic movements, she stroked Taylor’s cheek with a grazed and bandaged hand, pausing intermittently to wipe away her own tears.

After a long while, Estela felt awake enough to acknowledge Michelle again.  “Was this right? To let her use herself as a sacrifice? One life to save billions, I get it. But we were gonna survive this together. All of us.”

Michelle gingerly sat on the bed beside her. “It was Taylor’s choice. I think… as hard as it is… she did what she needed to do. You both did.”

It didn’t feel right. Not to Estela. How dare the world keep on turning, millions and millions of people continue their lives, oblivious to the fact that the person who’d saved them- the bravest person she’d ever known- lay battered and empty? Even the thought that her  _tio_ was out there gave small comfort. How could she return to him, continue her life as normal? How could he begin to understand everything that had happened? Estela knew she couldn’t phone. To say what? That she was waiting at her wife’s deathbed? No, she would wait. She’d ring him up, tell him that she couldn’t wait to introduce him to her beautiful soulmate, tell him that she’d be home soon, and that she was happier than she could remember. Taylor would return with her to San Trobida… she’d share with her the places and memories from her childhood… they’d stargaze, looking upon constellations that Taylor had never seen before… they’d plan a future, start a family. The painful lump in Estela’s throat finally gave way, and she cried and cried.

 

* * *

 

 

The island had dissolved into a state of confusion. In times of crisis, Taylor had always fallen effortlessly into a leadership role among the Catalysts, somehow managing to find balance between the often-clashing personalities of her friends. It had taken several hours for the news of all that had happened to spread; it was only when Quinn returned from Elyys’tel that the whereabouts of half the group was explained. The atmosphere was bizarre. There was ecstatic jubilation and relief, as though the loss of their home and everyone in it had been a nightmare they’d just awoken from. But then, there was no question of leaving. They were a unit, and they’d go home  _together_ or not at all. That the miracle had come at such a terrible price weighed heavy… the shock of being on the brink of losing one of their own felt so much more real than the resurrected world beyond. Already, there had been the bittersweet realisation that Kele, along with Yvonne and Malatesta, had returned to their own times. Quinn, having already been emotionally strained by long hours in the medical room, had been distraught, and she and Michelle had cried together until they finally drifted to sleep.

When the inevitable rescue boats came, they were directed them towards MASADA, where the hotel guests remained in hydrodynamic stasis, awaiting revival. All Vaanti had to distance themselves from the coastline or remain within their homes to avoid detection during this time, a mammoth undertaking that left Varyyn torn between protecting his people and being there for his distraught husband. Many had been unwilling to leave Elyys’tel, wanting to keep vigil for not only one of the Catalysts of legend, but the person who allowed Vaanu to leave at long last. In the end, the village was like a ghost town by the time the rest of the Catalysts reconvened there. The only visible sign of life was the sprawling wall of flowers, gifts, and messages that piled high at the front of the medical centre. Knowing what it represented, it was a sobering sight. Even desperate as they were for contact with home, and for some semblance of understanding over what had happened, when it came down to it, what mattered most to every single one of them was to be near to Taylor and Estela in their time of need.

Agreeing on an explanation for what had happened since their being cut off from the rest of the world for a year and a half ago was another challenge. At the centre of the shifts of timelines, La Huerta had been totally unreachable. Rescue boats that attempted to approach simply found themselves in empty sea where the island was supposed to be. Baffled scientists could not explain the phenomenon. Eventually, everyone had agreed to plead ignorance. All their methods of transport off La Huerta had been destroyed, and they’d simply tried to survive while avoiding Rourke and the Arachnid soldiers. Anything that had gone on beyond that… was a mystery.

Aleister had been quick to point out the potential dire consequences of the suspicious disappearance of his father, who remained a high-profile figure. That he’d fallen into a hole in space-time would hardly be believed. Certain that any amount of investigation into Estela would leave her appearing guilty as sin, he busied himself with collecting evidence of Rourke’s instability, the use of assassins and the Arachnid troops to apply lethal force, and the generally unstable condition of the island itself. The damning evidence he found for foul play on Arachnid’s part would also no doubt be of great use in securing Jake’s freedom and letting Mike be remembered as the hero that he was. For safety’s sake, evidence of Olivia Montoya’s murder was destroyed. With Zahra’s hacking wizardry, there was soon no sign on any system that there ever had been a Dr. Montoya working for Rourke International. Aleister suspected he’d have hell to pay when Estela got wind of it, but he was by no means going let her take the fall. The ‘official’ story they’d relay to the Costa Rican authorities was that Rourke had been knocked into the lava flow during an attempt on the Catalyst’s lives. For Aleister, it was easier to focus on the logistics side of things rather than to queue up for what would undoubtably be an awkward visit the hospital bedsides. He didn’t imagine there was anything he could say to bring Estela comfort, so he cared for her in the only way he knew how- at a safe distance.

 

“Taylor… it’s me. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I’m right here. I’m right here, baby. Please… please just give me something, just a little movement to tell me you’re still with me. Taylor? Please. I’m… scared. I don’t know what I’m gonna do if you can’t come back to me.  _Taylor…_ ”

There was no response but cold, lonely silence. Estela pressed a kiss to her wife’s forehead. “It’s okay… you can take your time. I’m not going anywhere.”

There was a creak as the door opened, and she instinctively bristled. As much as she appreciated that their friends wanted to be near, she just wanted to be left alone… to feel close to Taylor… to even begin to wrap her head around all that had happened.

“You mind if I sit with her?” Diego asked hesitantly.

Estela didn’t look around. If anyone could understand how much she was hurting, it would be Diego. At any rate, Taylor would have wanted him there. If Estela was her soulmate, Diego was the next closest thing. “Go ahead.”

He moved the chair around to Taylor’s side of the bed and sat down. It was hard to look at her, and within minutes, his eyes began welling up. “I, uh, asked Varyyn to try and reach her with his mind… he didn’t get anything.”

The words hit Estela like a kick in the guts. If Varyyn couldn’t make contact telepathically, it seemed impossible that Taylor could hear her pleas for her to wake up. For a long while, they held vigil in silence, which Estela eventually broke, needing to ensure Diego understood why… even while she couldn’t herself.

“She didn’t want to put you through this… she hated it,” she said quietly. “There just wasn’t another way to put things right.”

“You should’ve stopped her…” The words tumbled out before Diego could help himself. He glanced worriedly to Estela.

Estela said nothing, wondering if he was right. Staring past him to the sea beyond the window, she let herself escape back to a happier time. She could hear Taylor’s laughter ringing in her mind as she playfully ran and splashed through the shallows. But Taylor could not have remained happy knowing that she could heal her friends’ hurt. Could Estela have convinced her to stay? Perhaps, but it would only have brought suffering. Estela had suffered before; she’d try to survive it again if it meant sparing Taylor the burden. Besides, Taylor had stood by her when she’d been walking her own trail to self-destruction, never wavering, offering advice but never pushing. She’d owed her the same faith and trust. Now oblivious to Diego’s presence, Estela snuggled closer and lovingly brushed Taylor’s cheek with the backs of her fingers.

Diego watched the show of affection as the tears kept coming. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Tentatively, he reached out to put his hand on Taylor’s, while trying to gage Estela’s response to what might be perceived as an intrusion. She glanced back to him, her expression soft, before focusing her attention back to her wife. “I should thank you for taking care of her all this time. I wish I could have been there for her, but she had you. It would have meant everything.”

Estela gave a small, appreciative nod, but remained quiet. Totally drained, trying to engage was simply too much. Diego was prone to bouts of verbal diarrhea, but for now, shell-shocked by the condition of his best friend, he seemed able to take the hint.

Together they kept a silent vigil. Exhaustion getting the better of him, Diego eventually fell asleep draped over Taylor’s weakly rising and falling chest. Estela, however, would not allow herself to close her eyes for fear of any change. Settling in for the long haul, she put an arm around Diego’s slumbering form and buried her face in Taylor’s silky blonde hair. She would keep her safe.

 

* * *

 

 

Night fell, with no change in Taylor’s condition. By now, she’d received visits from the whole gang at one time or another, though these were kept brief for Estela’s benefit, and the collection of flowers by her bedside was already growing steadily as a result. Only Diego, Michelle and Quinn, who had been there from the beginning, were around for extended periods.

“Hey,” Zahra said dryly as she pushed the door open.

Estela ignored her for several long moments before finally acknowledging that she had company. “I’m guessing you’re on the nightshift.”

“Insomnia’s got its uses.” Zahra wandered over cautiously, then reached out to ruffle Taylor’s hair. “Still holding out on us, Tayls? And I thought I was the uncooperative asshole.”

Estela twitched, fighting with the urge to swat the newcomer away. She really was not in the mood.

“So, uh, you think she can hear us?”

No response. Zahra sat down on the other bed, crossing her legs. She was already regretting that she’d signed up for this. It looked as though she could look forward to long hours of uncomfortable silence. What was she supposed to say to Estela? Nice was not her forte. She sighed heavily as her eyes rested on the two women in the bed beside hers. Taylor was so still, and Estela… looked afraid. Zahra didn’t think she’d ever seen her look scared, not like that.

“Hey, Estela… you can sleep, okay? I couldn’t even if I wanted to. You can trust me. You know Meech is gonna flip her shit if you don’t rest. If anything changes at all, I’ll wake you.”

Estela rolled over just a little, glancing towards Zahra. There was something like kindness in Zahra’s expression. She was way out of her depth here. “If I fall asleep, I fall asleep. But I don’t see it happening. I want to know if anything changes.”

“I get it. But at least you don’t have to force yourself to stay awake.”

“Thanks,” Estela spoke softly, her voice a little muffled as she buried her face in Taylor’s hair. “Sweet dreams, Taylor,” she whispered. With a small kiss, she closed her eyes but fought to remain focused on the sound and feel of her wife’s breathing. Her whole body felt heavy; she’d not slept since their anniversary night… it felt a lifetime ago now. But she was so tired… so very, very tired…

Estela leapt awake in the split second that a high-pitched beeping began to sound. “ _Taylor!”_ Before she had a chance to properly come to, she took Taylor in her arms, feeling immediately what the alarm had told her; that she’d once again stopped breathing. “Get Michelle-  _now!_ ” she cried, and desperately began compressions.  _Come on… come on…_

Michelle burst back into the room as Estela was doing mouth-to-mouth. She watched intently, but gave her space, ready to jump in if needed. The monitor’s reading picked up, and she realised that she’d been holding her own breath as she watched for Taylor’s.

“Let me take a look…”

“I can feel her pulse” Estela panted, stepping aside just enough to let Michelle in. Her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest.

“She’s breathing,” Michelle said with a nod. “You did great; you acted fast.” She was impressed, but not really surprised. Estela could always be relied upon to be level-headed and capable in a crisis. Her eyes, though, were filled with panic. Michelle reached out and drew her into her arms. “Deep breaths…”

Estela pulled away angrily. “I’m  _fine._ ” She couldn’t sleep now. Trembling, she lay down on the bed, pressing her body protectively against Taylor’s. She stroked away the blonde hair from her face and kissed her cheek. That had been so close.  _So close._ She’d felt Taylor dead beneath her hands, beneath her lips. It could happen again at any second. She whispered lovingly against her ear. “Don’t scare me like that…”

“Look,” said Michelle, “I’m gonna sleep in the other bed. If it happens again, I’ll be on it in a second. But you need to rest.”

“I’m in bed, aren’t I?”

Michelle huffed. “Don’t fight me. We don’t know how long she’s gonna be in this condition. If we have a crisis, Taylor will be a lot better off if you’re not a sleep-deprived wreck.” She thought she caught a growl. “You know I’m right.”

Knowing was one thing, but that didn’t make it easy. Waking suddenly to find Taylor slipping away… even for Estela to close her eyes felt impossible after that. Letting her guard down had almost killed Taylor… she’d failed her. How could she ever sleep again? Next time, she might be lost for good. She breathed in the scent of Taylor’s hair, and felt overwhelmed with love. But love became fear.

“Estela, close your eyes. I need you to trust me.”

Something in those words stirred the stricken Estela. She trusted Michelle with her life. But Taylor’s life meant so much more.

“ _Estela!_ Do as you’re told, for once in your life! _”_

Zahra couldn’t hold back a snicker. “There’s no way in hell you’d be that brave if she didn’t have a banged-up leg…”

“Shut up, Zahra! Estela,  _please._ I swear I’ll take care of her… but she needs you to be taken care of too. Please. Close your eyes.”

Scowling, but knowing in her heart of hearts that her friend was right, Estela obliged. There was nothing for it but to tell herself that her wife was in safe hands. She tried to imagine that this was just any other night. Taylor was just sleeping in her arms, safe and content. She made a little grumbling sound but relented. “I trust you.”

A couple of hours later, a bored Zahra sat herself on the bed beside Taylor. Estela had reluctantly dropped off to sleep a little while after Michelle, leaving Zahra with the responsibility of keeping Taylor safe solely on her shoulders. As she looked over her friend, her heart felt heavy. All those months ago, she’d wanted to go home… she hadn’t wanted it at the expense of a good person, someone who she cared about. If any of them had known, they’d have tried to talk Taylor out of it… though of course that would have been why the idiot kept the plan a secret for so long.

Estela blinked awake, and protectively clutched Taylor closer to her chest. She was just so tired, but she was too alert, too anxious to settle.

At the sight of Estela stirring, Zahra moved back, defensive. She scowled instinctively, preparing to be slapped away, but her expression quickly softened. “I… didn’t mean to disturb you.” While the other woman appeared tense, a frown etched onto her face, she seemed accepting of the company. “It’s just weird, you know… it’s been a day or so, but I miss her. She seems far away. Everything that’s going on, she’d be in the middle of it fixing everyone’s stupid problems. Damn Taylor, always the one to hold us all together… without her everything feels… different. I can’t even explain it.”

Estela’s body relaxed a little, and she sat up, intently staring at her companion.

“Good to see you’ve still got your serial killer stare on top form.”

Embarrassed, Estela averted her gaze. “You almost sounded nice for a moment there.”

Zahra sat back on the end of the bed and crossed her legs. “It’s not as if anyone else can hear. Besides, it’s gonna be a  _long_ night if I’m just sitting here in silence watching you sulk.” She paused, self-conscious. “I don’t go around caring about a lot of people. You and Taylor… you matter to me. To be honest, I’m pissed. This whole sacrifice thing is bullshit. Maybe the best person I’ve ever known, and she’s basically been forced to kill herself. It’s seriously screwed up.”

“You’re not wrong.” Estela sighed heavily, flashes of memory whirling through her head. Taylor had been so, so brave; but she never should have had to be. “She did it for you. All of you. Which kinda makes it worse… someone who cares that much shouldn’t be taken away. If she’s gone, I… I don’t know where I go from here…”

For a long while, Zahra said nothing. Probably, she imagined, this might be where two less emotionally repressed people might hug it out. A silent battle raged in her head, before finally, hesitantly, she crawled forward. “C’mere,” she mumbled, avoiding eye contact, while drawing Estela towards her. Strong arms grasped hold of her, the grip painful. She patted her roughly on the back. “For someone so smart, you can be a real dumbass. Whatever happens, we’ve got you, all right? And that’s coming from me.”

Estela slumped against Zahra, taking deep breaths. Everything might fall apart at any moment, but at least she was not alone. Again, it was all because of Taylor. Had it not been for Taylor’s open heart, she couldn’t imagine having the courage to build the bonds she now relied on, to love her friends so deeply. She came away, offering Zahra just a nod of understanding.

With a glance over to Michelle, Zahra moved to get up. “Look, it’s pretty obvious you’re not sleeping anytime soon. Meech looks dead to the world- I could sneak you a coffee. Or something stronger.” A mischievous grin flitted across her face.

“I could really use a rum right now… but I’ve gotta stay alert. You know… just in case.”

“Eh, another time. One caffeine hit coming right up…”

A little while later, she returned with two steaming mugs.

“Colombian, just for you. If you could down it before the doc wakes up and puts my head on a pike, I’d appreciate it.”

“She’d have to go through me first.”

“Aaayyyy, there’s that scary bitch I love!” Zahra sat on the foot of the bed and leaned in to chink her mug to Estela’s. She almost,  _almost_ caught the shadow of a smile. “Here’s to getting through… one long, shitty night at a time.”

Estela looked sadly at Taylor, lying still beside her. “One night at a time…” she murmured.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day brought more of the same; a steady stream of visitors to Taylor’s bedside, while arrangements were made to deal with the broader aftermath of the Catalysts’ time on La Huerta. Estela feigned sleep for most of the day, not having the energy to socialise with well-meaning friends. The occasional dumbass comment from the likes of Craig brought her close to sitting up and chasing them off, but it simply took too much effort. She just lay there quietly as they talked to Taylor, offering their heartfelt thanks and expressing their care and concern. Even as she lay unconscious and broken, Taylor seemed to be the go-to listening ear. Completely drained, Estela would have preferred everyone would just back off. They had their families back- they should leave her with what time she had left with  _her_ family. The love and care they showed was deeply appreciated, but she was  _just so tired_. Raj, at least, had come bearing a piled-up plate of patacones with an array of toppings. Somewhat suspiciously as far as Michelle was concerned, Estela had been wide awake for  _his_ visit. Still, she reasoned, at least her patient was eating, even if she point-blank refused to sleep for more than a few minutes at a time. Small victories…

The woman who’d saved the world kept herself at the centre of everyone’s attention, firstly when she caused another scare -the fifth by Estela’s count- and secondly as a result of her inconvenient official non-existence. Every room she’d stayed in at the Celestial was being methodically ransacked with the hope of recovering a passport. Vaanu had conjured her luggage, so the hope was that somewhere, some hind of official documentation would exist. Zahra was confident that she could get into a government computer and put something together, but there was the unfortunate hurdle being that Taylor was not awake to have a passport photo taken. Quietly, Diego was not averse to the idea of his best friend remaining with him and Varyyn on La Huerta, but he cared for her freedom of choice, and diligently led the search team. After almost giving up, he did a go-over of Taylor and Estela’s hut, and found a spanking new passport beneath a pillow, belonging to one ‘Taylor Montoya’. He gave a happy cry; the name on the document told him that it couldn’t have been created on the plane journey to the island… Vaanu must have had  _some_ hope that she’d survive her sacrifice if they’d left a ticket home as a parting gift.

With a wonderful new optimism, he hurried to Elyys’tel to share the discovery with Estela.

For most of the day, Estela had been despondent. Taylor was existing on a knife edge, and she couldn’t bear it. Hearing her friends relaying conversations they’d had with their loved ones, unable to hide their excitement, it made her heart ache for Taylor.  _She’d_ done that. She’d literally given them the world. But a what the hell was the point of a world if Taylor wasn’t in it? While her friends were taking their lives back, Estela could literally feel hers slipping away. When Diego handed her the passport, it was like salt being poured in the wound. ‘Taylor Montoya’? They’d never had a  _chance_ to be a family together. What did they need a passport for anyway? Taylor wasn’t going anywhere. She was so damn weak that a stiff wind would probably finish her off, if she didn’t simply stop breathing one time too many.

“Estela?”

She pushed the passport back into Diego’s hand. “Uh, thanks.”

“You don’t get it- this wouldn’t have your name on it if Taylor had it the whole time. Vaanu must have given her this when she gave their essence back… she’s meant to come home!”

Estela’s expression was stony. His positivity was that of someone who hadn’t sat awake for most of the night ready for the next close call. He didn’t - _couldn’t-_ understand.

Getting the hint, Diego left, giving one last kiss to Taylor’s forehead. He edged past Jake, who was hovering in the doorway, having pointedly  _not_ taken the hint.

“What’s with the face, Katniss? You’re gonna scare off all your girl’s visitors.”

“If only.”

“Look, it’s been a rough ride, but you two always come up fighting. I’ve got the bruises to prove it. She’s got this.”

Estela growled. “So, we’ve got another doctor? You? It’s pretty clear Taylor’s not going home. If you can’t offer anything that  _actually_ helps, just leave us alone.”

“Wait, you’re serious? You’ve actually given up…?”

Her eyes closed, Estela’s mind flashed with the traumatic memory of Taylor writhing in agony as the light overtook her. “We can’t do anything…”

“This sure as hell ain’t you. Since when do you give up on anything? And this is Princess…”

Turning on a hair, she suddenly snapped, throwing a mug that narrowly missed Jake’s head, smashing instead against the wall. “ _Get out!”_

“Woah- wha-?”

 _“_ Get out  _right now_ , or I will come over there and  _make you_ get out!”

Jake recoiled, startled. “Easy, Katniss… I didn’t mean…”

“Who the fuck do you think you are? Do you have  _any idea_ what this has been like? Feeling her stop breathing again, and again… how many more times? Am I supposed to be pushed to the brink over and over, and act like it’s  _okay_? Just get  _the fuck_  outta my face, asshole.”

Michelle burst into the room, having heard shouting. “What’s-?”

Singed by the glare that bore into him from the bed, Jake slipped towards the door. “I’m leaving… I…” He paused. There was nothing he could say that wouldn’t simply add fuel to the fire, however pure his intentions. He dared meet Estela’s eyes, seeing only fury, but hoping that she’d still feel a friend looking back. With a silent nod, he moved past Michelle and left.

“Estela…”

Her face buried in her hands and shoulders heaving, Estela shook her head. “ _Just go._ I need to be alone.”

 

* * *

 

 

For the next day or so, everyone kept their distance, with no one visiting except when trying to convince Estela to sleep properly. By the time a generously paid doctor made a house call from the mainland, Taylor had survived yet another brief heart-stopping moment, but the professional opinion was to simply keep on doing what was being done. Michelle was pleased with the progress that had been made. Taylor remained fragile, there was no doubt about that, but her pulse and breathing rate had generally improved considerably. If anything, the immediate concern was more for Estela, who seemed to be retreating deeper into herself.

“Hey, Estela,” Diego, on night duty, slumped into the chair, exhausted. He’d nervously kept clear for a little while, but he couldn’t stay away from his stricken friend for long. Such was the nature of his relationship with Taylor, that Estela was far more tolerant of him hanging around her than she was anyone else- except for when Raj brought food. “Taylor’s not been getting up to trouble since I’ve been gone?”

“Still the same,” Estela murmured. She edged over and gently moved Taylor with her, leaving a space on the bed. “You can sit with her if you like.”

That was new. With an appreciative smile, Diego joined them. There was barely enough room, but it felt wonderful to properly get his arms around his dearest friend. Beside them, Estela closed her eyes with a sigh.

“You know, she looks better,” he said. “It’s probably hard to see when you’re stuck to her like glue twenty-four-seven, but she doesn’t look like she needs to fight so hard.”

“Michelle said that. Part of me thinks she’s just trying to trick me into letting my guard down.” Estela had been so reluctant to believe it, fearful of getting her hopes up after so many close calls.

Diego looked over her with concern in his eyes. She looked a wreck, her eyes outlined with dark rings, her hair unkempt. It was hardly a surprise. From the small pieces of information he’d managed to extract, Taylor’s sacrifice had been planned many months ago. Estela had kept it together for an awfully long time, no doubt to make it easier on her partner. Sooner or later, it had to catch up with her.

“How’s your leg?”

“Fine.”

“Did you get any sleep last night?”

Estela just shrugged her shoulders. For a long time, they sat in silence, Diego wondering how he could break through the barriers that only seemed to be getting higher.

“It must be weird… everyone talking to people back home. All happy, excited. I mean, they care about Taylor, they love her, but there’s that nice bit of comfort to take the edge off.”

Finally stirred, Estela opened her eyes and sat up a little. “I’m happy for them. But… it feels so far away. Not important. I can’t even call my  _tio_ while she’s like this.” She paused, considering Diego quietly. “You… haven’t called home?”

He shook his head sadly. “It’s stupid, right? Spend all this time crying over it, but they get resurrected and -whoosh- back to rejection city. I’m happy they’re okay… I just don’t think I can handle them right now.”

“I’m sorry.”

Diego sighed. “Don’t be… it’s been long enough, I know how it is.”

“Bet you could really use your best friend right now. She’d know what to say.”

“Yeah, but at least I can give her a hug. I  _really_ believe she’s gonna wake up. I mean, she’s come this far.” He gave a dry laugh. “I just wish she’d do us all a favour and get on with it… but I’m pretty sure if she was here, she’d tell you to stop being so freaking stubborn and get some sleep.”

Estela rolled her eyes. “Maybe.” She looked over at Diego, her brow furrowed. “What’s wrong with your parents? Is it just… uh… the whole gay thing?”

“Eh, mostly. But even before I came out, I was never what they wanted. ‘Wasting my life away on childish nonsense’, ‘out of touch with the real world’, all of that. When they found out I liked guys, I guess that was just one massive disappointment too many.” Self-conscious, his cheeks flushed, and he awkwardly looked away. It suddenly occurred to him that he’d very rarely had one-on-one conversations with Estela- aside from when they’d speak Spanish together for the sole purpose of teasing Taylor who was very far from bilingual. He’d certainly never delved into anything sensitive.

“I don’t get it. Maybe I’ve spent too long here, where no one gives a damn, but it just seems so tiny a reason to turn on someone you love. You don’t deserve that. You’re a good person, one of the best.”

“Thanks,” said Diego with a weak smile. “See, you’re not  _all_ that bad at the best friend pep talk. I could hire you as a short-term fill-in.”

“No.”

He laughed. “You didn’t… know… you know, before Taylor?” he ventured. “That you liked girls? No one in your family would have known?”

As if by reflex, Estela held Taylor a little closer. “I didn’t have feelings like that for anyone. There wasn’t room in my life for that. I mean, there still wasn’t room when Taylor came along, but for her… it didn’t matter anymore. She was just… special, I guess. I don’t even know what Tio Nicolas would think. He has strong opinions about things.”

“Like you.”

“Almost. He still can’t beat me in an argument. But I think he would be okay. He’s seen a lot of war, and hate, people dying. When you’ve got that perspective, it doesn’t make any sense to get riled up over someone loving another person.”

Diego was thoughtful for a moment. “Huh. Maybe if San Trobida has another civil war, you should enlist my parents.”

In spite of herself, Estela giggled. “If they fight like you? Not a chance in hell.” With a glance to Taylor’s still face, she caught herself and sighed.  _Was_ she improving? Afraid to hope, she struggled to see it. But Diego did. It was clear in his face. Once in despair, he now looked at Taylor as if there was something left in her.

“Hey…” he said, “she’d want you to take care of yourself. She’s been stable for more than a day now; I think the worst is over. Go take a shower, put on some fresh clothes, and  _actually_ get some rest. You’ll feel better, and maybe you won’t feel the need to throw projectiles at visitors anymore. Otherwise, poor Taylor’s gonna wake up to a miserable zombie in her bed, and I’ll have to go through the trouble of getting you two together all over again.”

Estela gave him a filthy look. She hesitated, but then gingerly got out of bed. “You won’t leave her…”

“Not a chance.” As she limped out the door, Diego thought to himself,  _I absolutely cannot believe that worked._

 

It was some twelve hours later when Estela finally awoke, properly rested after several days of what she was pretty sure amounted to torture. Taylor was fine. No scares. It was clearly not over, not by a long shot, but the hope she felt was no longer false, simple, angry defiance… it was real. Just maybe, Taylor might be strong enough to come back to her. Even as she thought it, though, she held herself back.  _You can’t drop your guard. She could be gone at any moment._

There were footsteps outside the door, then a voice. “Knock, knock?”

Estela felt heat rising behind her ears.  _Jake._ This could be awkward. “You can come in,” she grumbled.

“No weapons on hand?” When he received no response, Jake entered the room. “It’s been a while… thought I’d better check in.” He looked her over cautiously, trying to read her mood. It would be so much easier if she didn’t have a near-permanent frown. He approached the bed, uncomfortably avoiding eye contact. “Look, I…”

“Wait! I uh… I…” She gave a little huff, embarrassed. “I’m sorry. It was never about you. I just couldn’t hold the anger back anymore.”

“Hey, I know that. I’m sorry for the most spectacularly flubbed pep talk in recent history. Honestly, Katniss, after everything you’ve been dealt, I reckon you’re entitled to a dummy spit. We’re just lucky it was me; if you’d unleashed that on Brainstrust, she’d still be cryin’ now.”

“Grace wouldn’t be stupid enough to go around pushing my buttons. But it… means a lot, you know, that you understand.” Her shoulders slumped. It all seemed to catch up with her all at once. The weight of her sadness, and that gut-churning fear. “It didn’t make me feel any better. This isn’t your fault… it’s not anyone’s fault. There’s no one to hunt down, to punish for this.”

“Ya know, I don’t think she’d want that for you anyway.”

“No. She wouldn’t. But I don’t know what to do.” Estela looked into Jake’s face searchingly.

“Look, I… I don’t have the answers for ya. But I’m not goin’ anywhere. We can talk, get a back and forth goin’. Sooner or later, our Princess’ll have to wake up just to tell me to shut my smartass mouth.”

Estela gave a rare smile, even as she rolled her eyes. “ _Cabron…”_  And then, seemingly out of nowhere, the tears came, fast and uncontrollable.

For a moment, Jake froze, but then he sat beside her and rubbed her back as she dissolved into sobs. “’S all right. But please don’t tell her I made ya cry…”

Estela laughed through her tears but couldn’t keep them from coming. So much had been bottled up for too long. After an age, the tears slowed, and she was left hiccoughing into her friend’s shoulder.

“Feel better?”

“Maybe… a little. I’m just… sorry I lost my shit with you. This has just been…” She shuddered.

“Water under the bridge. But, if you wanna talk…? The usual host of sharin’ circle can’t be with us, but I’ll try and keep the sarcastic comments to a minimum.”

Estela nodded, but for a long while remained quiet. Some things she didn’t talk about, not to anyone. Not to anyone except for Taylor. But, she told herself, Taylor was right there with her. She grasped her wife’s soft hands gently.

“This… isn’t easy…”

“Ya don’t have to-“

“No, I… I do.” She took a deep breath. “So… uh…just before I got the letter saying my mother had died, she wrote to me, begging for help. She knew her life was in danger, that she was running out of time. Tio Nicolas and I did everything we could, but there was no getting anyone in or out of La Huerta without going through Rourke. I’d been trained all my life to take care of myself, but the only person I wanted to protect was so far away, and scared… and I couldn’t reach her. This… feels the same. I’m helpless, Jake. I can see Taylor right there in front of me, but she might as well be miles away. And the whole damn time I know that any second she could be ripped away from me forever, like Mom was. I can’t stand it.”

Jake rubbed her shoulder pacifyingly. “I think I’m getting why you took my head off…”

“Touchy area, yeah. For so long I wasn’t scared of anything, I figured I had nothing to lose. But then I found Taylor. And now…”

“… now you’re basically re-living your worst nightmare come true.”

Estela bit her lip, holding back from crying, and nodded. “It must have been like this for you… with Mike. I’m sorry. I just…  _miss_ her.”

For a few moments, Jake was quiet, forced into reflection. He certainly did know that feeling; having survived what should have been the worst trauma of his life, only to go through it all over again. Meeting Estela’s eyes, he felt the understanding that flowed between him and her. “Hug it out?”

Comforting as the embrace of a good friend was, it was hard for Estela not to yearn for Taylor even more. No one could hold her the way she used to. Taylor could put her arms around her and somehow ease every pain in her heart. The only other person who had that healing touch upon Estela had been her mother. But Jake… he cared, and it meant a lot.

“She’s comin’ through this, all right? It’s just a damn shame she’s deaf to your snoring… anyone else would’ve woken up by now and smothered you with a pillow.”

“I don’t-“

Jake snorted. “Got it, got it. My mistake. I’m obviously confusing you with some other freight train.”

Estela smiled appreciatively and held tighter. “I’m not giving up. I might lose my mind, but it doesn’t matter how long it takes. I won’t leave her.”

“So, we’ll keep talkin’ to her. She’ll hear. I mean, this is our Princess. Listening to everyone offload their shit on her is pretty much her thing.”

“I hope you’re right.” Estela said softly. She leaned back over to her wife and lovingly stroked a hair from her face before kissing her brow. “You’ll come back to us, Taylor. There are a lot of people missing you right now. I miss you. I miss you every goddamn minute of every day.”

Jake reached his hand out to take Taylor’s. “We’re not leaving you in peace, so you’d better get used to the idea. Sort yourself out, Princess. You might have brought the world back, but there’s no way in hell we’re leavin’ crazy island without you.”


	5. Through the Fog

_Over time, the darkness that had enveloped Taylor’s consciousness faded into a shroud of black mist. Was she dead? She couldn’t be sure. It felt as though she was floating through a cloud, her senses muffled, and the vaguest of shapes and sounds… like voices whispered on the wind… surrounding her. Taylor had no sense of the passing of time, if time even existed in this place… wherever she was._

_Through the fog, Taylor could make out a face, blurred and indistinct. She tried to focus, to see, but the effort overreached her, and she fell helplessly back into nothingness. And then the figure returned to her. How long had it been? Was this figure... waiting… for her? Careful not to push the boundaries of her senses, she allowed her vague surroundings to wash over her until the face came into focus. There was an aching familiarity in those dark, serious eyes._

_Estela?_

_“Taylor…” The face was older and yet less battle-weary than it should have been._

_A strange jolt pulsed through Taylor. It didn’t speak well for her mortality if she was seeing ghosts._

_“You’re Olivia… Estela’s mom. I’m… dead?”_

_Olivia looked upon Taylor with warmth and insatiable curiosity. “No. You’re not dead. You can hear voices? Not clearly, but they’re there. Those are the people around you.”_

_“Then, how?”_

_“It seems as though you are walking a tightrope between one plane and the other. Not really standing in either, but close enough to reach. You have a gift for speaking with your mind… your essence seems to invite company.”_

_Taylor tried to take it in. Her memories, her sense of self, it was all shaky, but she could recall a blazing light and a great transfer of energy that seemed to drain her very being. Vaanu’s spirit had left her, leaving behind… what?_

_As if able to reach into her thoughts, Olivia said, “The energy, the same energy that the crystals held, it seems to have returned to its source. It looks as though you developed your humanity from the ties you shared with your friends… first the manufactured bond with Mr Soto, and then those you formed on your own.” Her expression became deeply sad. “I owe you a deep debt of gratitude. You’ve done what I never could. For Estela. I knew about you; the second Omega Specimen… you’re not what I expected.” Her hand reached out and brushed Taylor’s, giving not a physical touch, but the sharing of an emotional state._

_Suddenly overwhelmed, Taylor’s senses blurred. She felt happy… the emotion pouring into her from outside, and yet there was a wave of melancholy that followed through. It was simply… love. A love for someone so precious, and so far away. Slowly regaining her focus, she locked eyes with Olivia, silently asking the question that mattered most._

_“I believe,” Olivia said, hesitantly, “that you’ve been left with just enough regenerative energy to rebuild what you had. This energy source, the capability it had to create was astronomical. But it’s the human part of you that needs to take you the rest of the way. If you reach out to them… I believe they can bring you home.”_

_Everything became hazy once more, as echoes of memories surrounded Taylor, driven by the growing urge to be back with her friends- with her family. As she focused, they came to her. Sitting beside Diego on the plane… the boozy bar crawl with Craig and Zahra, and Raj’s famous peace feast that followed…_

_“That’s it… try to remember. Embrace who you are.”_

_The wordless voices that swirled all around her felt closer somehow. Within the slurred stream, she picked up distinct sounds, and slowly, they formed words, disjointed as though she was listening through a radio that kept cutting out._

_“Taylor… come… you… me… Taylor…Taylor… love…”_

_Her eyes swam with a vision, a memory, so vivid that it seemed to fill her whole being. Estela sat alone on the grassy hill, her eyes meeting Taylor’s across the pool front, seemingly oblivious to anyone else. With no words, calling her._

_“I want,” Taylor said shakily, reaching back through to Olivia, who blurred out of focus, further and further away, “to go back to her. I want to be with them.”_

_“Try,” came Olivia’s voice, muffled now. Her eyes were wet. “Please try. I need you to hold her for me.”_

_And then Taylor was alone again. She gave a dry sob. “… Don’t… don’t go…”_

_Of course, it made sense. She had shifted towards the plane of the living. That she’d been reachable at all was a miracle. To carry on in the direction she needed to follow, she could only be alone. Was this what could become of her? Eternal solitude in some misted void if she couldn’t quite reach home? Even as the deepest of fears tried to ensnare her, Taylor would not allow herself to hold onto it. No. She was going back. Calmly, careful not to push so hard as to overwhelm herself again, she let herself hear, and feel, and remember. She was still there, and she was fighting._

* * *

 

 

The mood in the medical room had taken a turn. Estela wasn’t sure what it was; Taylor still looked the same, there had been no measurable change, but she felt different. It was unexplainable, but she didn’t care. Something had shifted, and for the first time, Estela began to truly believe that they might come through the other side of this nightmare… together.

 With Estela rather more rested, and rather less moody, the near constant presence of visitors resumed, now welcomed. With a greater hope that Taylor might be reachable, her bedside became much busier. Sean, eager as always to take good care of his loved ones, joined round the clock rotation of helpers, which had resulted in a much-needed heart to heart with the head of the team, Michelle. As Taylor began to show signs of improvement, he busied himself with arranging for his mother to join him on La Huerta for a couple of days. Naturally, he talked Taylor through all his plans and showered her with love and gratitude. Raj expressed his affections by feeding Estela and the ‘Taylor team’. A lot. With newfound access to the outside world, he was suddenly faced with the ability to source whatever ingredients he wanted… and the resulting dishes were ecstatically experimental, and just excitingly different to anything they’d become accustomed to on La Huerta. The taste of home gave everyone a welcome buzz of optimism. Diego spent most of his time plastered to Taylor’s side, and having endured several gruelling days of emotional turmoil together, he and Estela had become quite close. In Diego’s words, he was her sidekick’s sidekick, and that was a very precious relationship that few people could understand.

 Even Aleister, who had mostly kept his distance out of uncertainty of how to provide emotional support to his sister, began coming by frequently. He and Grace would keep Estela in good supply of books, knowing that there was not a whole lot to keep her occupied. Sometimes they’d quietly read side by side, enjoying the company but not needing to force conversation for conversation’s sake. Aleister mentioned only briefly that he’d been dealing with the Costa Rican authorities in the declaration and inevitable fall-out of their father’s death, but for the time being omitted details of the actions he’d taken to keep Estela safe. _That_ was something he’d own up to once her emotional state was not so vulnerable. He simply let her know that Rourke had not been a popular man with the government, and that no one seemed particularly upset by his loss. In the wider world, of course, there was a great deal of conjecture, but locally, it seemed the authorities were happy enough to put it down to ‘just strange La Huerta business’. That people never returned from the island was not newsworthy; it was of no great surprise that a man who claimed the place as his private property would meet a sticky end. Estela had far more important people to think about than the now long-dead monster who’d caused her a world of grief, and was relieved that Aleister broached the subject with her only briefly.

 That morning saw Zahra and Craig bring out the game console they’d found at the Elysian lodge. Diego, an ever-present fixture at Taylor’s side, had pushed the two hospital beds together and was doing his darnedest not to get completely thrashed by the vastly more experienced players. Having tired of a fast-paced combat game… and the accompanied grumbling by Estela about how pointless and unrealistic the virtual fighting was, they’d fallen back on dependable old Mario Kart, something that Diego actually had a clue on how to play.

Smirking, Zahra pushed a controller into Estela’s hands. “Here. This one you can play without fear of getting shown up.”

“Wha- I wasn’t…”

Craig laughed. “Come _ooooon_!”

_Drinking in the sounds that floated through to her, Taylor could make out the voices, calling as if from a great distance. She knew that Craig was there, no doubt about it. The others were harder to make out, but he was loud and forceful as ever. To hear him made her feel warm and happy, as though she was being surrounded by a great, big, bear hug. His laughter was reassuring… everyone must be all right. Other voices became louder, more aggressive. Were they playing a game? Expecting to find Zahra’s snarky tone in the chaotic mixture, she was not disappointed. Taylor’s mind took her back to that New Year’s Eve, visions flashing before her of a room in the Elysian Lodge… it felt like a lifetime ago now. She’d helped Craig and Zahra out with seeking the cable they needed to fire up an old gaming console, and for a good hour or so, she’d played along with them, getting caught up in all the same competitive banter and trash talk. Even when she’d just sat back and watched as she left it to the experts, she’d been happy. How could she not be? The two of them… they’d found something in one another thought lost. To be witness to something wonderful being rekindled, Taylor felt lucky. As the visions flowed through her, she felt fuller, more complete. This, she knew, was what Olivia had meant. These people, her family… they were what had made her the person she was. And they would always be her way forward._

_As the game ramped up, Taylor managed to hear the other two voices just enough. Diego was there… her sweet, wonderful Diego. Of course he was staying close; he was as devoted as a friend could be. And, as she’d been sure would have been the case… Estela. Quiet beside her over-excited companions, but right there, no doubt stubbornly protective. Taylor ached to reach out to her, to give some kind of reassurance that it wasn’t over, not by a long shot. Instead, all she could do was to try and feel that strong presence, and to let the memories overtake her… heal her. But there was something new… something probing her consciousness, seeking her out. Taylor felt a swoop of excitement- Varyyn was close, and he was trying to contact her. This, she knew, was the chance she needed._

_Summoning all the strength and focus she could muster, she reached out her mind. The effort was staggering, and Taylor felt herself tumble back into oblivion. She never heard the shouts of jubilation that erupted around her, nor could she know that her message had come through._

_“I’m still here… I need you.”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 With Taylor having made a significant breakthrough, and the medical room really needing to be used as less of a gathering point, Michelle cautiously facilitated the moving of her two patients to their own home, where it would be easier to manage the crowds of well-wishers. Taking only the minimum equipment needed to be safe, she settled Taylor in her bed. Michelle had made Estela agree, rather begrudgingly, to be carried by Jake piggyback-style, but judging by the time taken before she finally hobbled in the front door, she’d stubbornly walked most of the way herself. A wheelchair had been brought over from the medical room, in an attempt to keep Estela off her leg. No one expected it would get much use. Though she rarely left Taylor’s side, when she did, Estela found herself perfectly capable of getting around. She knew her own body, and Michelle’s approach was to her mind excessively cotton-woolly. Though she grumbled, and threw out death glares the likes of which would make almost anyone else wither away, she truly appreciated her friend’s obvious care for her. Had she been alone through the past harrowing days, everything would have felt utterly bleak. In the evenings, when the room was quiet -and even Diego had finally cleared off for the night- Michelle came to use Taylor and Estela’s bed as her go-to study spot, spreading out her books and having Estela quiz her as she went. Now that medical school was once again on the horizon, if a year and a half behind schedule, it was full steam ahead, and Michelle pored over her books like a woman possessed. When Quinn came searching for her one night, she found her crashed out, curled up in a ball beneath Estela’s arm.

“Awww!”

“I think Michelle’s over-extending herself…”

“Don’t worry,” said Quinn, “I’ll take good care of her. I might help her down to the couch, give you two some time alone. Especially now it seems like Taylor might actually be hearing us now.”

Estela desperately hoped she could. She talked to Taylor in spurts through the day, usually when there was no third-or-fourth-or-fifth wheel hanging around the bed. It was hard to know what to say after a while. Everything that mattered, Taylor already knew. But she kept talking to her; little whispers and words of reassurance. She told her that she trusted her to come through. That she was getting pretty suspicious that there was something going on between Quinn and Michelle. That they were already putting together the bare bones of a plan to clear Jake’s name. That Raj’s room service ‘pity meals’ were getting more and more extravagant by the day- not that Estela complained. That Diego appeared to be worryingly close to seeing Estela as a stand-in best friend, and had set up Netflix in the room at first opportunity so they could all watch TV together. But mostly, just that she loved her.

_“I love you too…”_

_For all the patchiness of what managed to reach her, Taylor could always make out those words. Probably, she thought, because she had no doubt they were being said. She’d heard them out Estela’s mouth enough times by now._

 Finally alone with Taylor, Estela could relax.

“Just you and me now, _cari_ _ńa_ … just us.”

She adjusted her pillow, taking care not to disturb Taylor, who lay right beside it, an expression of serene calm on her still face. A scrap of paper fell out from the pillowcase.

“Wha…” As she took the paper in her fingers, a glimpse of too-familiar hand-writing made her heart pound. “Taylor, you…”

With shaking hands, she unfolded the paper and read.

 

_“Estela,_

_So, I guess we’ve done it. I’ve finally worked up the guts to do what I always had to do. And you got me there. I honestly don’t know how you’ve kept it together for me all these months. If it wasn’t for your incredible courage in the face of losing everything, we wouldn’t have been able to make the time we did have so perfect. You made my life -even if those short months turn out to be all I’m entitled to- one that I would not change for anything._

_I hope I can find a way to be with you. We should never be parted, but I think we both know this universe is too screwy for ‘should’ to hold any weight. If it’s all I have left to give, you’ll have me in the ways you’ve grown since we’ve been together. When you trust yourself to give of yourself, to love and be loved, that will be a little part of me left behind. Be happy. Obviously, you’ll cry a little bit… or a lot. I’ll be pretty offended if you don’t, to be honest. And if it makes you feel better, take a few swings at Top Gun- he’s a big boy, he can take it. But please, my love, please… let yourself be happy._

_I wish I knew the words to tell you just how much you’ve filled my heart, how you can make the worst day bearable with just a glance or a smile, and how much I completely, utterly and unflinchingly love you. I wish I knew the words to tell you just how remarkable you are, my Estela, my starlight. But I think you already know. We have our way of understanding one another… some primal connection that goes to the heart of us. So, I know you don’t need me to spell it out. You know. As you read this, you’re probably remembering the moments leading up to the end- no doubt my actual goodbye was an absolute blubbering mess. I hope this letter will give you a way of hearing my voice in your head, the final heart-to-heart we never had. Whatever becomes of me, that love will never leave you._

_With a thousand kisses,_

_Taylor”_

 Estela hastily wiped away her tears, fearful of smudging the writing, but they kept coming. Giving in to it, she cried against Taylor’s shoulder, overflowing with gratitude for her gift, and sorrow that the voice that should have been speaking those words remained still. Typical Taylor, always finding room for one more surprise…

The door creaked, and Quinn’s pale face peered through. “I thought I heard crying… are you okay? I can leave you if you prefer.”

With a sniff and a little laugh, Estela sat up. “It’s just…” she sighed. “Taylor.”

“Is she all right? Do you need me to get Michelle?”

“No, no, she’s fine. She just…” She lifted the piece of paper. “She left a note for me in the pillow. I guess she figured I hadn’t been through enough emotional walloping, so she threw in another punch.”

Quinn couldn’t help but smile. “That is definitely a very ‘Taylor’ thing to do. I mean, the letter- not the punch. I think if she could, she’d tell you how much she loved you every minute of every day. I’ve always loved how openly affectionate she is, how thoughtful. If you were special to her, she’d never let you forget it.” She carefully studied Estela’s face, trying to ascertain what she needed from her. This really was a personal moment, and she didn’t want to intrude where she wasn’t welcome. “I can leave you be…”

Estela shook her head. “I can see you’re dying to do your hug thing. You and Taylor have a very similar ‘desperate-to-cuddle-that-person’ face.” As Quinn burst into giggles, she added. “I appreciate that you came to check up on me. You’re too good.”

“I don’t know about that,” said Quinn, putting her arms around her friend. “More like… just good enough. At least when it comes to my specialties of cuddles and cupcakes.”

Her head nestled in the crook of Quinn’s neck, the sweet scent of a fruity shampoo filling her senses, Estela looked over to Taylor, who appeared as though she was sleeping peacefully. She’d be content, knowing that Estela was surrounded by friends, and, day by day… coping.

“Quinn, I… had a thought.”

“Hmmm?”

“What Varyyn said… she needs _us_. All of us, together, the same way we faced everything. We can’t give that to her here.”

Quinn became thoughtful. “We could go back to the Celestial?”

“Or, we let Raj work his magic. He seems to think he can solve any problem by throwing alcohol, food and loud music at it; maybe we should give it a shot. Everyone would be around, just having a good time…”

“Just coming together as a family?”

“Something like that.” Estela shook her head, unable to believe she was suggesting such a thing. Several nights ago, even the _notion_ of something resembling a party would have sent her into a furious spiral. Taylor had said it though… Love and let yourself be loved. Be happy. Perhaps they could both be healed. “Does that sound insane? We can’t just drag an unconscious person around a party.”

Quinn’s eyes, though, were bright with excitement. “We’ll work something out- even if I have to beg Michelle just a little bit. Honestly, insane or not, I think that’s what we all need after everything that’s happened. Sometimes I feel like my head’s gonna explode trying to make sense of it all… Taylor… talking to my parents again… having to _deal with_ my parents again… Kele…”

“Michelle?”

Again, Quinn giggled, and her cheeks flushed red. “We’d wondered if you’d noticed. But, yes, _that_ too. Taylor would be very pleased with how things are going.”

“I’m sorry if she’s tried to interfere; Diego’s a bad influence.”

“What I was trying to say was that… I think we all need to unwind, and just… be there for one another. All together.”

Estela settled back down into the bed. “That sounds nice. I think she’d like it if we did that for her.” She snuggled in, missing as she always did, the sweet comfort of Taylor snuggling right back into her. She looked back at Quinn, who was padding towards the door. “You sleep well.” She gave a little smirk. “You and Michelle.”

“And to you two.”

_Amid the murmurs, the jumbled sounds, Taylor once again made out the words that mattered._

“I love you, Taylor.” Estela tenderly kissed her wife’s cheek.

_“I love you, Estela.”_

* * *

 

 

 

_There was music playing, low beats that vibrated through Taylor’s being. There were so many voices, all talking over one another, wonderfully chaotic. The feeling was familiar. It had never needed much of an excuse to get everyone together for a lively shindig. That past year, they’d celebrated just about everything… taking comfort in one another while building new traditions. Obviously, all the birthdays, as well as the requisite six-monthly multi-birthday celebrations. Christmas had been Taylor’s favourite. They’d all hiked up for a holiday getaway at the Elysian Lodge, which they decorated spectacularly with glowing red and green flowers, and a shedload of decorations found in the Celestial’s holiday stash. She heavily suspected that riding around on the back of a yeti, in full Santa costume and lobbing gifts at his friends from a great height had been a highlight of Craig’s year too. But it was just like this… they all gathered together around a delicious meal, laughing and talking. Almost without fail, someone would have a little too much to drink, there’d be some ridiculous brief spat over something petty, and then they’d all collapse, happy and exhausted. How she longed to be a part of it, to be with her friends. She could almost… she could almost feel it, like she was there, not set apart, trapped by her weakened body._

Grace sat down on the little bed that had been put up for Taylor in the corner of the echoey hall, just beside the long table where all their friends were already clamouring for food.

“We hope you like it, Taylor,” she said. “We’ve thrown a lot of feasts during our time, but this one’s especially for you. To thank you.” She kissed her friend’s forehead and leaned close in the hope that her words might come through. “I… spent a lot of my life looking up to my mother, trying to match her, to be good enough. I _had_ to be successful. The thing is, I didn’t really know what successful was before I met you. You listen to the people you care about, you appreciate them for exactly who and what you are, you nurture their dreams… and their happiness is your happiness. You made me feel like I could be proud just to be me. I’m so very, _very_ glad you showed up on that plane with us. Please join us again soon… you might have been Vaanu’s missing piece, but now you’re ours.”

 Estela quietly joined them, settling herself just away from the dinner table so she could remain close to Taylor.

“I really think she’s going to wake up,” Grace said, her eyes still on Taylor’s still face. “It’s so easy to forget when you see her every day, but she’s come so far already. When I first saw her, she really was pale as a ghost. If it wasn’t for the tiny movement of her chest, I would have thought we’d already lost her. And now… she looks as though she’s sleeping peacefully. Just waiting for the right moment.”

Estela nodded, but said nothing. This had turned out to be an emotional experience. Seeing Taylor lying there as if asleep, with a feeding tube sticking out of her, and not an eyelid flicker of a response to the activity around her was unsettling. She just looked so small and helpless. Even knowing how far she’d come, she appeared vulnerable, and it made Estela nervous. She realised that she’d never really joined in these big family get-togethers _without_ Taylor by her side. It was difficult to shake the feeling that something was missing.

“It really is fascinating to see her recovery,” Grace was saying, as Aleister took the chair beside Estela.

“You don’t mind if I join you. I presumed, with Taylor’s presence, this would be the less rowdy end of the table.”

“That’s a fair assumption.” Estela looked up the table. It was an almost perfect rowdiness scale, to be honest, from an unconscious Taylor at one end to Craig at the other.

Aleister gave a polite nod of acknowledgement before beginning to eat, and felt his cheeks flush as he remembered that she couldn’t actually see him. “Er, yes. I quite agree, Grace.” He pointedly ignored Estela as she stifled a laugh at his expense. “She’s in what we would call a comatose state, yet her body is rebuilding, becoming something new. There must have been very little left within Taylor if the greater life form was set free… and yet, even from the most minute sparks of life…”

“…she’s coming back to us.”

 Estela picked at her food as she listened to their musings. It was all very interesting, she supposed, but she imagined she’d be more concerned with the how’s and why’s once Taylor had finished with all this extraordinary rebuilding. She changed the subject. “So, Grace, are you gonna pay your mom a visit?”

“Hmmm… that’s actually a difficult question. I know I’m _going_ to, I just don’t know when. We spoke on the phone. I hoped it would clear the air… it’s been _such_ a long time… but I hung up afterwards and I just felt terrible. Terrible like I haven’t felt in so long. Somewhere down the line, I need to confront her, to finally put everything I feel out on the table. I just… don’t know if I’m there yet.”

Aleister took Grace’s hand and clasped it in both of his. “When the time comes, you can rest assured that I will be cheering in your corner. I could write your mother a book about how brilliant, sensitive, and utterly marvellous you are, but I feel my words would hold more meaning to your ears.”

“Well, I hope she realises what she’s got,” Estela said, smiling to herself at Aleister’s gushing. He absolutely worshipped the ground Grace walked on, and she couldn’t say such devotion was misplaced. For all the heartache and drama of those early days, so long ago now, they had each found in the other exactly what they needed.

Grace gave a sheepish little smile. “Thank you, Estela. I hope so too. But what matters is that we’re our own family now… a family that gives love and support without conditions. The more I think about it, the less I _care_ what my mother thinks.”

Estela returned the smile. She knew that Grace was not just talking about the Catalysts as a family, but their small band of relations, tied together by genetics or marriage. She’d been reluctant… or rather, the idea had filled her with a violent urge to stab things… but she’d come to accept Aleister as her brother, and cared for him and Grace rather more deeply than she’d like to let on. She supposed living on an island with someone for a year could do that to you.

 With the buffet dinner complete, Aleister sat beside Taylor, reading to her from ‘Pride and Prejudice’, hoping that it would appeal to her romantic nature. Having had been quite at a loss as to what to say to someone who, to be frank, was hardly there at all, he’d fallen back on the reliability of classic literature.

  _Taylor could hear Aleister talking close to her, even amid the jumble of voices all around. His stood out with ease; his accent and almost exaggerated enunciation could not be mistaken. He’d been reading that book to her over the past couple of days. She got lost trying to follow what he read, but it nonetheless felt nice. It had taken some searching to find it, but she’d become well acquainted with Aleister’s sweeter side. After Grace, it was she who he’d first began to warm to, and they rekindled their friendship almost immediately after he’d made his allegiance to the other Catalysts clear. He and Grace had always good company. And it was always the both of them; both seemed more secure in themselves with the other present. The conversations they shared with Taylor were so different to those she had with anyone else. They could animatedly discuss art, history, science… for hours. Taylor was always listening more than contributing much, but they always appreciated her earnest curiosity. She could almost feel the library around her… a steaming mug of hot chocolate in her hands as her friends took her into their world of unlimited wonder and learning._

“You’re reading to her now?” Estela asked as she returned with more drinks. “Without me?”

“And here I thought Regency era romance was ‘boring’?”

“It kind of is, but you went and got me invested.”

Jake, who walked by at what by Estela’s reckoning was very much the wrong time, gave a shout of laughter. “Never fear, Katniss, your secret’s safe with me.” He smirked as she flushed a deep red. “Or should that be Darcy? I’m not seeing you as the Elizabeth Bennett of the relationship…”

Aleister cleared his throat. “Some impressive name dropping for someone unfamiliar with the works of Austen…”

Choking on his drink, Jake turned on his heel and started in the other direction. “Hey- I’ve got a sister- she was studying it in high school!”

Estela laughed into her beer. “Well, at least Taylor’s an appreciative audience.”

The evening rolled on timelessly as their feasts always did. The space around Taylor’s bed, as anticipated, drew everyone in, a loving and supportive circle forming around her. Or at least they were supportive of _her_ , if not always one another, as was the case when Craig realised he’d downed his creamy cocktail a little too quickly.

“Could you please _not_ vomit while I’m trying to read to Taylor? We’re trying to convince her to re-join us in the land of the living and _not_ flee into some unknown void where mercifully she might never again have her ears assaulted by your bodily functions!”

Quinn brought out a cake, carefully shaped and decorated in the form of a dinosaur, which bore an uncanny resemblance to the oryctoraptor. As everyone raised their glasses to Taylor, Quinn began dishing out her creation, giving Estela the leg from the knee down to take a bite out of.

 Everyone fell about laughing as Estela hid her face in her hands, unable to stop herself from doubling over. If anyone could get away with making a jab at her sometimes-violent sense of justice, it was Quinn… especially if she was going to do it with cake.

 In their circle, which seemed to huddle in tighter as time went on, they all reminisced, looking back over what would no doubt be the most incredible period of their lives. There was laughter… a lot of laughter, and a small amount of cake flinging, for what was a party without at least a little food fight? For a little while, they played truth or dare, which resulted in a dramatic reading of the pivotal romantic scene in ‘Pride and Prejudice’ as performed by a delightfully drunken duo of Sean and Jake with impressive conviction, a moving turning point in a relationship once fraught with egotistical rivalry. Tears were shed. Everyone agreed it to be tragic that Sean’s mom had returned home a day too soon to see his star turn as Lizzy.

With such highlights as Raj drinking a concoction that looked like dishwater but actually contained vodka, coffee, white wine and gravy; Varyyn dancing Gangnam Style, and an awful lot of kissing, with just about every possible combination of participants, the game went on and on, only dissolving as everyone -bar the responsible doctor on duty- became too inebriated to keep track of whose turn it was. By that point, Michelle was happy to let the game fizzle out before someone got hurt.

_Taylor soaked it all in. The shouts, the laughter… it left her swimming in flashes of memory, more of them than she could comprehend. All those times she’d been there, egging on her friends, giggling hysterically. How could drunken shenanigans be so meaningful? She supposed it was that desperately needed bit of fun that had made the trials they faced bearable. It wasn’t so much the parties that mattered, but the people who were a part of them._

 When truth-or-dare became too much like hard work, a session of soulful, if largely skill-less, serenading of Taylor began in earnest, firstly with Diego pulling out his entire repertoire of friendship songs from stage and screen, before the whole gang joined in.

_The singing… it took Taylor back to that New Year’s Eve… Michelle sang for them. Taylor had been entranced by her beautiful voice, ringing clear against a snowy night. This singing… was not like that._

By the end of the night, Jake finally managed to prise a tipsy Estela away from her protective post as Taylor’s guard, coaxing her into a wrestling match on the floor in blatant disregard to Michelle’s scowling. Within minutes, it had turned into a tickle fight, and it became a free for all.

“Will you _please_ be careful- that leg is healing!”

Estela and Diego tumbled together beneath the table, gasping with laughter as they jostled for prime tickling position. It was as if the worry and grief from the days’ past had left them, and they’d come out of it an unlikely pair. Just as she had her fingers an inch away from her opponent’s neck, Estela’s body was jolted by an immense hiccough, and she cracked her head against the tabletop. Seizing his moment, Diego became a tickling machine, leaving Estela a spluttering mess before him.

“Shit, Katniss. Ever hiccupped so hard you lost a fight to _Diego?”_

“I’m not even gonna bother being offended by that- _I won!”_

Varyyn beamed. “I am so proud of you. Ten points to Hufflepuff!” As everyone snorted into their drinks, he became concerned. “Is this not how the point system works?”

Estela just laughed, and her whole body spasmed with a violent hiccough. “On that note… I think I’m done. Can someone give me a hand with Taylor?” She tried to get up, and realised quickly that a combination of alcohol and a banged-up leg were going to make manoeuvring _herself_ a challenge.

“I’m not gonna say ‘I told you so…’” Michelle said under her breath. Rolling her eyes, she helped Estela to her feet. “Its honestly a relief to see you laughing.

_A steady stream of voices framed with laughter, one after the other, each coming close, talking to her and her alone. “I love you.” Again, and again. With each voice she felt a part of herself, shining through her consciousness in the form of memory. The essence of who she was. And then… Taylor was sure she felt strong arms around her, holding her close to a heartbeat, carrying her. The connection she had with her body was weak, but as she searched for that feeling, that sense of touch, it returned to her. She was almost there… and she could feel her friends all around her… keeping her safe… making her whole._

 

* * *

 

 

 

At last, quiet. With Taylor propped into a comfortable position for the night, Estela flopped down beside her, feeling a tingling warmth all through her body. At least the hiccups had stopped. That she’d been relaxed enough to drink a few beers was something in itself; in the wake of her wife’s sacrifice, her body had been tightly wound, ready to leap to protect the one she loved at any second. But now she could see the change… she could _feel it_. Had Taylor not spoken through Varyyn, Estela would have believed it all the same. Taylor was still with them. She looked over her adoringly. Her Taylor… stronger than any person she’d ever known. When Estela closed her eyes and imagined their future together, the belief in it that had been shaky since Taylor had first shared her intentions to restore the world… the belief was firm and true. And the faith made her heart sing.

“Psst- _Taylor!”_ Estela giggled. _Yeah, shit. One drink too many._ “Taylor, _mi amor_ , _mi bella durmiente_ , _mi señora de otro mundo_ … I love you. So. Very. Much.” She rolled onto her belly and caterpillar crawled up the pillow to give her a kiss- aiming for her cheek but getting her ear instead. “You’re not gonna remember that I was pissed, are you? I’m just a little… a _little_ bit…” As she sank into her pillow, tiredness snuck up on Estela like a TacoNinja. _A TacoNinja?,_ she wondered. _Fucking Raj giving me weird drunk thoughts…_ “But you’re coming home… you’re coming home… _estas viniendo a casa_ … coming… home…”

Watching the hypnotic rise and fall of Taylor’s chest beside her, affection bubbled in Estela’s heart, making her giddy… though the drinks helped. She huddled in close, her face nuzzled in to Taylor’s neck, her arm draped protectively against Taylor’s breast, holding her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Because, of course, she was.

“Sweet dreams, _mi corazón_.”

_A hand, resting gentle and loving against her heart… her back shielded with the strong wall of soft chest and firm belly… those sweet lips tickling her neck with tiny kisses…Taylor could feel it, the tender embrace of her love. Her Estela. It made her want to purr with contentment. With all her heart, Taylor wanted to reach up her hand and wrap it around Estela’s, to hold her. The connection with her body was not quite there. Through the night, Taylor allowed herself to revel in that new feeling; the wondrous, heavenly sensation of Estela’s body against hers, suddenly real to her._

* * *

 

 

Estela woke slowly, disturbed by light streaming through the window, but unwilling to accept that further sleep was unlikely.

“Good morning, Taylor,” she whispered, offering a sweet kiss to her wife’s collarbone.

_Her voice was so close, agonisingly close. The kiss made her feel alight with a glow, the touch of Estela’s breath on her neck made her entire spirit sing._

Estela reached out and took Taylor’s hand in her own. Those slender fingers had held her through so much… wiped away so many tears. Too many.

_Taylor concentrated on the soft pressure against her hand, willing herself to return the touch, to make contact. Her eyelids flickered. She was almost there… almost there. A gentle stroke of fingers across her own heightened her senses further. Frustrated, she tried to reach out, to return the loving touch, but she couldn’t quite do it. Taylor slowed her breathing, seeking the calm she needed to finish her journey. She focused on the rhythmic, steady beating of Estela’s heart against her back, letting it guide her home. A warm squeeze around her fingers made her own heart flutter. And Taylor squeezed back._


	6. Awakening

Taylor’s eyes flitted open at the sound of a gasp. Her vision blurry, she could make out a face before her; eyes wide and brimming with tears.  _Estela._

Her heart pounding a mile a minute, Estela put her hands around Taylor’s face, almost unable to believe in the spark she saw burning behind her brilliant blue eyes. From the brink of fading into nothingness, her Taylor was right there… blinking up at her, staring right back. Alive, and awake, and beautiful. “Taylor…,” she breathed. “ _Tay…_ ” She dissolved into sobs, her forehead dropping against that of her love, her soulmate.

Her own eyes becoming misty as she felt Estela crying against her in sheer relief and joy, Taylor tried to speak. “Es… Estel…”

Talking was hard. The movements of her tongue felt heavy and laboured. She stopped trying, instead putting her energy into lifting her arm, clumsily laying her hand to rest against Estela’s hip. To think that she might never again have held this wonderful woman in her arms… it was the sweetest feeling there was; she’d never take it for granted. She laughed weakly as she felt her tears kissed away. More kisses… and more of them… and more again.

“You… scared…” Estela punctuated her words with kisses, “the absolute…  _shit_ … out of me!”

Her eyes swimming, Taylor managed to bring her hand to Estela’s face. She touched it tenderly, losing herself in the adoring gaze. Her fingers trailed down to her wife’s mouth, where they received the softest of kisses. “Estela…I…I…”

“ _Taylor_. Taylor, baby, are you okay? Are you hurt,  _mi amor_? You’re here…  _you’re here._ ” Estela was shaking like a leaf, totally overwhelmed, but her voice was soft and sweet. It felt as though was dreaming, and she was almost afraid to believe it.

Desperate to reassure, Taylor tried again to talk, though she now had to contend with the tears that were cascading down her face. “I’m… here. Ohmygod, Estela…” she slurred, “I love you, I love you, I…”

A blazing kiss cut her off, and then she was lovingly rocked back and forth, pulled up against Estela’s chest, which heaved as she laughed and cried.

“You did it, Taylor. Everyone’s families… the whole damn world- you saved them… it’s over, and you did it. I’ve got you now… I’ve got you…”

Taylor exhaled slowly, and she relaxed into the embrace, relief and sheer bliss warming her from her head to her toes. It was over… it was finally over, and she was back where she belonged. She thought of her friends; all reunited with their loved ones, all free to live the lives they deserved. The familiar tickle of long, dark hair falling against Taylor’s face made her smile. She closed her eyes, and for a long while, just let Estela fill her senses as she was held, safe and secure, and home.

“Just tell me… you’re okay?” Estela asked as she stroked Taylor’s arms with long, gentle caresses. “Back in the cavern… you looked you were in agony… are you hurt…?”

“I’m fine. I promise, I’m fine. I just didn’t know it was possible to be this tired…” she whispered into her wife’s chest, and held onto her tighter as she felt command of her muscles return to her. “If I’m with you, I can live with tired.”

Estela lifted her chin and kissed her again, slow and tender.

Though her eyelids were heavy, Taylor couldn’t bear to look away. “Have I ever said that you are so beautiful? Not just, like, quite pretty. Divine.” she breathed.

“Once or twice. You  _are_ quite the flatterer. But thank you.” Staring hungrily, Estela lovingly stroked Taylor’s cheek. She still couldn’t get over it. Just seeing her look back at her was more wonderful than she could say. “And you are truly beautiful too. The word doesn’t seem big enough for what I’m feeling right now, looking at you. But you are. I love you.”

“I love you.” Taylor’s eyes welled up once more. “We’re gonna have a home together… and a family… and…” She began to cry. It really was  _over._ And that meant it was just the beginning.

Estela kissed Taylor’s forehead. Wherever the path would lead them, they’d be walking it together. She’d found her calm within the storm, and she’d never let it go again.

Though she hated to break them out of their blissful little bubble of solitude, Estela knew she had to give everyone the news they’d been so desperately hoping for. “I should call up Michelle, give her an update,” she said finally, after a long, heavenly stretch of simply gazing into Taylor’s face. “Usually, she’d have checked in by now, but I guess it was a late one last night. She’s been worrying about you non-stop. Well,  _everyone’s_  been worried. We thought… we thought you were gone.”

“Wait, is everyone still here? If it’s all fixed, shouldn’t they be able to go home?”

Estela gave an affectionate laugh. “No one’s going anywhere without you.  _Idiota_. Everyone’s been calling home; for now, it’s been… enough. Sean had his mom flown out, she was here a couple of days. But they’re all alive because of you; none of us could just walk away. Besides, we all felt that your best chance was with all of us close to you. And then Varyyn pretty much confirmed it… you reached him, somehow.”

“I don’t think I could have come through if I was alone. I’d hear voices, and like… memories would come to me, and they’d fill me up, and I’d feel stronger, more complete. To begin with, I was pretty much lost in a haze, but slowly… slowly it came back. I came back. It sounds completely insane, but I feel like you guys… made me.”

“That’s not insane. In a weird way… it kinda makes sense.” With one last kiss, Estela carefully extracted herself from the bed, wincing a little as the sheet brushed over the sutured-up wound from the fight with the oryctoraptor.

“ _Holy mother of crap!”_ Taylor almost fell off the bed when she saw the angry red line down Estela’s calf and ankle. “What happened to your leg?”

“Our friend in the cavern came back for round two.” Estela had to stifle a laugh at the pure horror on Taylor’s face. “I just about got out in one piece.”

“I can’t leave you for five fucking minutes, can I?  _Jesus!”_ Taylor clumsily put her arms around Estela’s waist, slumping against her and sliding downwards until she was almost flat on her belly, her face pressed against her wife’s lower back. “My lover, I am never leaving you again.”

“I wouldn’t complain if you didn’t. That wasn’t five minutes; that was eight days. You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” Estela’s voice trembled as she spoke. She never, ever wanted to revisit those early days, but it seemed inevitable that they’d haunt her for some time to come.

“I was out… eight days?” Taylor became quiet.

Estela nodded, her eyes sad. “It felt like longer. Six times we had to resuscitate you. It was… not the best week of my life. But you’re awake now. You’re back with us, and I really should put everyone else out of their misery.” She stood up gingerly and helped Taylor up into a sitting position before limping over to grab the phone from the table. “ _Hola,_ medic? Come quick!  _Urgente_.”

“Are you  _trying_ to scare her?”

Within a couple of minutes, there was a clattering of doors and an anxious shout from Michelle. “What’s happened? Is she breathing? Get her in the recovery position…”

Pushing open the bedroom door, her eyes grew wide as saucers and her hands leapt to her mouth. “ _Taylor!”_

Propped up against Estela’s chest, Taylor grinned broadly. “It’s good to see you, doc.”

With a strangled squeal, Michelle ran forwards, having to stop herself from flinging her arms around Taylor. Instead, she reached out gently, taking her hand. “How do you feel? Do you mind if I check you over?” She paused midstream and looked at Estela. “ _Come quick!?_ You could have just  _told_ me she was awake, you bitch!” Making her point with a sharp slap that was barely registered, she turned her attention back to her patient. “We were so worried, Taylor. I- I didn’t think there was a thing we could do.”

Taylor pulled Michelle into a hug. “Michelle, you’re amazing. No one I’d rather have in my corner. Thanks for not giving up on me.”

“How could I? How could any of us?” Michelle wiped a tear from her eye. “What you did for us… there’s just… there’s no words…” She pulled herself together. “But it’s your turn to get looked after. After the state you were in, you’re going to have to take it easy. Can you sit up on your own? Don’t push it- just tell me if you can without straining yourself.”

“I don’t think so. I can hold myself up once I’m there, I just need a hand.”

Michelle busily went about checking Taylor’s vital signs and responses to stimuli. “How long have you been awake?”

“I’m not really sure… ‘Stel?”

Estela furrowed her brow. “Maybe half an hour or so.”

“A heads up would have been nice,” said Michelle, a little exasperated. “I’m pretty sure the deal was ‘let me know if there’s any change’. And not a half hour later, in what was clearly a sick joke intended to scare the ever-living hell out of me.” It was clear to her, though, that Taylor was in perfectly safe hands, and had been the whole time.

“Well,” said Taylor, as her friend listened to her lungs, the stethoscope cold on the bare skin of her back. “is everything working okay?”

“You look… good. Better than I would have expected, to be honest. Do you have pain anywhere?”

“Not really. I just feel… heavy. Like really, really lethargic.”

“Well, considering how far gone you were, that’s not a surprise. Just keep me in the loop, okay? If anything changes, I’m here to help.”

Taylor sighed and leaned into Estela. She couldn’t remember ever feeling so fatigued; it was only really the utter joy of being back with the people she loved that powered her on. She needed more.

“Hey, Meech?” she ventured. “I know ‘take it easy’, but can I see everyone? I feel like… I need to.” Her voice cracked, the intensity of her emotion taking her by surprise. “Just… just for a little while.”

“They’re all still at breakfast, right?” Estela asked, her arms tightly around her wife’s fragile form. “I could take that stupid wheelchair.”

Michelle considered for a moment. “It shouldn’t hurt. But not for long. I want you-  _both of you_ \- back in bed within an hour; got it?”

Estela gave her a hard look. “I’m taking care of her. You should trust me.”

“Fine.” Michelle put her hands up. She knew better than to argue with that. “Don’t be afraid to pull a knife on someone if they try and keep her up too long.”

 _You can’t tell her that!_ Taylor mouthed, her eyes wide.

Estela’s gaze lingered on Michelle for a little while longer. She really owed her. Big time. “You’re gonna be a good doctor, Michelle. I know it’s not official yet, but I’m pretty sure you already are. I honestly don’t know what I’d have done without you.”

She reached out, and gently pulled Michelle in, wrapping her up in a long and heartfelt hug.

Once again weepy, Michelle returned the embrace, feeling days of built-up tension release from both their bodies for good. The relief was staggering.

“Thank you, Estela… and you’re welcome. Ugh; I wish you two would stop making me cry- I  _will_  need to fix my face before going back to breakfast.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Freshened up and dressed, Taylor sat in Estela’s lap, their arms in a loving tangle. Estela had been certain she hadn’t needed to be pushed around, but Michelle had insisted, and it was hardly worth arguing when giving in meant being able to hold her wife close. The plank-laden pathways did not make for the most comfortable ride, but in her anticipation, Taylor didn’t even notice. As she laid eyes on her friends, gathered together in the open central hall, talking together, laughing… happy, her heart swelled. She felt Estela give her a little squeeze.

Quinn saw them first. She shrieked and leapt to her feet, causing everyone else to nearly jump out their skin, looking up to see their friend coming back to them. Taylor grinned from ear to ear.

“ _Chyeheheeeeeaaaaaaaah, boi! Taaaaylooor_!” Craig barrelled over from the nearby buffet table, and lifted Taylor into his arms, swinging her around. “Way to not die, bro!-  _Youch!_ ”

Estela rammed the wheelchair into his shin and protectively pulled her wife back into her lap.

“Too much? Sorry…” Craig put an apologetic arm around Estela’s neck and ruffled her hair. “But  _Taylor!_ ”

And then came the wave. Never, Taylor suspected, in the entirety of human history, had a person been the centre of such a frenzy of hugging, of kissing, of slaps on the back, of fist bumps; she was surrounded, and loved on without any holding back.

A nervous Michelle put herself in the middle of the swarm. “All right, break it up! If you people smother her to death after everything I’ve done, I  _swear…”_

“Please tell me I get some kind of best friend priority when it comes to hugging her…” Diego laughed through his tears.

Taylor wrapped her arms around his middle and squeezed tight. “’Course, you moron! You’ve got  _major_ hug privileges racked up.”

Everyone gathered around to finish breakfast, the mood electric. Raj piled high a plate of food for Estela, while offering just a bland portion of rice for Taylor on doctor’s orders. Food, though, was the last thing on Taylor’s mind; all she wanted was to catch up with her friends, to soak up the happiness that she’d finally been able to give back to them. Wedged in between Estela and Diego, she could barely keep her eyes open, but she just couldn’t wipe the enormous grin off her face as they recounted the time she’d missed.

“So, Princess, you didn’t think to put out a warning before pulling a suicide mission, right?”

Taylor shrugged, a little sheepish. “I- uh, I wanted to tell you guys… at least so I could say goodbye properly. I just… I didn’t want to risk being talked out of it, or for anyone to try and stop me. To be honest… I needed to feel like I was in control. Or at least as in control as you  _can_ be gambling your own life like that.”

Quinn reached across the table to hold her hand. “I wish I’d told you how much you mean to me. If I’d known…” She shook her head. “I’m just so relieved we have that chance now. And that we have the chance to thank you.”

Biting her lip, Taylor still couldn’t shake the feeling that her cowardice had caused a great deal of pain. She’d fixed the problem, but she couldn’t undo the months of grief she’d allowed. A warm pressure of fingers squeezing hers seemed to respond to her unsaid turmoil.

Grace nodded. “You were so brave. To walk towards your death knowingly… for us. I… don’t think I could ever have that kind of courage.”

“Fucking badass,” Zahra agreed. “I would have been self-preservation all the way. But you pulled it off. Got to be running low on miracles by now, Tayls?”

“ _Shit,_ yes…” Taylor laughed, the tension disappearing from her body as quickly as it had come. There was no resentment, and she loved her friends all the more. “I’m not pushing my luck any more. Quiet life for me. Huh. I don’t even know what that would look like.”

Diego piped up. “Binge watching bootleg Broadway shows while consuming a freezer’s worth of ice cream?”

She snorted and gave him an enthusiastic if pathetically feeble high five. “Diego, baby, you are  _on_!”

“Seriously, though,” said Michelle, “you’re gonna need to take it easy for a little while. What you went through was… unusual, to put it mildly. We don’t really know how long it’ll take for you to recover.”

Taylor knew she was right. “So, what do we do now? You guys have all gotta go home… I don’t want to hold you back anymore. Like you said, we don’t know how long it’ll be before I’m okay.”

“How about we pencil in a date?” Sean suggested. “Just a guess for when you’ll be strong enough to travel. That way we have a plan, and we’re not keeping everyone back home hanging.”

“You don’t have to wait for me…”

Zahra threw her head back in frustration. “Estela, will you please smack her for me! The selfless hero routine just crossed a line. Look, Taylor, we all started this together, and we’ll finish this together. Even though I sort of hate you right now for pushing me to the point where I’d actually give a freaking pep talk.”

“Oh. Well, that’s me told.” Taylor smirked. That was about as close as Zahra came to outright affection, and she’d happily take it. “In that case, I guess Sean’s idea works.”

Almost sending Grace’s glass of juice flying, Craig thrust his hand into the air.

“This isn’t elementary school, asshat! You can just talk… you know, without the violent flailing.”

“Then why the hell did they spend all those years teaching us that in the first place?”

To that, Zahra could only shrug. “Eh. Shows how effective the education system is. I guess we should be grateful that you retained something from second grade.”

“What were you gonna say, Craig?” Taylor asked, with a loud yawn. Wonderful as this was, she wasn’t sure how long she could keep her eyes open.

“We never had that week vacation we won!” he proclaimed passionately.

“Whaddya call this last year and a half, Drax? Tropical island- check. Fancy booze- check. Swanky resort- check…”

“We spent the whole time trying to  _escape_ the vacation, or death, or freakishly toned middle-aged men, or death! I just wanted to have the good time I’d earned…”

“Earned?” Aleister queried. “You entered your name into a draw, it was  _hardly_ a merit-based contest.”

“No, actually, I think he’s got a point,” said Taylor, who was now slumped against Estela’s shoulder. “When did we  _actually_ do the vacation bit?”

Diego nodded enthusiastically. With little to go home to before the start of senior year in September, he’d take what time with his friends he could get. “The literal end of the world is just not vacation material. Craig’s right- we should actually do it!”

Grace’s eyes lit up and she clapped her hands together. “One last perfect week in paradise- with all of us together!”

“I might be reading between the lines here,” Raj said, “but is ‘vacation‘ code for ‘week-long rager’?”

“Seriously, Raj?” Michelle shook her head. “Taylor needs an  _actual_ break.”

“Well, I guess that could be fun too…” Raj was disappointed, but he was flexible. He’d thrown enough parties for his elderly grandmother to know how to do ‘toned-down’ when it was absolutely necessary.

“But movie marathons every night should be fine?” Diego piped up. “Now that Rourke’s DVD collection is not the sole remains of the planet’s history of filmmaking, Taylor and I have some  _serious_ catching up to do.”

Barely able to keep her eyes open, Taylor grinned. “You’re gonna give commentary through everything we watch, aren’t you?”

Diego hugged her. “But that’s what you love the most!”

Estela rolled her eyes. It seemed pretty clear that Diego was going to be a fairly consistent fixture in the next stage of Taylor’s recovery too. She’d expected nothing less, and braced herself a whole lot of Netflix. After the week she’d had, though, the thought of snuggling up with Taylor for movie-after-movie, really wasn’t so bad at all.

As her friends excitedly discussed their big La Huerta send-off, Taylor struggled to focus on the conversation. She was so sleepy… so, so sleepy. Unable to follow the back-and-forth across the table, she slumped against Estela’s chest and began to doze.

Michelle stood up. “I think we’d better help Taylor back to bed…”

“What, already?” Craig complained.

Estela gave him a look of complete exasperation and pointed at the slumbering woman on her chest.

“Yeah, so?” he shrugged. “She likes boobs. What’s new?”

Zahra’s juice shot out her nose as she gagged, while Estela could only glare daggers.

“Craig,” said Michelle, putting a hand to her forehead. “You’re making my brain cells hurt. She’s  _asleep._ ”

“She was asleep for a week and she’s  _still_ tired?”

Estela gave Taylor’s shoulder a little shake. Sleeping, she looked unnervingly similar to the unconscious figure she’d sat with day-in-day-out. “Sorry…” she said, as Taylor stirred. She wasn’t sorry at all; it was a damn relief to know that she  _could_ wake up. “I think you’re ready to go back to bed.”

“Hmmm?” Taylor looked up slightly. “Yeah, I’m a little tired. I’ll see you guys later, yeah?”

As Estela settled her back in the wheelchair, Taylor was the centre of a second round of what she would later refer to as ‘hugmaggeddon’. Even despite the rough ride of the chair over the uneven ground, Taylor found it hard to stay awake. Relaxed and utterly content, she snuggled in, letting Estela hold her tight. Just as she closed her eyes, she thought she saw Quinn give Michelle a quick kiss as she held the door open for them. With a knowing smile on her face, and surrounded by a most loving embrace, she let sleep take her. She was home, and all would be well.

 

 

* * *

 

 

From the minute she sank down into Taylor and Estela’s couch, Michelle had her head buried her study books, her brow furrowed in concentration.

Quinn watched with concern mounting in her blue eyes. Michelle had become obsessive, totally fired up with the need to reach her goal. Pulling Taylor back from the brink had added fuel to the flame, even through the sleepless nights and seemingly endless worry. Her dedication was admirable, and that burning desire to help and heal was one of the reasons Quinn loved her so much, but at this rate, she’d simply burn herself out.

“Michelle… don’t you think you’ve earned a break?”

“By the time I get back to Hartfield, I’ll be two years behind, Quinn,” the frustration was clear in Michelle’s voice. “If there’s a chance I can make up some ground…”

Quinn edged closer, and took her friend’s hand. “Just… half an hour. For me. There are two people upstairs who I love very much, and they’re alive and well because of you. I just need to know you’re taking care of yourself too.”

Michelle’s eyes flickered up from her book, and the worry in Quinn’s eyes halted her. “For you.”

Quinn placed the books neatly on the floor and gave Michelle a warm smile. “Thank you.” She ran her thumb lovingly across Michelle’s soft hands. Her skin was always so perfectly smooth and wonderful to touch. “You’ve always known where you’re going, who you’re gonna be; it’s honestly inspiring.”

“I can already hear the ‘but’.”

“But… sometimes, you push yourself too hard.”

“You don’t understand. Becoming a doctor  _is_ hard. You push, and you push, or you’ll never get there at all.”

“’Chelle, that’s my point. This isn’t an easy road you’ve chosen, but you’re putting expectations, deadlines on yourself that you don’t need to have. The journey’s challenging enough without adding to it.”

Michelle looked away.

Quinn reached out and cupped her cheek. “I’ve never had a life mapped out, planned to the year. You’re right, I can’t understand that. But I do know that life can lead you down unexpected paths, and it works out for the better. You can have goals, have your plan, but you need to have faith in yourself as well. I have faith in you, Michelle.”

A tear rose on Michelle’s cheek. “I’ve been selfish.”

“Michelle-“

“No, really. I’ve hardly spared a thought for helping you find  _your_ path. You’ve got so much to give, Quinn. You must think I don’t care…”

“Stop right there. You’ve spent the last week-  _longer_ \- pulling a friend back from the brink of death. On alert, all day and all night. And every spare hour you’ve had, you’ve been seeking to know more, so you can help more people. You’re not  _remotely_ selfish.”

Michelle shook her head. “I wasn’t there for you when you called your mom and dad. They thought you were dead. You shouldn’t have had to make those calls alone. I’m so, so sorry.”

“It’s okay…” Quinn said gently. “It was emotional, but I’m much stronger than I once thought I was. I knew you cared. To be honest, you gave me courage. Seeing you fight so hard for Estela and Taylor, how brave you had to be that night, it made me realise that in the scheme of things, I had nothing to fear. It hurt to face up to what heartache my parents had been through, but now they can begin to heal. Maybe we can even heal as a family.”

“You are an extraordinary person, Quinn. I’ve never known anyone with such a big heart.”

“It takes one to know one!” Quinn smiled her beautiful, sunny smile. “But I think you need to stop seeing this as two years lost. You’ve grown in so many ways… I almost wouldn’t recognise you as the girl who stepped off that plane.”

Michelle gave a dry laugh. “I know what it means to have friends now, to  _really_ see people. I mean, look at Estela- back at Hartfield, I’d see her and she’d just be some creepy weirdo to be avoided at all costs. I don’t even want to know how many times she saved my life out here. And now I’d do anything for her. The world is going to seem so different now.”

“And that will make you an amazing doctor. Everything you’ve done… honey, this time you’ve ‘lost’ has been the making of you. You’re so much  _happier_. Life isn’t a race, Michelle.”

As Michelle looked into Quinn’s face, she knew that every word was true. “How did you get so wise  _and_ beautiful?” She giggled as Quinn blushed, and scooted closer, so that she could see every freckle. “You’re my inspiration, Quinn. You have been for a long time now.” She sighed. “And I think I need you sometimes… to remind me of what matters, to remind me to have faith in myself.” Delicate fingers stroked through her dirty blonde hair, making her breath catch in her throat. “I want to be there as you discover what the world has to offer. I want to fight in your corner as you take the first steps towards the long, happy life you deserve.” She took Quinn’s face in her hands, and saw her eyes flood with emotion. This was what she wanted. “I wondered if we might… make it official? Would you be my girlfriend?”

Quinn caught Michelle’s lips in her own, kissing, caressing. She gave a soft moan as Michelle responded with fervour, her tongue slipping past Quinn’s parted lips, each motion slow, deliberate, and overflowing with passion.

Michelle came away with red cheeks that had nothing to do with her fondness for blusher. “Was that a yes?”

“ _Please!”_ Quinn laughed, and pulled her lover into another embrace, before realising where they were. Being on active ‘Taylor duty’ had its drawbacks.

A naughty grin came to Michelle’s face. “You know… I don’t think they’ll miss me if I slip away for an hour or two. After all, if my…  _needs_ aren’t met, how can I be at my best for the people who rely on me?”

“ _Doctor Nguyen!_ What are you suggesting?” Quinn stroked slowly underneath Michelle’s chin, drawing her back in. She winked cheekily.

Michelle felt herself shiver. “I know you’re teasing, but you can  _definitely_ keep calling me that.” She lowered her voice to the softest whisper. “My place this time?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Grunting softly as she woke, Taylor found herself back in their room, snuggled up against a dozing Estela and using her chest as a pillow. Tentatively, she stretched out her tired muscles, which still felt heavy. She pushed herself up and pressed a warm kiss against Estela’s full lips. Even before Estela opened her eyes, she could feel the sweet smile against her mouth.

“Hey…”

“Hey…” Estela squeezed Taylor’s frail form tight against her. “I hope you had a nice sleep.”

“Mmmmm… I definitely needed that. Looks like you did too.”

Estela yawned widely. “I haven’t been sleeping well. It was almost impossible to relax for the first few days you were out.”

“Well, you’ll have your little spoon back tonight. And you can wake me up any time you want, just to check I’m still with you.”

The thought of spending the night together was like a warm and comforting dream. Lost in nothingness, Taylor had yearned to reach out and be with her wife. To touch her now was heaven.

“Taylor?”

“Mmhmm?”

Her eyes soft with concern, Estela gently cupped Taylor’s face and slowly stroked her cheek. “ _Are_ you okay? Honestly. I mean… do you even remember what happened?”

Taylor reached a hand up to meet Estela’s. “I swear,” she said, her voice hushed and sincere. “I swear I’m okay.” She furrowed her brow. “That last night almost feels like a dream, but I remember it. We made love in a forest clearing… that part is  _very_ vivid.”

“Nice to know I made an impression.” Estela’s cheeks had gone a little red. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget any of it. I don’t want to. The things I felt… it’s hard to put into words. It was just so intense… knowing it was all the time we had. It felt like goodbye. Once we were in the chasm, it was already over.”

“That part’s more of a blur. I remember being absolutely terrified, but still so sure of what I was doing. That probably doesn’t even make sense…”

“I understand.”

“And I remember touching the pillar. You were kissing me, and I tried to focus on that… forget about anything else. But it wasn’t just the light this time; I could feel something being torn away” Taylor felt her bottom lip tremble. That pain… that unbearable pain; she’d didn’t  _want_ to remember it. “And then I felt myself slipping away. Dying.”

“You stopped breathing. I managed to keep you alive; I got you part of the way home before the oryctoraptor found us. I guess I must have passed out, ‘cause I woke up in bed. Varyyn saved us. That was you… wasn’t it?”

Taylor gave her a little kiss. “I needed to know you wouldn’t be left alone down there.” She leaned close so their faces were but an inch apart. “I needed you to be all right. It was weird, you know… everyone acting like I’m some great hero. Maybe in a way I am; but I never had to be half as brave as you did.” As she met Estela’s eyes, the shadows of heartbreak were palpable. “’Stel… I love you. Are  _you_ okay?”

For a split second, Estela froze, but then she nodded, even as the tears came. She held Taylor, feeling her embrace -weak, but brimming with all the love she’d ever need. “I wasn’t. I honestly thought you were going to die, and I was totally helpless. It was everything I’d been dreading for so long, and I couldn’t take it anymore.” She peppered her love’s face with kisses, her heart swelling as Taylor responded with an affectionate smile that made her nose crinkle. “But… now I’ve got everything I need. We’ll be okay.”

It occurred to Taylor that in all the talk over breakfast of going home, her wife had been quiet on the subject. “You’ve spoken to your  _tio_ , right? He knows you’re safe?”

“I…no, I haven’t.”

Lines of worry returned to Taylor’s face. “Estela…”

“I couldn’t face it.  We almost lost you six times. I almost lost you, Taylor. Even when you improved, I wanted to wait. It’s stupid, I know, but I was scared that if I talked to him, I’d… I’d break down.”

Taylor reached for Estela’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You’ve got me now. Right here, and never,  _ever_  gonna leave you.” She leaned in once more, and their foreheads touched, a wonderful feeling. “Maybe you should do this… you know I’ll be right here, holding your hand. I just think he must be wondering… after all this time…”

Estela’s mouth was dry. Her stomach seemed to do a flip. The last her  _tio_ had heard from her was that message that he’d have received the day she flew out to La Huerta… for him, that had been over a year and a half ago. Since then, silence. “I… don’t know what to say. He probably thinks I’m dead! I can’t explain any of this… I was… I was a different person back then.”

“Baby, you’ve grown, but you’ve always been you. I know how close you two are- he’s just gonna want to know you’re okay.” Almost falling on her face, Taylor clambered over to the bedside table and picked up the phone. She placed it in Estela’s hand. “Look, I’m not gonna push you. But I think you need to do this. Whether it’s now, or in a few days, or whatever; this is your time to take back the future you were always meant to have.”

Taylor’s eyes held such sincerity, offering love and support without question. And she was right. Of course, she was right; Estela still couldn’t quite let herself believe that a future with the people she loved -happy, at peace- was real before her. She shook her head, cursing herself for freezing up when everything she wanted was right there for her to take.

“This is stupid. It shouldn’t be this hard…”

“It’s been a long time. San Trobida must feel like a whole different life.”

Estela bit her lip. She took Taylor’s fingers back into her own and held tight. To be so nervous felt ridiculous, but still she couldn’t shake it. So much had changed… and yet through it all she had missed her  _tio_ desperately. She had always been so sure of herself, stubbornly pushing forward in her own path, but now, inexplicably, she yearned for his approval. With a long, grateful exchanged gaze with Taylor, she shakily started dialling in the number.

The phone rang for several torturous seconds. Just long enough for Estela’s mind to imagine nightmare scenarios- San Trobida was still a dangerous place, it was by no means certain that Nicolas  _was_ safe and well. And then the phone picked up.

“Tio Nicolas? It- it’s me, Tio…” Estela’s voice shook. After all this time… it was as though she was reaching out to a ghost of her past.  _Please say something._

There was silence for several long moments, then the voice that answered was thick with emotion. “Estelita… I had wondered…”

Her breath caught in her throat as that voice, that wonderful voice reached her ears.  _He’s okay… he’s okay…_ “I’m sorry, I couldn’t get to you before now. You got my message?”

Nicolas chuckled. “You said I was right. I will be keeping that message in case you never say those words again.”

“I couldn’t do it. I’ve changed since I’ve been here… so much. Mom would never have wanted…” The words couldn’t come, and Estela didn’t force it.

“You’re safe. That’s all that matters. You had to find your own way. But all this time,  _mija_ … it was like the earth had swallowed you up.”

Estela gave a dry laugh. “You wouldn’t believe the half of the shit that’s gone down here. But we made it.” She took a deep breath. “Everything’s different now.  _I’m_ different. I …um… I met someone…”

“ _You?_ Now that is something I cannot believe! I always said you should not be guarded like me, but I never thought you’d listen! Does this mean your cloth ears work now? Is this  _twice_ I can say I was right?”

Estela giggled; she’d so missed the way he’d take the piss out of her. “ _Tio!_ You were too quick to write me off as a lost cause.  _I_ was, too. My Taylor… she is… everything good in this world.” As she spoke, she lovingly fondled with Taylor’s fingers. “I didn’t believe I could love or be loved in the way that…” She shook her head. “She is my heart. I don’t know what I’d be without her.”

“Ah, a woman. You always did things your own way- maybe I should not be surprised.”

A blush crept to Estela’s cheeks. “It’s not… weird to you?”

“You’re young, you’re in love! That’s what I’ve been fighting for so long for… for you to be free to be happy. I just hope your Taylor knows how lucky she is.”

Listening in, Taylor smiled. “I  _definitely_ do.”

“She loves me. All of me. And I love her… more than I can put in words. We’re gonna have a life, a future… a family.”

“I wish your mom could hear you talk like this; she would be so proud of you.”

 _Dammit,_ thought Estela, realising that crying was now inevitable. “I…” Unable to get out another word, on came the waterworks. Immediately, she felt Taylor’s arms around her.

“I’m sorry,  _mija_ … it’s just so wonderful to hear you like this. You sound different. I don’t even recall the last time I heard real happiness in your voice.”

Estela sniffed, one arm around Taylor’s middle. “I  _feel_ different. I didn’t think it was possible… being happy, not for me. We’re gonna be all right, Tio… I’m gonna come home soon. I can’t right away… I got hurt and need to rest a little while longer. But I’ll be home soon, I promise, and I will phone you every day. You’re gonna be sick of the sound of my voice.”

“I love you, Estelita…  I’ll sleep easier knowing you are at peace. It’s changed here; we’re beginning to rebuild- sometimes you even see children playing in the streets again. But I have missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. So much. Everything that’s happened… you honestly wouldn’t believe it. I thought I was ready for anything- but I didn’t expect anything like this. For so long I thought I would never see you again. I’m sorry for making you worry…  _so_  many times. I love you, Tio.”

“You are worth the grey hairs; don’t you mind about that. You should know how much I admire you. You have the courage of a lioness and your mother’s kind soul. I am so proud.”

Estela had to wipe away her tears. “Oh, Tio… I better go before I start crying again. I’ll call again tomorrow, okay?”

“Take care… tell your girlfriend I’m looking forward to meeting her- I have to see if she is all you deserve.” He chuckled. “Love you,  _mija_.”

“Love you too. And you are referring to my  _wife_ …”

“ _Joder!_ I think I need to lie down. Too late for interrogation then?” Nicolas gave a bark of a laugh. “We’ll speak soon, my star.”

“Very soon, I swear. Bye… bye…” Estela was shaking as she hung up the phone, staring forward as if in a daze. Then she threw her hands to her face and squealed. That was…  _real._ She flung herself at Taylor and hugged her tight, swinging her from side to side. “Ohmygod, Taylor! He’s okay… he’s really…” More damn tears. Happy tears for a change? Maybe she could live with that. “I’m just… I’m so,  _so_ happy…”

Taylor laughed until her sides hurt, infected by the euphoria that radiated off Estela like sunlight. All the pain they’d been faced with, the uncertainty of whether they’d even have a future together… it paled to nothing next to the sheer elation at it all being over, of the promise of love and family. She squeezed Estela tightly, falling against her as she collapsed into the bed.

She exhaled contentedly. “I am too. And I couldn’t love you more.” A mischievous grin crossed her face, and she darted her hand in to tickle Estela’s side, making her squeal again.

“Hey! Cut it out!” Estela darted sideways, with impressive agility for one sporting such a substantial wound.

“But it’s so cute when you go all squeaky…”

Taylor lunged to make another assault, but Estela was too quick, wrestling her arm away and retaliating by tickling her neck. Taylor yelped and squirmed, fighting back for just a few seconds before she was gasping for breath.

“Easy…” Estela pulled her into her lap, cradling her. “You’ve been close to dead for a week; don’t hurt yourself.”

Panting, Taylor was unnerved by how weak her body was. She leant against Estela as she got her breath back. Slowly, she was guided down onto the bed, until her head rested upon a pillow. “I’m… I’m fine.”

Estela gave the tip of her nose a little kiss. After the torture of the past week, she was protective. It was clear from looking at her that Taylor was not quite right. Recovery would need to be slow. She put her arm around her, stroking her back until she felt her muscles relax. “That’s better.”

Taylor edged closer, until she was pressed against Estela, her face just a hair’s breadth away. Caught up in her soulful stare, it was impossible not to feel at ease. Those dark eyes had a way of holding her captive. Taylor ran her hand up Estela’s thigh, over her bottom, feeling her way up her back, taking her time before finally settling at the back of her head, where she exerted a gentle pressure, pulling her into a kiss, deep and lingering. As she came away, she found herself exhausted once more.

“We’re gonna have to work up your stamina…” Estela said with a loving smirk. She cupped Taylor’s face, soaking in the adoration that she returned in spades. “Just… hold me. Please. All I’ve wanted… all I’ve wanted is to feel your arms around me.”

From somewhere deep within, through a fog of faded memory, a voice echoed in Taylor’s mind. “ _I need you to hold her for me.”_ She tilted in so that their foreheads touched, and she closed her eyes. After being lost in the dark for so long, to feel Estela, to smell her, to hear her steadily breathing beside her… it was like waking to the most beautiful dream she could imagine. Taylor’s body was weak, but as her soulmate’s heart thundered alongside hers, she felt invincible.

“Estela…” she breathed, snaking her other arm around her middle, slipping her hand beneath the loose shirt and slowly, tenderly caressing her toned stomach. Beneath her fingers, she felt a quiver of pleasure. The yearning in Estela’s eyes was profound, born, Taylor knew, of pain that she’d inflicted. Never again. “If I could take away everything you endured for me…”

A finger to her lips silenced her, and she understood. No more guilt.

“Taylor…”

“ _My love_ … I could hold you for ever.”


	7. Unbound

The horizon was painted with the colours of sunset, so much softer and more beautiful than the harsh glow that Taylor had become so used to. A cool breeze came in off the sea, tugging at her loose blonde hair and making the grass on the hilltop gently rustle. This would be it; the last night with her friends, together on La Huerta. It was the farewell she never thought would come… but they’d made it. A whole world awaited them.

 Moving silently through the stillness of the evening, Estela followed Taylor up to the top of the hill. “I thought I’d find you here.”

A smile tugged at Taylor’s lips. If Michelle caught Estela trudging up steep hills, she’d throw a fit. She, however, would not give the secret up. “One last time? I couldn’t help myself.”

She shuffled to her left, giving Estela room to sit beside her. Soon, they were huddled under a blanket together, looking at the stars… different ones to those they’d become accustomed to. 

Taylor pointed at a cluster of stars. “Look! That one kind of looks like it’s in the shape of Furball!”

“How?” Estela put her head sideways, trying different angles.

“Come on- there’s his tail!”

“Oh, that. It looks more like a turtle. See… those are its flippers.”

“ _Excuse me_ , those are Furball’s ears.”

Estela giggled and kissed Taylor’s cheek. “Fine, but when we get home, I’m taking you to get your eyes tested.”

Playfully indignant, Taylor jabbed Estela in the ribs, making her laugh more.

“That tickles…”

“Is this better?” Taylor leaned in close, kissing a path from Estela’s jaw to her chest. “Or is my warrior queen just too ticklish?”

 Estela sharply sucked in a breath at the feel of Taylor’s lips. A week on, and every touch, every glance shared with her still felt like a miracle. It was hard to believe they would soon be going home… together. “That’s…” she trailed off, caught up in the feeling, and wishing her shirt wasn’t getting in the way.

Taylor looked back up and met her eyes. “How are you feeling?”

“About going home?”

“Mmmhmm”

 “I don’t think it will sink in until we step off the plane. It doesn’t feel real. But I want to give Tio Nicolas the biggest hug.”

Taylor smiled. “I can’t believe it either. It’s hard to imagine there being anything beyond this after so long. I’m _starting_ to get a little nervous about meeting your _tio_. If he’s anything like you, and that’s definitely the impression I’m getting, I think I’ll have my work cut out for me.”

“Hey- I wasn’t _that_ bad. I liked you very quickly. _Alarmingly_ quickly. Tio is a good judge of character; he’ll give you a hard time to start with, but it won’t take him long to see who you are. You’ll feel at home; I’ll make sure of it.”

Though her words were reassuring, there was something like sadness playing behind Estela’s eyes, and Taylor noticed.

“Is Jake still digging his heels in?” she asked, stroking her cheek.

Estela hmphed. Of course, Taylor could sense her worry, her frustration. “I _know_ he doesn’t really want to go back to being alone. I think he just doesn’t want to be seen to get his hopes up. I get it… there’s only so long you can believe things might get better.”

Taylor looked down, sad. Everyone else could go home, but for Jake, it was still a distant dream. She felt for him, deeply, and couldn’t stand the injustice of it all. “We’ll fix this. Rourke was a lot of things, but he wasn’t stupid; the amount of dirt on Lundgren that he had hold of should make this a piece of cake. And it’s not as if Aleister’s short on money to throw at defending Jake and Mike. It’s just… time.”

“Time he should be with people who care about him,” said Estela. “We take the piss out of each other, but when it mattered, he’s always been there, and always been real with me. I don’t think I can just walk away.” She rested her head on Taylor’s shoulder.

“He’ll come around. He’s annoyingly pig-headed, but so are you- you’ll wear him down with love. He’ll come with us; I’m sure of it.”

 Estela looked out to the sea… towards home. If she was going to convince Jake to join them in San Trobida while he waited for his name to be cleared, there was not much time. Come morning, the boat would arrive to ferry most of the group back to Costa Rica, while a small plane would take Taylor and Estela directly to San Trobida. Everyone would go their separate ways. If she truly thought Jake would be happy returning to the way things were, she’d drop it, but by now she knew him too well.

A few spots of rain caused Taylor to huddle closer. She put an arm around Estela and kissed her forehead.

“That’s nice,” Estela purred, and she nuzzled in to trail kisses down to the tip of Taylor’s nose. “But we should head back down; I can’t keep you to myself quite yet.” She stood up, swaying a little as she tried to get comfortable on her bad leg.

“Wait-“

Estela turned.

“Have you talked to Aleister yet?”

The question was met with a frown. That morning, it had come out that Aleister had orchestrated the removal of every piece of evidence of Olivia Montoya’s existence from Rourke International’s records. Estela had hit the roof. Though she’d since calmed down and looked at the situation from a logical standpoint, she was quite happy to leave Aleister cowering away from her. Good intentions or not, he was not presently one of her favourite people.

“No,” she replied shortly. “I know he meant well, but I should have had a say. He had no fucking right…”

“Stel…” Taylor reached out and took hold of Estela’s arm, pulling her down into her lap. There was little resistance. “Look, I know you don’t want to hear this, but… Aleister did exactly the same thing I would have done. And I’d bet everything I own that your mom would have done the same too. I am honestly _so_ grateful that he did what he could to keep you safe. If I’d lost you…”

Those words hit something in Estela, taking her back to those torturous nights when she felt as though she was about to lose the person she loved most of all. She never wanted Taylor to feel that. Estela wrapped her up in her arms and swept her into a slow and tender kiss. She sighed when she came away, looking into those glittering eyes. “I hate that you’re right. I’m just…” She made a sound that came out something like the squall of an angry cat. “There’s almost nothing left of her! She died trying to stop something terrible from happening- she was trying to save lives. How does _that_ get blasted from history, while the bastard who killed her is _still_ celebrated as a genius. I stopped expecting the world to be fair a long time ago… but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.” She let her breathing calm, then lovingly ran her fingers through Taylor’s hair. “You’re not gonna lose me, okay? I hate it. I can’t _stand it_ , but I’d have made the same choice… eventually. You’ve always been right… she wanted me to live, to be free, to love.”

Taylor brought her lips softly against Estela’s, her face wet from the rain. “This is your mom’s legacy. Not words or records, or anything that can be erased. You. Wonderful, selfless, _incredible_ you.”

Estela’s eyes shone with emotion, and she gave a little half-laugh half-sob. “It’s _us._ You’re part of our family now, and don’t you forget it.” She took Taylor’s face in her hands and drank in the sight of that beautiful smile. “You’re everything she ever wished for me. And you’re my heart. I wish it was enough to make it not hurt anymore, but…”

“Hey… you’re allowed to hurt. And you can always, _always_ offload some of it on me. I just don’t want to see you pushing away the people who care about you.”

 _Like Aleister._ Estela looked away, but nodded. “I’ll talk to him.”

The rain was now heavy, and both women were soaked.

Estela wiped water from her brow and smiled at Taylor, who looked a gorgeous sodden mess. “If you’re satisfied now, do you want to go back in?”

“Uh, hang on-“ Taylor tugged Estela into her by her shirt and kissed her passionately. A little smile played on her mouth as she felt a soft moan against her lips. The rain drowned out the rest of the world, and it was just them. When she finally came up for breath, she giggled at the pure exhilaration written all over Estela’s face. “All right… _now_ I’m ready.”

 

* * *

 

 

With everyone having rushed in from the poolside to escape the downpour, the dining area had become the centre of activity. Already, the reality of leaving, of parting with friends who had become family, was making an impact. Exchanges of hugs were in full flow, as were, in some cases, the tears. It was the end of a week-long celebration- the promised vacation that had never been, but far more than that, it was the end of an era. The whole week had carried a sense of heading towards the end, with scenes of important memories revisited and tributes to one another and the adventures they’d shared coming thick and fast. Most notably, each of the Catalysts had been marked with a small tattoo of their Hadean zodiac sign on the wrist, a permanent expression of solidarity, of family. That the likes of Aleister had been willing -almost enthusiastic- to make such a gesture spoke of the depth of feeling that presently ran through the group. They’d faced the end of the world and come through. Together.

While most of his friends talked and laughed around him, Diego sat himself on the periphery, feeling the loss before it had truly begun. Finding his place in this new world was daunting; that he’d be split two ways was inevitable, and it seemed as though whatever he did, he’d lose. He belonged with Varyyn- his other half, the love of his life. But he had his dreams to pursue, and the circle of friends he’d always craved. It would be a balancing act, a delicate dance of trial and error. Diego would go home with his friends, just for a little while, and then return to Varyyn until September came and senior year began. The thought of being parted from him for so long was near unbearable, but he was determined that _somehow_ it would work. If Varyyn were not the elyyshar, not bound by the most sacred of duties, there might have been an easier way. Diego was pulled from his introspection at the sound of a frustrated cry.

 “I thought I told you not to get your fucking leg wet!”

Jake sniggered from the bar. “Uh, Maybelline… you might want to work on your bedside manner. Just a hint.”

“And you can shut it,” Michelle snapped.

Estela rolled her eyes, but walked over to offer her leg for inspection. “It’s fine- look.” Her calf had indeed healed remarkably, thanks to regular treatment with Ravyya’s herb laden ointments. It was sore, enough to produce a slight limp, but she didn’t consider it a great concern. “It doesn’t need a dressing anymore. It’s not going to open back up.”

Michelle looked the healing wound over. The accelerated recovery time was unnatural to her eye, and though she was grateful for the leaves’ magic, she wasn’t yet ready to put her complete trust in it. Estela’s calf had been all but torn off, and the potential for infection to set in was exacerbated by the intense humidity. Michelle would breathe a sigh of relief when it really was just another scar. Until then, it was her responsibility to encourage caution.

“Just be careful, all right?” she eventually conceded. “ _Both_ of you.”

“Oh, Meech,” Taylor pulled her into a hug. “I’m always careful!”

Taylor had recovered well from her ordeal, back on her feet after just a few days. Once awake and surrounded by friends, she’d gone from strength to strength. She tired easily, and could no longer handle her alcohol _at all_ , but otherwise she was her old self again- much to everyone’s relief.

Michelle squeezed her. “I swear I’ve lost years off my life worrying about you two these past couple of weeks.”

“But you did it. Your work here is done.”

Diego wandered over and joined in the hug. “Are we doing a group hug now? This feels like a group hug moment.”

“ _GROUP HUG MOMENT, PEOPLE!”_ Raj hollered, and he ran to pile in. “ _We’ve got a group hug moment_!”

Like a vacuum, the huddle pulled in people from all directions, and even the reluctant huggers in the group got dragged into the tangle. At the centre, Diego quickly regretted starting a mass love-in, as he was squashed from all sides. He ducked down to make an escape, pulling Taylor out with him.

 She was laughing and panting as she crawled after him. “Agh, it’s Hugmaggeddon Part Two! Save yourself, my friend- leave me!”

“No, Taylor! _You can make it!”_

The pair of them were breathless with laughter when they reached the cavernous atrium, having gotten away from Craig, who’d tried to pull back an escaping Taylor by her ankle. They slumped against one another, chests heaving.

“Well, the night is young and everyone’s already pretty buzzed…” Diego managed to get out between pants.

Taylor’s laughter gradually slowed. “I’m gonna miss this. You know, everyone getting off their faces and just… being together. Not a care in the world.” The reality crept up on her, taking her by surprise. “I guess I’ve never known any different; it’s always been the twelve of us, somehow making even the worst things in life bearable. I mean, we survived the end of the world! Are we… are we gonna lose this, Diego?”

It was as if she’d read his mind, sensed his own fears. He looked down, giddiness falling away, leaving him feeling something like emotional whiplash. “I… I dunno.” He shrugged. “It’s never gonna be the same; it can’t be. But I don’t think you can go through something like this and not stay connected forever… somehow.”

Suddenly teary, Taylor snuggled up, her head against his chest. “Am I so stupid that I never even thought to be afraid of what would come next?”

“I think you had more pressing things on your mind, to be honest.” Diego couldn’t help but smile. “I’m uh, a little scared too.”

 She took his hand. “You’re gonna go so far, be everything you dreamed of. And I will always love you for the person you are.”

“Uh oh, we’re getting full-on here… are you planning another crazy self-sacrifice?”

“ _No!_ Goober. Though, to be fair, that’s what I told you last time.” She laughed. “God, our lives are a trip. You’ll have to help me adjust to normal. We can be study buddies! Until you’re all graduated anyhow.”

Diego’s smile faltered. He was, and would always be, split two ways. “Taylor… you’ll come back? Here, to La Huerta.”

 The earnest fear in his eyes was hard for Taylor to see. “Hey, you’re not gonna get rid of me,” she said gently. “I don’t… I don’t _know_ where I’m headed, but I know the people who I want to walk my path with. And you and Varyyn… you’re _family_. I don’t have roots, a mother, a father- I have _you._ To me, La Huerta feels like home. Estela feels the same; this is where she found her happiness. We built a house here, planning for a future. I think this place is far too deep in us now; we’ll always come back. Besides, Aleister and Grace won’t be away for long. We’re probably gonna end up with half the gang living here at some point.”

 He held her close and let his tears fall. “Phew! I mean, I love living with Varyyn and his people, but-“

“Diego, we’re forever. Which is a damn good thing, because I’m pretty sure I’ll need plenty of your famous movies-and-ice-cream sessions to get me through life.” Taylor kissed his cheek. “Now, _you_ should be spending your last night here with that strapping husband of yours. Bring that Aladdin-Genie smut to life, boy!”

Diego lurched forward, laughing so hard he choked. “ _Hoooomygod, Taylor_! You did _not_ just say that!”

“I told you you’re a bad influence! Now go on- go get some. Shoo!”

As she watched him scuttle off, a mischievous grin on his face, Taylor slumped back against the wall, needing some time to come to grips with her thoughts. This really was happening, whether she was ready or not.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 Seeing Jake slope off to the fringes of the gathering in the midst of the chaos, Estela had followed after him, her expression set.

“Are you going to actually _talk_ to me before you fly off into the sunset? Or do hammock-dwelling sarcastic loners not do that?”

Jake gave a laugh, deflecting, trying to avoid letting her gain eye contact. “Don’t blow a gasket, Katniss. It’s just life. You can’t follow your little friends around holding hands forever…”

“If it’s not what you want, that’s fine, but you can cut the crap. I know when you’re lying to me, and I’m not gonna take it from you.”

“You’re a pain in my ass, ya know that?”

Estela managed to catch his eye, and stared him down, refusing to budge. “I can’t get on that plane home if I don’t know you’ll be okay.”

“That’s just playin’ dirty…”

“No, it’s the truth. As if you’d feel any different.”

Jake ran his hands through his hair, backed into a corner. He met her gaze, steely and determined. She was indomitable, that was for sure, something he admired when it wasn’t working against him.

“Get me another drink,” he said finally.

They settled against a rain-soaked window, feeling the ongoing rhythm through the glass. Estela popped open a beer and handed it to Jake, who took a long swig.

“That help?” she said, a slight smirk on her face.

He gave an amused huff and chinked his bottle to hers. “Don’t it always?”

Estela sat forward, searching his face, asking for his trust in her.

 Jake drank again, and a pained expression came to his face. Admitting to his deeper feelings was not among his favourite pastimes. “The thing is, I can’t go home. I’ve got to rely on myself, make my life _something_ halfway worthwhile. I gotta face it. If I go with you, I’m hidin’. You’ll go back to the states to finish your degree, and I’ll be back where I am now, except it’ll be even harder. No, it’s not what I want. _None of this_ is what I want. I’m just doin’ the best with the cards I’ve been dealt.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that…”

“Katniss, it _does._ Really, it does. I’ll swing by La Huerta, catch up at a reunion once a year. I won’t be the person I was before; I know I’m not alone, and I’m grateful- _honest_. I’ll try… I’ll try and get my name cleared. But I gotta accept what my life is.”

Estela was thoughtful for a long while. “Nothing’s set in stone,” she said. “A little while ago, you pointed out to me that I don’t give up on anything. And I will fight for you to go home. University can wait if it needs to; what matters is getting back your freedom.”

Jake shook his head, incredulous. It was touching and all, but the last thing he wanted was another life being thrown away. “Look, I get it. You’ve gotta put the world to rights, and to hell with anythin’ that gets in your way. But you’ve got your life… you’ve got your Princess back, for good. I don’t want you gettin’ caught up chasing a lost cause. Not for me.”

“I think it’s up to me to decide what I do with my life.”

“Fine. I know better than to argue with that. I can’t pretend anymore, though. Whatever anyone else might do, I’ve gotta face reality. And I need you to accept that.”

“Jake… I…” Estela put an arm around him and rested her head against his shoulder. It hurt, but he was being honest with her, and she respected it. “I hope you can be happy. Real, honest happy. Because you are so much better than that stupid show you put on. I’ll miss you, _cabron_.”

“Yeah, I know.” He returned the gesture, wrapping her in a one-armed hug. “I’m gonna miss you too. Stubborn bitch.” Beer sprayed unceremoniously from his mouth as she smacked him affectionately over the head. “Ha.”

Laughter ringing from within the hotel disturbed a comfortable silence.

“So… we’re good?”

Estela sighed deeply. “We’re good. Just… don’t ever forget that there’s always a space in our spare room with your name on it.”

His expression soft, Jake roughed her up a bit, bringing the smile to her face that he’d needed to see. Was he cutting his nose to spite his face? Maybe he was, but the thought of something different, something _new_ , hopeful even… he wasn’t sure he’d even know how to do it. With a smile that was tinged with sadness, he pulled her to her feet.

They followed the voices to the far end of the lobby, where a group had gathered by one of the walls, wielding paintbrushes. Grace sat atop a heavy cabinet, allowing her to paint pictures above head height whilst overseeing the whole wall, Quinn and Michelle sat elbow-to-elbow on the floor, collaborating on something bright and colourful, and Craig was flinging paint in Taylor’s direction while she dodged and squealed.

Michelle winced, ducking behind her girlfriend. “Craig, if you get paint in my hair, I _won’t_ be held responsible for what might happen to you…”

“Craig!” Grace called down from her perch, in her best, rather unconvincing, authoritative tone. “I think we’re going to have to make that another rule. Keep your paint to yourself, please.”

Visibly deflating, he snuck one last defiant flick of paint, then somewhat sulkily got back to work drawing faces on the figures he’d painted on the wall.

Jake and Estela took in the colourful display. It was something of a hodge-podge, with varied art styles and skill-level showing clearly, but that was part of its charm. Scenes of their friends, of little snippets of their adventures on La Huerta were being lovingly painted onto the Celestial itself, clearly marking it as theirs.

“Huh,” said Estela, her gaze travelling between the illustrations before settling on what Taylor was painting… their shared encounter with the guardian crab. “This is… actually really nice. You’re gonna leave this here, right?”

Grace beamed. “That’s the idea. Whatever the future holds for this place, I thought we should leave our mark on it. We’ll have somewhere to come back to, to remember.”

 Putting her arms around Taylor’s neck, Estela leaned in to kiss her temple and examined the painted scene. “One question. Why do I have heart eyes?”

“Because you’re in love with me. Duh.”

“But I’m looking at the crab. It looks like I’ve got some kind of seafood fetish…”

Taylor looked back at her masterpiece and her face fell. “You’re… not wrong. Oops.”

Leaving behind his half-finished painting of Jake and Sean in a fist-fight, Craig lumbered over, Sharpie in hand, and snorted with laughter as he observed Taylor’s handiwork. He leant in, and with a few flourishes of the pen, left behind an ‘improvement’ in the form of a thought bubble over doodle-Estela’s head.

“Fixed it!” he declared.

“’ _Taylor’s butt’._ Nice.”

“And _why_ does a hideous monster crab remind her of my ass?”

“ _Nah!_ She’s thinking about your ass, and the crab just happens to be there. You were the one to finish it off, right? That’s ‘cause she was distracted.”

Jake, meanwhile, was examining a none-too-flattering depiction of his helicopter flying abilities. “Hey, you couldn’t have drawn it _before_ it came crashing down?” He asked, looking over his illustrated friends that were either screaming or plummeting to the sea. “Or at least leave a note saying ‘despite the chopper being half-blown apart, the pilot managed _not_ to kill anyone’.” As Taylor simply laughed at him, he pointed at Craig’s contribution to the wall. “Why am I so short? I look like I’m trying to beat up the BFG!”

Craig shrugged. “That’s just how I remember it, bro.”

“Artistic licence,” Taylor added with a wink. She handed him a paintbrush. “If you can do better, be our guest. We’ve got a whole wall to fill.”

Grace peered down at them from the top of the cabinet. “You can help, but you’ve got to follow the rules.”

“There’s rules?”

“If we’re going to keep this wall when we renovate, it needs to be fairly tasteful.” As everyone automatically glanced at Taylor’s controversial crab painting, Grace continued. “No coarse language, no nudity. Please try to keep violence and gore to a minimum. We want these to be depictions of events that actually took place, so work from memories, not imagination. No unauthorised interference with another artist’s work… and, most importantly, no flicking paint near Michelle’s hair.”

“ _Thank you!_ ” Michelle piped up from her spot on the floor.

“Well, you’ve just about taken all the fun outta this, but I guess I’m in. Pass the paint, Ariel.”

Quinn handed Jake a palette before settling back next to Michelle and continuing to paint long, graceful strokes. She glanced to her girlfriend and smiled as she observed the look in her eye.

“You’ve really got a talent for this, Quinn,” Michelle gushed, her heart swelling at the sight of Quinn’s painting of the two of them, rosy cheeked and hand-in-hand. Not so confident with drawing people, she’d taken the task of surrounding the figures with a backdrop, the waterfall they’d been sitting by when they’d shared their first kiss. It only made sense that painting the scene would be a collaboration between the two of them.

“ _We_ have a talent for this. As a team,” Quinn corrected, and she leant in to peck her girlfriend on the cheek.

“So, uh, not to make assumptions or anything…” Taylor began, a small smirk on her face, “but does this mean that Quinchelle is like, officially official? Can I squee over you two in public now?”

Michelle rolled her eyes, but her expression showed great affection. “Knock yourself out, Taylor.”

“ _Yay, Quinchelle!_ ” Taylor squealed, her arms flying back, sending a great glob of paint through the air towards Aleister, who’d innocently walked over to investigate the gathering.

“Aack!” he cried out, wiping paint from his face. “Which one of you _buffoons_ was that?” When he glanced upwards and spotted his wife, he caught himself, and his expression softened in an instant. “I mean, ah… could you be more careful, please?”

Grace giggled at him as blue paint dripped off the end of his nose. “Oh, Al. You look so funny! Come here, sweetheart, I have a cloth for emergencies just like this.”

Noticeably giving Estela a wide berth, Aleister approached Grace and gratefully took the cloth to clean his face. He looked at the wall with uncertainty plain in his eyes. “You are… sure… about this, darling? This is a hotel lobby after all, the décor needs to be of a certain _standard_ …”

“This isn’t for the guests,” she replied, “it’s for us. Sometimes to be beautiful, art doesn’t need to be perfect to look at, it’s about what it represents.”

Recognition dawned on Aleister’s face. “I suppose… this has the same draw to you as fractal art… it’s a visual manifestation of something that stirs your soul.”

Grace blushed. “Exactly.” She gave him a loving smile. “You should join us. With your eye for detail, I think you could bring our special memories to life in a lovely way.”

Seeing an opportunity, Taylor pulled up a chair beside herself and Estela and gestured Aleister to come over. “There’s a piece of wall right here just for you.”

 There was an uncomfortable hush as he tentatively moved to join them, his eyes flicking nervously over Estela who had pointedly turned her attention back to her painting.

After several uneasy minutes, Estela cleared her throat and looked at Aleister with a sideways glance. “I… uh… I wanted to… to apologise.” Feeling awkward, she avoided eye contact as he turned his head to face her. “I won’t pretend to be happy about you did but… I know why you did it.” She shifted uncomfortably. “I… um… appreciate you trying to keep me safe, when I couldn’t do it for myself.”

As she spoke to him, Aleister’s whole frame visibly relaxed. Getting to the point where they genuinely saw one another as trusted kin had been a rocky road, and that those months of progress had not been squandered was a great relief. Excruciatingly aware that everyone around was waiting with baited breath for confirmation of a truce between the reluctant siblings, he tried again to meet Estela’s eye, and this time she accepted him, offering a sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry it happened the way it did,” he responded, choosing his words with care. “It would not have been my intention to go behind your back, but…”

“… but Taylor was nearly dead, and I was on the verge of a mental breakdown? Yep. I get it.” To her relief, everyone had sensed that the danger of another angry spat had passed, and had returned their attention to what they were doing. Estela offered a hand, which Aleister politely took. “I don’t really want to talk about any of that right now, but you should know that we’re okay.”

His expression far lighter than when he first approached, Aleister nodded gratefully and turned his attention to the wall. “As we are changing the subject…”  His eye lingered on Taylor’s crab. “Care to explain why your likeness is making romantic advances on a hapless crustacean?”

Soon, the memory wall was being brushed and daubed from all sides, and Taylor’s unfortunate crab illustration had plenty of competition for the title of ‘most lovingly ridiculed contribution’. The whole gang was in on the action, sharing their adventures and laughing -usually at the expense of one another. The copious amounts of alcohol consumed over the course of the night only added to the fun.

“Wait, _whaaaat?”_ Zahra protested. “Craig, have you painted us _holding hands?_ Take that down!” Rather too tipsy to wrestle the brush off him, she slipped onto the floor with a bump and lay there, drunk and defeated.

Varyyn turned out to be quite the skilled artist, and his rather dashing portrait of Diego in his full Vaanti attire made the subject’s on work beside it -stick figures of the group at the momentous 1920s wedding- look somewhat childlike. Naturally, Varyyn gushed over his husband’s efforts, but offered to help him out by guiding his arms ‘ _Ghost’-_ style. An ‘Unchained Melody’ sing-along later, and Diego’s night was made.

More than a little intoxicated, Raj went wild with swirls of colours, messes of patterns and distorted images of the familiar. He explained to Sean, who was immortalising their flight into Cetus’ mouth, that it was supposed to be what the world looked like when they went through time to find the Heart for Quinn. There was a simultaneous, “ _Ohhhhhh_!” from the many amused onlookers who’d been baffled by Raj’s vision. In the end, it actually made a lot of sense.

When a still-recovering Taylor became weary, she reclined back against Estela’s chest. In her happy place, she could just watch her friends as they coloured the wall with memories. Her eyelids drooped.

“Do you need to go to bed?”

She slumped back further. “Ugh… I think I’m getting close. If I fall asleep and start drooling on you again, please wake me up. I just _know_ one of those buttheads would paint that. Probably Jake… such a jerk.”

Thankfully, a long week of almost non-stop celebration had left everyone ready to wind-down and just take it easy for that last night. Sean and Craig hauled mattresses into the lobby for the night of quiet rest and reminiscing that the whole group needed.

“Nighty-night, everyone,” Diego yawned, bedding down between Taylor and Varyyn.

A cosy blanket and Estela’s arms and legs surrounding her tired body, Taylor could barely make out the words of her loved ones all around her. She gave a happy, wordless mumble and snuggled in tight. How fitting, she thought, that on this final night the thirteen of them would sleep side-by-side, as they had so often before when readying themselves to face some great, looming unknown. Before she could begin to embrace the emotional heft of what was the end of an era, Taylor’s eyes slipped closed, and she was sound asleep within seconds.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Taylor awoke to the darkness, the hotel lobby quiet save for the peaceful breathing -and in some cases, snoring- of her slumbering friends. In the moment it took for her to recall where she was, a deep ache settled in her heart. It was all… over. She felt her breathing quicken, fear that she couldn’t accept. This was what _everything_ had been for. The whole reason she’d been willing to offer up her own life. The happy ending. Suddenly overwhelmed, she needed space. Extracting herself from Estela’s firm grasp was challenging. Since the world’s resurrection, Estela would hold tightly to Taylor as if for dear life, unable to sleep without the security of feeling her wife right there, pressed up against her. It was an invisible scar that Taylor hoped would heal in time.

 She tiptoed over to the darkened feature wall, and sat down on the cool tiles, gazing upwards. Fingers trembling, she reached out to touch an image visible in the moonlight; the thirteen of them confronting Rourke on the Celestial’s rooftop on that fateful night, so long ago.

For all the months of planning, wishing, hoping… Taylor couldn’t have prepared herself for what survival might mean. A life ahead of her, one she never truly expected to live. A world beyond La Huerta… something she could only piece together with false memories that had faded to next to nothing. After everything she’d faced, she’d been certain this would be easy. A normal life. In many ways, it _was_ easy. She had Estela, and the prospect of sharing her home filled Taylor with utter joy… it was all she’d wanted. But to say goodbye, to separate herself from the family that had made her the person she was, _that_ was hard.

Her eyes were drawn to the scene she’d painted with Estela; their hand-fasting. Diego and Varyyn being joined alongside them, their friends sharing in their joy. Her lip wobbled dangerously as she looked from one scene to another- epic battles, bizarre creatures, celebrations, romance being found, dangers faced… and always those same wonderful people standing by her. For a long while she was lost in reflection. Those images represented the very essence of her being. All she’d ever been. Taylor had to admit it to herself; she was afraid.

There was a rustling of blankets, tossing and turning. Even before she looked, she knew it was Estela. Hastily, Taylor tiptoed back to the mattress and crawled back to the space from which she’d come. Though Estela did not appear to be awake, she instantly pulled her wife close -if anything, even tighter than before. Taylor nestled in, nuzzling her face against Estela’s neck, and tenderly stroked her back until the tension was soothed from both their bodies. She caught a glimpse of the symbol on her wrist, the same that adorned her wife’s heart; the chain that represented the shackles binding her to Vaanu, holding her captive. Taylor might be afraid, but it was fear of a great unknown, and the fear in itself was… liberating. She’d broken free of her prison; for the first time in her short existence, she was unencumbered by the source of her being. Closing her eyes once more, she tried to brace herself for the day ahead… for her whole new life.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The heavy clunking of suitcases filled the lobby, everything gathered to be loaded onto the boat which had arrived with the dawn. Last minute checks were undertaken, making sure nothing important was left behind, while the final farewells began.

 Totally organised and with her bags easily first in the queue for loading, Michelle paced beside the marina and tried to steady her breathing, while Quinn gently talked her through the anxiety that had crept up on her. For everything she had to look forward to, there was so much being left behind. When Taylor ran up to the port, trailing Estela behind her, Michelle’s heavily made-up eyes welled.

“God, I am so sick of you two making me cry!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around them both.

Taylor laughed, but couldn’t stop the tears from coming. “Hey! You’re getting me started!”

Quinn, also sniffing, found herself pulled into the shared embrace. “I can’t believe this is happening… I thought we’d always be here… together.”

“Sorry for throwing a wrench in that plan,” Taylor giggled, nuzzling up to the dainty redhead. She wiped her eyes. “But we’ll always be a family, right? And… and we’ll go to Hartfield, and do like… normal people things.”

Estela looked at Michelle enquiringly. “We were gonna… go for brunch?”

For a moment, she was confused, but then Michelle gave a short laugh. “Oh, I remember! Of course, we’ll take you for your first brunch.” That the invitation had stuck in her friend’s mind was telling; Estela’s pre-La Huerta social life had been non-existent. It would be different now. Hartfeld would be different.

The harbour filled with people quickly, and the departure loomed. Sean took on his usual role of taking care of the whole group; hauling everyone’s suitcases onto the boat and checking in with his friends one-by-one. How strange it felt to know that this family he’d taken as his own, to whom he’d viewed himself as a protector, would part after all this time. Through everything they’d been through, their safety had been in sticking together, and to leave Taylor and Estela behind now felt bizarre… utterly wrong.

“Taylor…” he put a hand on her shoulder, concern clear in his eyes.

“Sean, you okay?”

“Are _you_ okay? It feels as though we’re abandoning you… after everything you’ve done for us.”

She shook her head frantically. “No! Don’t think like that! I’m _fine_.” Taylor felt herself wrapped up in his strong arms. “I could never feel abandoned. And I know that whatever might happen, I could always show up on your door unannounced and you’d do your protective alpha male routine, take care of me like you always take care of everyone. You’re basically the group dad, and dads are for life, right?”

Sean gave her shoulder a squeeze and looked over her with great affection. “So long as you know that.” He smiled, and glanced over to Estela who was awkwardly patting the back of a crying Grace. “And… take good care of Estela. I think she needs someone like you.”

“I think we need each other. We’ll be all right, I promise.”

Between Taylor and Varyyn, Diego was a left a blubbering mess.

Varyyn held him with the utmost in tenderness, stroking his face. “I will await your return with love, my Diego. Remember, you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart, I'll always be with you.”

Through his sniffles, Diego laughed. “ _Elyyshar_ of the Vaanti, quoting _Winnie the Pooh_ to cheer me up. What a time to be alive!” He buried his face in Varyyn’s shoulder and cried some more.

“Diego, you goofball, you’ll be back here in like a week!” Taylor laughed into his shoulder. “ _I’m_ the one who should be crying- I’m not gonna see these guys for ages… Oh no. Yup, here it comes.” And then she was sobbing right along with him.

Raj slapped them both on the back. “Oh, my dudes! Take those frowns and turn ‘em around! I know we’ll be seeing you real soon. And just wait for college to come back- a Raj Rage every weekend! We could even get a bunch of us together and houseshare.”

“Is that a thing people do?” Taylor asked. “Don’t you just stay on campus?”

“You can… or you could wake up with all your homies and a Raj Special for breakfast every morning. You should think about it.”

Diego grinned. That… sounded far more fun than the first three years of his college experience had been. If he had to spend those long school terms away from Varyyn, surely that was the _only_ way to do it.

With time slipping away all too fast, everyone began to board, saying last goodbyes.

“Has anyone seen Craig and Zahra?” Michelle asked, leaning over the edge of the boat and scouring the marina. “The captain wants to leave soon…”

Taylor felt a painful pang, and was quietly grateful that there was at least someone dragging their feet.

Sean glanced up the path from the hotel and shook his head. “I brought Zahra’s bag down, but I think Craig started unpacking. Apparently, he had a feeling he’d forgotten something.”

“ _Again?”_ Michelle groaned. _“_ An hour ago, he pulled everything out because he’d ‘lost his jacket’. Which he was wearing. He’s _definitely_ stalling.”

Meanwhile, Estela had tears in her eyes as Jake hugged her goodbye. “Dammit,” she growled, “I was gonna get through this without crying. Fuck you.” Her meaning though, was quite clear.

“Love ya too,” Jake mumbled, his own eyes wet. He’d not felt a connection like this since… since Mike. Saying goodbye hurt like hell. “Look, maybe I’ll visit. I’ve gotta be flying out your way at some point.”

“You’d better.” Sniffling, she came away, exchanging a look of understanding.

“Where _are_ they?” Aleister was moaning. “We have a schedule for a _reason._ ”

And then Zahra, at long last, made an appearance.

“And what kind of time do you call this?”

Without so much as offering a glance to Aleister, Zahra coolly flicked up her middle finger in his direction. She made a beeline straight for Taylor and Estela, along with Varyyn now the only ones left on the boardwalk.

“A’ight, let’s get this over with,” she said, resigned, and held out her arms to accept hugs goodbye.

The embrace lingered, and Estela was left to pry Taylor away. “They’ve gotta go…”

“I know, but she _never_ lets me hug her…”

Zahra smirked. “Don’t worry, Tayls, I’ll give you another one for Christmas. I guess I owe you that much after all that ‘saving the world’ crap.”

“You’re joking, but I don’t even care; I’m gonna snuggle your snarky brains out when December rolls around!”

Aleister butted in, leaning over the edge. “The captain’s getting impatient. _Where’s Craig_?”

With a non-committal shrug of her shoulders, Zahra climbed aboard. “Eh. I told him we’ll go without him. Just blow the horn and he’ll panic.”

Like magic, mere seconds after the horn rang out, Craig came sprinting out of the underbrush, arms full of luggage. All of which was dumped unceremoniously on the boardwalk as he lurched forward to grab Taylor from behind and swing her round in the air. Through her tears, she squealed with loving amusement, and dizzily collapsed to the ground when he let her go. Craig moved as if to attempt the same manoeuvre on Estela, but caught himself, instead going for the safer option of a traditional bear hug.

“Ha. You break his nose once and he actually learns something,” Zahra sniggered. “I should remember that. Come on Craiggers, we’re gonna be stuck on this thing together for a long time; try not to get Rourke Jr too pissy.”

“Can you _please_ not call me that…” Aleister protested, indeed getting rather pissy.

With all intended passengers finally onboard, and the boat’s engine going, the final farewells were called frantically back and forth. By now, Taylor was all out of tissues, but she’d be damned if she could stop crying.

 Overwhelmed, Jake took a deep breath.

“Aw, screw it!” He hopped off the side of the boat, with a glance back over his shoulder and a salute to Sean. “Mind grabbing my stuff for me, QB? _Hey Katniss_ , that spare room still available?”

Estela turned, eyes wide. “Are you serious?”

“Nah, unloaded my bag for shits an’ giggles.”

Her face lit up, Estela gave a little jump of excitement and ran to fling her arms around her very best sparring partner, while Taylor hollered her approval.

“ _Tooop Guuun_!!!”

Almost bowled over by the combined force of both women throwing themselves at him, Jake laughed, and the heavy weight in his chest that he’d stubbornly resisted letting go shifted, just slightly. It was a small change, but enough to light a spark of hope. Maybe there was a life out there for him after all.

“Wait!” Craig spluttered. “You can’t just go without-“

Estela shoved Jake upwards and Sean hauled him back up onto the deck.

Raj jumped forwards immediately. “This is not a drill, dudes! Our pilot is preparing for take-off!”

Amid hysterical laughter and even more tears, a turbo-charged round of parting hugs swept Jake off his feet. Just a minute later, he was flung back over the side, caught by Estela who collapsed with him in a heap, tears of mirth streaming down her cheeks.

And then, with no regard for the magnitude of what was taking place, the boat pulled away, taking nine Catalysts from La Huerta at long last. Taking them home.

A profound feeling of loss rose up inside Taylor, engulfing her. She found herself swaying helplessly, her legs trembling beneath her. Strong arms came from behind, and she was steadied, held secure as Estela’s wet face nuzzled against her own.

“It’s okay…” Estela breathed, and she pressed the softest of kisses to Taylor’s temple. “I’ve got you.”

Jake was quiet, cross-legged on the weathered boards, watching his ticket back to a life of reclusion in Costa Rica leave without him. He wouldn’t be that man again.

Varyyn wiped away a tear. In his heart he knew that Diego would never be parted from him. He’d return, bright-eyed and full of optimism. With last, long embraces with his friends, he set on his way to Elyys’tel, where he’d fulfil his destiny in the knowledge that somewhere beyond the horizon, his soulmate was taking steps towards doing the same.

Together, the three remaining Catalysts made fast tracks to the grassy hill that overlooked the Celestial. Estela and Taylor’s hill. Legs dangling, they looked out into the vast expanse of ocean, to endless somewheres, the possibilities that now stretched out before them. And in the midst of it all, the vessel that ferried their friends on to their futures.

Estela breathed deeply, grateful for the two people who sat either side of her, and for Taylor’s hand entwined in hers. She would be leaving La Huerta a vastly different woman to the person who stepped off that plane. But it was time now, time to live.

The boat melted into the distance, obscured by the never-ending stretch of shimmering blue waters. Taylor felt her heart in her throat as the faces of her friends blurred into nothing. Emotion clutched at her chest, and she forced herself to remember what she knew was true; it was not goodbye… this was only the beginning. In the midst of parting’s sweet sorrow, there was Estela tenderly stroking her hand. Even with the great unknown looming, it was all the reassurance she needed.

“Are you ready, _mi amor?_ ”

With a shuddering breath, Taylor looked away, letting her friends go, and sought comfort in Estela’s eyes, which shone with devotion. She held the gaze for a few moments, soaking in the love that would always be her anchor, keeping her true and courageous. Before she even knew she was doing it, she inched closer, and smiled against Estela’s lips as they softly brushed her own. Taylor deepened the kiss, her eyes closed, feeling with absolute certainty that she would always be home. She had Estela.

“With you? I could take on the world right now,” she whispered, coming away slightly, before sneaking in one more kiss. “Let’s go live our life.”


	8. Epilogue

_EPILOGUE_

_June 2023_

 

Taylor blinked awake, her face against Estela’s chest, which rose and fell to the sound of soft, contented snores. After all this time, she could not get over the utter blessing it was to be there with her. She ran her hand over her wife’s tight and rounded belly, feeling for movement within. A fluttering bump against her palm made her heart soar. This was it… paradise.

“Good morning, baby…” she whispered, then looked up as she felt Estela stirring. “And good morning, mama.”

Without opening her eyes, Estela leant down and kissed the top of Taylor’s head. “Morning…”

It was six years to the day since they first set foot on La Huerta, and as per tradition, the anniversary marked the first day of the annual reunion. Everyone had remained close, even having finished college and gone in different directions, but the yearly gathering on the island was always a great event. Grace and Aleister, now with their infant son Reginald in tow, had taken over the running of the Celestial and had renovated it just enough to carry their stamp, with no trace of the monuments to Everett Rourke that had once been prevalent. With most of the gang flying in imminently, they’d been busy with preparations, assisted by Taylor, Estela and Diego, who were semi-permanent La Huerta residents themselves. The hotel immaculate and cleared of other visitors, all that remained was to welcome their friends home.

 In their hut in the old Catalyst village, a little house that was now truly a home, with photographs of loved ones and treasured memories looking down from the walls, Taylor and Estela got ready side by side. Packing a bag for the reunion was par for the course, but this time there were a few extra items put away in anticipation of the birth that could happen at any time. They wouldn’t be going far but… just in case.

 Briefly rummaging through a drawer, Estela pulled out an envelope. “Taylor… happy birthday, _mi alma_!”

 Taylor laughed and took it from her. “Oh, you shouldn’t have! Especially because it’s not actually my birthday.” She opened the envelope and pulled out a colourful greeting card. “And I am _not_ turning six.”

Giggling, Estela put her arms around her and kissed her temple. “Look, it’s even got a badge for you to wear.”

“ _I am six_ ,” Taylor read. “Great. I wonder how many of these I’ll get this year.” She opened the card. “At least you didn’t write a message _wildly_ inappropriate for the card’s clearly intended audience. Like last year.” With a snigger, she hugged Estela back. Those six years had been a ride, and she was eternally grateful for every one. Joking aside, it was always a special occasion to reflect; six years since she’d come to being, six years since she met the eleven most wonderful people she’d ever know. Six years since she first met the gaze of the woman who would forever own her heart. “I love you, Estela.”

“I love you too. Always, always.”

 

While Taylor rushed around, gathering all the home-grown fruits she’d promised to bring for Raj, Estela found herself left behind, slowed down by the extra weight and a painful back. She couldn’t wait to hold her baby… and neither could she wait to have her body back to normal.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” she asked, a little frustrated.

A little smile came to Taylor’s face as she took Estela’s hand and pulled her into her waiting arms. “Maybe, just one thing…” She wove a hand up to Estela’s chin and gently drew her in for a warm and tender kiss.

“That’s exactly what I was hoping for.”

 

* * *

 

 

The Celestial’s pool seemed to shimmer in the midday sun, the cerulean waters disturbed by the frolics of friends reunited once more. A big lunch cook-up and a lazy afternoon was tradition by this point, and the air was already filled with the most delicious scents as Raj got down to business. Naturally, Quinn had brought along a great selection of cupcakes for dessert, and already three or four had been snaffled by those who simply couldn’t wait.

At the shallow end of the pool, Aleister sat with little Reggie on his knee, kicking his tiny legs merrily as he babbled to himself.

Pulling faces, Quinn reached over to tickle the baby’s tummy, and beamed as Reggie gave a delighted squeal. “Oh Al, he’s gotten so big! _Haven’t you Mister Reginald?_ ”

Pride was clear on the father’s face as he held out his boy to splash around on his belly. “He’s so like Grace; bright… inquisitive…”

“Food’s out, doodlebugs!” came a holler from the central table.

Grace crouched beside the pool and took Reggie in her arms. “Come on, little man; let’s get you dried up and ready for some yummy lunch!” She leant to give Aleister a kiss. “Isn’t he doing so well? I thought he’d be shy with so many people.”

“I don’t think he’s quite sure of Craig still, but to be quite frank, that troglodyte scares us all.”

“Oh, you! We’ll save you a seat.”

Amid the chattering and scraping of chairs, Sean rose to his feet to begin the celebration.

“Well,” he said, “we’re all here, despite the ongoing concerns for the competency of our beloved pilot.”

His feet up on the table, Jake just shrugged it off. “Laugh it up, assholes. Without me, you’ll be walkin’ home.”

“So,” Sean continued, “I think it’s time for the birthday girl’s traditional speech to get us started.”

A party hat lopsided on her head, Taylor gave an exaggerated roll of her eyes. “It’s not my birthday, peeps.”

“Didn’t stop ya from accepting that three-tier cake last year, Princess…”

“Speech! _Speech!”_

Resigned to her fate, Taylor stood up. “All right, here goes.”  For her show of resistance, she actually loved this… it was almost like old times, and she lived for it. “So, uh, this has been a big one. In so many, _so many_ ways. You think that you survive the end of the world, everything after that’s gotta be a cakewalk. But life is hard. Some days you wake up, and it feels like everything you ever dreamed of will always be just out of reach.” Her voice trembled, but she recovered herself. “There’s not one of you who didn’t have to put up with a blubbering phone call from me this past year; you comforted us when we lost hope, and celebrated right along with us when hoping and trying finally paid off.” Automatically, she looked over to Estela who glanced up from stroking her bump to meet Taylor’s eyes with a gaze overflowing with affection. She had to take a moment before continuing, wiping her eyes. “Michelle… truly a queen. I honestly don’t know how you do it-“

“Coffee. _So_ much coffee.”

 “-but you managed to kick the third year of med school in its ass, all the while being willing to drop everything in a heartbeat if one of us needed to talk. And that you’re here to help us out with the baby… there’s just… there’s no words for what it means. I am so over the moon for you both about your engagement; you are two of the strongest, kindest souls I’ll ever know, and you truly deserve each other.”

 “Quinn just wants an excuse to make a ridiculously extravagant cake.” Michelle gave her a wink.

“Hey!” Quinn laughed, wrinkling up her nose in feigned offense. “Well, between your last ear of school, my first public speaking engagements, _and_ a wedding to plan, I think we’ll have earned a good cake.” She leaned into her fiancé for a kiss, and there might as well have been no one alive but the two of them.

“One of the greatest blessings in my life has been to watch Grace and Aleister become the most amazing parents to their sweet little man, Reggie. Who, I might add, said his first word yesterday…”

Beaming, Grace tickled under her son’s chin. “What can you say, sweetie?” She wiggled a finger in Aleister’s direction. “Who’s that?”

“ _Dada!”_

Another big cheer. The infant looked slightly perturbed by the outburst, and snuggled closer to his mother.

And so they reflected on another year; their trials, heartaches and triumphs. Quinn’s cupcake business had truly taken flight, and she’d begun her first forays into non-profit work. What Zahra did on her computer all day, no one was quite sure, and most were too afraid to ask, but she was happy, opening herself up to new avenues, and _always_ heading up an unstoppable dynamic duo, supporting Craig as he found the confidence to make his way in the world and embrace his own successes. Sean was looking forward to his first season as a pro on the Condors, Raj’s runaway success with his cooking vlog had landed him talks about the television show of his dreams, and Taylor herself was taking a break from fulfilling youth work in San Trobida after having fast-tracked her degree and graduated after three years. Having ramped up his study of film for the past few years, Diego was also looking forward to taking a year back on La Huerta, where he could knuckle down and make some progress on his book -as well as spend some quality time with Varyyn, and bond with the baby he’d helped bring into existence. Jake had returned home a free man several years prior, but now spent far more time piloting tourists around the Greater Antilles, with home bases on both La Huerta and San Trobida. Rourke International was now a distant memory, the company having been re-branded under Aleister’s direction as Catalyst International. It was only then, with Rourke’s influence scorched from everything he’d once touched, that Estela’s resistance to Aleister’s attempts to gift her a fair share of inheritance waned. Her objective was simple; to use the wealth she’d inherited to rebuild her war-ravaged home, and to offer its young people the opportunities her own mother had sacrificed herself to give Estela. With a family of Tio Nicolas in San Trobida; Grace, Aleister, Diego and Varyyn on La Huerta; and Taylor, right at her side wherever she might be, she was finally contented and at peace.

With tears in her eyes, Taylor wrapped up her ‘birthday’ speech, toasting to another year with a glass of fruit punch held high. Then, to do the rounds… picking up, as anticipated, a great stash of birthday cards, while cramming in as much catching-up as she could manage before the inevitable drunken shenanigans took over.

Taylor picked up a second glass with her refill and wandered back to the poolside hammock where Estela awaited her.

“You look comfy,” she said with a loving wink.

“Should hope so… I’m fairly sure I’m stuck here.”

Taylor giggled. “Thankfully, we’ve got a whole team of pregnant-lady-extractors on hand, so you can just take it easy.” Handing over the fruit drink, she rested on the edge of the hammock and kissed her wife’s forehead.

Closer now, Taylor sensed something… different… new. There was something in Estela’s expression, a look of holding onto a secret, some wonderful knowledge that was all hers. Her heart skipped a beat. Was she…?

An almost imperceptible nod confirmed her suspicions, and she had to hold back a gasp.

“So, uh… how long do you want to give it before I break up the party… _and_ Raj’s heart?”

Estela leaned in close, sharing a clandestine smile and whispering so only Taylor could hear. “They’re only about twenty minutes apart; we’ve got time. Let poor Michelle relax for a little while longer.”

Gently wriggling up against her beloved, Taylor pressed a sweet kiss to her lips and cradled her rounded belly. As her heart pounded with elation, she looked over the gathering; her family. Raj and Jake were engaged in their annual drinks-mix-off. Jake, as always, was the obvious underdog, but keeping pace and already impressing the eager judges. Cocktail in each hand, Quinn reclined in a floating pool ring, taking her time in making her pick of the winner, while avoiding the wild splashing from the direction of Craig, Sean, Diego and Varyyn, who’d taken a break from drinks tasting for a two-on-two ball game.  Michelle and Grace were taking well-earned respite by the pool, watching the goings-on with their feet up in the most comfortable deck chairs. Clearly under the impression that no one bar the protective father was watching, Zahra was quietly singing for an entranced baby Reggie. Tucked up with the woman she loved and on the very brink of becoming a mother, Taylor smiled helplessly; completely, palpably content. So much had changed, and yet… so little had changed at all.

 It was as though Taylor was looking at everything she could have wished for. They’d made it through… together, joined by bonds forged in fire and tempered in grief and hope. They’d survived, just as they’d survive the challenges along each of their paths, for the journey would never be walked alone.

_We’re finally on our way…_


End file.
